Awesome Inc.'s View on Things

Madness Time!

2007-03-06T06:54:00.000-07:00

I'll do a post on the Big Dance next week after the matchups are released, but I figured I'd throw up a conference tourney prediction post for fun. Here's how I see the major six conferences playing out this weekend.

ACC
Thursday -
8. Florida St. over 9. Clemson
5. Maryland over 12. Miami
6. Georgia Tech over 11. Wake Forest
7. Duke over 10. NC State.

Friday -
1. North Carolina over 8. FSU
5. Maryland over 4. Boston College
6. Georgia Tech over 3. Virginia Tech
7. Duke over 2. Virginia.

Saturday -
1. North Carolina over 5. Maryland
6. Georgia Tech over 7. Duke

Sunday - 1. North Carolina over 6. Georgia Tech
Champion - UNC

Big Ten
Thursday -
8. Michigan over 9. Minnesota
7. Michigan St. over Northwestern
6. Illinois over 11. Penn St.

Friday -
1. Ohio St. over Michigan
4. Iowa over 5. Purdue
6. Illinois over 3. Indiana
2. Wisconsin over 7. Michigan St.

Saturday -
1. Ohio St. over 4. Iowa
2. Wisconsin over 6. Illinois

Sunday - 1. Ohio St. over 2. Wisconsin
Champion - OSU

Big 12
Thursday -
9. Oklahoma over 8. Iowa State
5. Texas Tech over 12. Colorado
7. Oklahoma St. over 10. Nebraska
6. Missouri over 11. Baylor

Friday -
1. Kansas over 9. OU
5. Texas Tech over 4. Kansas St.
3. Texas over 6. Missouri
2. Texas A&M over Oklahoma St.

Saturday -
1. Kansas over 5. Texas Tech
2. Texas A&M over 3. Texas

Sunday - 1. Kansas over 2. Texas A&M
Champion - Kansas

Big East
Wednesday -
8. Depaul over 9. Villanova
5. Syracuse over 12. UConn
6. Marquette over 11. St. John's
10. Providence over 7. West Virginia

Thursday -
1. Georgetown over 8. Depaul
4. Notre Dame over 5. Syracuse
6. Marquette over 3. Pittsburgh
2. Louisville over 10. Providence

Friday -
1. G'town over 4. Notre Dame
2. Louisville over 6. Marquette

Saturday - 2. Louisville over 1. Georgetown
Champion - Louisville

Pac-10
Wednesday -
8. Cal over 9. Oregon St.
7. Washington over 10. Arizona St.

Thursday -
1. UCLA over 8. Cal
5. Arizona over 4. Oregon
6. Stanford over 3. USC
7. Washington over 2. Washington St.

Friday -
1. UCLA over 5. Arizona
7. Washington over 6. Stanford

Saturday - 1. UCLA over 7. Washington
Champion - UCLA

SEC
Thursday -
5w. Alabama over 4e. Kentucky
3w. Arkansas over 6e. South Carolina
3e. Tennessee over 6w. LSU
5e. Georgia over 4w. Auburn

Friday -
1w. Miss St. over 5w. Alabama
3w. Arkansas over 2e. Vanderbilt
3e. Tennessee over 2w. Mississippi
1e. Florida over 5e. Georgia

Saturday -
3w. Arkansas over 1w. Miss St.
1e. Florida over 3e. Tennessee

Sunday - 1e. Florida over 3w. Arkansas
Champion - Florida

BBL

New Tunes

2007-02-17T12:51:00.000-07:00

Well it has been forever since we've posted here and this isn't a great first post back, but figured I'd give it a shot with another look at some new bands. Here are some good ones to try out:

The Subways - Great new British band. I've found that I like almost all rock coming out of England, so this is no surprise. Rock n' Roll Queen is the first single and probably the best song, but the whole album is fantastic. Album is call Young for Eternity.

The Kooks - Another Brit band with a great first album "Inside In, Inside Out". Pretty much every song is great.

Teddybears - Kind of a weird Swedish group that writes the beats and then has a well-known singer sing the lyrics. You might have heard the single Punkrocker with Iggy Pop at some point. Check out "Soft Machine" if you get a chance and see if you like it.

The Black Keys - Straight out of Akron, OH, but has a bit of a British feel with its great guitar riffs. The have three albums out now that I know of and all of them are amazing. The Big Come Up, Rubber Factory, and Magic Potion are the albums.

The Sounds - Another Swedish group that has a female lead singer that is a bit lighter, but still a great rock group. I'm Dying to Say this to You is the name of the album. Tony the Beat is the song that introduced me to them and is very good.

Flyleaf - Hardest rocking group on this list and not typically what I enjoy, but for some reason it is an excellent group. It has another female lead singer that really lets it wail on many songs. Their self-titled album should be listened to if you can get it downloaded.

That is all I have for right now. Some of these groups I've been listening to for many months, but just haven't blogged about them and others I just discovered, but all are great. If you have any recommendations for me that you think I might like, bring them on. Especially any British groups.

BBL

You Piss Me Off Rococo Theater

2006-12-14T21:45:00.000-07:00

Let me preface this post by saying I love the Rococo Theater in Lincoln, Nebraska. It's a beautiful place and I almost decided to have my wedding there. The acoustics are great and it's a lot of fun to see a band or comedian there. That being said, who in the world is running this place? Lincoln is a town of about 230,000 and we get worse shows than Lawrence, Kansas. I point to you Rococo. You are the premiere venue in town, so let's look at your event schedule for the next two months:

December 16 WEDDING

December 31 "FIRE & ICE" NEW YEARS EVE CELEBRATION NEW YEARS EVE

January 13 RIMINGTON TROPHY PRESENTATION Cystic Fibrosis Foundation

January 21 Campus Life YFC

January 23 PRIVATE EVENT

February 3 ADDY AWARDS

February 8 Association of General Contractors Private Event

February 10 JACK'S MANNEQUIN CONCERT

February 24 PETE YORN CONCERT

Do you understand why this frustrates me Rococo? Who in the world are these people? I've looked up Pete Yorn and Jack's Mannequin and they seem intereting. Yet, I consider myself a relatively knowledgable music consumer and I haven't heard of these guys. The ONLY excuse for not having more concerts and comedians could be complaints from your upstairs neighbors. That would be tough to get around. But why aren't there more comedians? I've seen Louis Black and Stephen Wright there and they were both great. There was a big crowd and everyone went home happy. How in the world aren't you making money off these kind of shows? You used to bring in big time shows, what happened? Let's get it together. Here's what we need to do:

GET SOME GOOD SHOWS: There are plenty of bands who play Rococo-sized venues. Plenty of those bands have name recognition among college students and other Lincoln residents. We need groups people have heard of and could get excited about.

ADVERTISE: Seriously guys, having a mediocre lightboard above your door should not be your entire advertising budget. People really like TV and they'll listen to radio when they're in the car, you can use this to your advantage.

HAVE MORE SHOWS: There are a lot of people who have never been to the Rococo. Some don't even know that you guys are even open. There are such gaps between your shows that people forget about the Rococo, which is a shame.

Come on guys, you have a ton of potential down there, let's step it up and get something good done.

Don't become stupid, baseball

2006-10-19T21:31:00.000-06:00

Okay, I'll preface this post by admitting I have a vendetta against the Cardinals. They have knocked out my favorite team, the Padres, from the playoffs each of the last two years. However, now that they are headed to the World Series, it's not just that they beat the Padres that is making me angry.

The Cardinals finished 83-78 during the regular season. That's five games above .500. Now, they are four wins away from being the "best team" in baseball for the year. How their bullpen magically became awesome in two weeks after being absolutely atrocious down the stretch is beyond me.

There were twelve teams that had better records than St. Louis in the regular season. That's 40% of baseball that was better than them during over a 162 (0r 161 game, maybe that's why they have been so good, they're less tired!) game schedule. They won the worst division in baseball by 1.5 games. The collective win percentage of the NL Central was .467. The next worst division, the AL East, was .495, so it wasn't really even that close.

Now, one might say that I am hypocritical b/c I did not complain when the Padres were 82-80 as division champs of maybe the worst division ever in the 2005 N.L. West. That's true, but they also got swept in the playoffs. Would I have been happy had they gone to the World Series? Of course, but it would have been cheap.

I know it is often popular to cheer for the underdog, but the Cardinals have had far superior teams in the last two years and at best, will do at least as well as the much more talented 2004 team that got swept by the Red Sox.

Now, the regular season of course shouldn't dictate who always wins. There are so many variables that make a long season tick. The team with the best record in the regular season doesn't always win and they shouldn't necessarily. They could feed off a terrible division all year long or have a slightly better record than another team who may have had key injuries for most of the year. However, the Cardinals didn't really deserve any of these accolades. In a normal season they wouldn't have even made the playoffs. They were terrible in the second half of the season and did not play in a difficult division.

That's why the baseball Gods must smile upon the Tigers come Saturday. They were good almost all year. They did falter down the stretch, but seemingly due to perhaps their best offensive player and catalyst, Placido Polanco, being hurt. They played in a division with two other teams who played above .550 ball, including the defending world champions.

The idea behind "that's why they play the game" is what makes sports so exciting. But sometimes playing the games brings injustice to the game as a whole. Or maybe this is the baseball Gods revenge for 1985.

J.H. Naners

October is upon us!

2006-10-03T06:42:00.000-06:00

Hear that Bud? That sound is the Awesome Inc. train rolling back into town!

Alright people, the plan is to get this blog revived. It's been somewhat tough with Husker football starting (should just write about that) and other things in everybody's life, but I think it's mostly laziness. I've been blogging about my own personal stuff over on MySpace , but definitely been lacking here. Hell we're so lazy that we only managed to preview one conference of the NFL season!
To get things started, I'll give you all an old reliable: postseason predictions! The MLB playoffs are upon us starting today and they need some predicting. So here we go....

ALDS - Wild Card Detroit vs. AL East champ New York

The Tigers are the suprise team of the year, but were caught on the last day of the year by the redhot Twins. It is still an amazing story and Jim Leyland should be commended for his job with this team of mostly no-names. The Yankees on the other hand have all the stars with Jeter, Abreu, Giambi, Arod, Matsui, Sheffield, etc..., but their pitching is suspect after Wang and Mussina with the Big Unit questionable for the playoffs. The Tigers are a scrappy bunch, but I'm not sure those young arms can keep the Yanks offense down enough to win. And even if they do, I would not trust Todd Jones with a lead in the 9th despite his solid saves total this year.

Yankees in 3

ALDS - AL West champ Oakland vs. AL Central champ Minnesota

The A's have kind of flown under the radar out west as they have steadily rolled along and winning their division rather easily. They've got the very good pitching, probably the best in the playoffs if Harden is healthy, and will have to rely on that in this series. Zito, Harden, and Haren will need to keep the Twins down to allow the suspect A's offense a chance to get some runs on the board. Can Frank Thomas continue his torrid hitting into the postseason where he has disappeared many other times? The Twins have been on fire for months now after starting out terribly. They have the AL batting champ in Joe Mauer, AL MVP candidate Justin Morneau, and AL Cy Young lock Johan Santana, so things are looking mighty good in the Twin Cities. I question the offense some outside of Mauer and Morneau, but they seem to have about 20 guys who all hit over .300 sans power that score just enough to win. With Santana being able to start twice, the Twins will prevail in a tight one.

Twins in 5

NLDS - NL Central champs St. Louis vs. NL West champs San Diego

Only a handful of teams have had a worst record than STL and still made the playoffs (one being SD last year), so things do not look pretty on the surface for this team heading to Petco. The pitching staff is in shambles, the offense is Pujols only, and Tony LaRussa always seems to find a way to underachieve in the playoffs. The Padres will have a healthy Jake Peavy this year (although he's been worse than normal), a slightly better offense than last year's, and Cy Young candidate Trevor Hoffman in the bullpen. All signs point to SD taking this one with ease on paper, but I'm not so sure. I'm sure being a Cardinals fan is affecting this prediction, but having Carp available for two starts and the best hitter in baseball gives me a lot of hope.

Cardinals in 4 or 5 depending on when Carpenter makes his second start.

NLDS - NL Wild Card Los Angeles vs. NL East champs New York

The Dodgers have been wild this year. Solid early, Cardinal-like after the all-star break, and then extra hot down the stretch. They've got a good rotation, clutch hitting, and an excellent bullpen. The Mets have been the best team in the NL most of the season and come into the playoffs with that title, but without Pedro Martinez for the whole postseason it will not be a run away to the World Series. The offense is fantastic, the bullpen is solid with Billy Wagner, but I'm not sure how much you can depend on Glavine, Trachsel, and El Duque to carry you on the mound. I think they'll be just good enough thanks to Reyes, Delgado, Beltran, and Wright killing the ball.

Mets in 4

Then to finish off the predictions I'll go with the following:

ALCS

Twins over Yankees in 7 - Santana gets three starts and Morneau goes crazy on the righty dominated NY pitching staff.

NLCS

Mets over Cardinals in 5 - Carp will be spent from the NLDS and Jeff Weaver and others will be torched by the Mets vast array of lefties in their lineup. If the NL was any better, the Mets would have more trouble than I'm predicting.

World Series
Twins over Mets in 6 - The Metrodome will be rocking a la 1987 and 1991 and the Twins will win it all for Kirby Puckett as Torii Hunter robs David Wright of a homer in Game 6 to secure the title. Jack Morris, Kent Hrbek, Tom Brunansky, Gary Gaetti and others will all be on hand to celebrate.
Side prediction - Prince sings the National Anthem in Game 1.

It should be exciting!!
BBL

Going to Football Games Sucks According to Dirty Laundry

2006-09-09T15:21:00.000-06:00

There's a guy who writes a blog called "Dirty Laundry." For some unholy reason the good people at Deadspin.com let him speak for all Nebraska fans despite the fact that his finger is farther off the pulse of Husker Nation than Rhett Bomar is from the Heisman. Let's review his latest attempt at reporting the situation in Lincoln.

-"It is much more enjoyable to watch a football game on television than in person." Really? You must be a pretty big football fan to say something like that. Why tailgate and then enter the stadium to cheer on your team with your fellow fans when you can watch it in your basement drinking warm Beast Light with your three cats?

-"The student section, which is still prominent in places like South Bend and definitely down at Texas A & M, just aint what she used to be. The University has priced out most students from even having a chance at going to a game." There is a waiting list to get student tickets. The students were as loud at the first game of the season as I've ever heard them.

-"No matter how many times you hear it, Nebraska fans are NOT the most friendly and courteous in all of college football. In fact, they're not friendly to the opposition at all. The only time they even give that "standing ovation" to the opposing team is when they annihilate them. Think they gave Texas Tech one of those standing O's last year? Ask Kansas State fans about how they were treated in 2003. " Yes, we did give the Raiders a standing O last year, because it was a great game and that's what we do. You would probably know that, but it's so much more fun watching the game on TV you probably weren't at the game. The terrible terrible 2003 Kansas State game resulted in 75,000 very depressed Husker fans who weren't talking shit to anyone. On the few occasions where a Husker fans treats a visitor badly other Nebraska fans correct him, or apologize for him.

There are lots of great places to watch a college football games. And I'm not saying that Nebraska can match the intensity of an SEC night game, the tradition of Notre Dame, or the rivalry of Ohio State/Michigan, but if you'd rather watch Nebraska play Texas on TV later this year than being at Memorial Stadium in person, it's your loss.

2006 NFL Preview

2006-09-06T22:47:00.000-06:00

I was right on in my baseball preview, probably the only expert to predict the Tigers as the best team in MLB, so my NFL preview has been much anticipated. Well, seeing as we're less than 18 hours until kickoff, here are my NFL Picks.

AFC-We'll start with the boring conference.

AFC WEST
Chargers 11-5: They should have made the playoffs last year if not for a brutal schedule. This year they get TN, SF, BUFF, and CLE. Philip Rivers will be fine and they will get a first round bye.
Broncos 10-6: Every year they are favored to win the division and possibly go to the Super Bowl. Their quarterback is Jake Plummer. Their best wideout barely has a knee. Their second best wideout is 78 years old. They'll be leaning on the D to finish this high.
Chiefs 9-7: I worry about the loss of Willie Roaf on that line. Don't fool yourself, their O-line is why they could always run the ball, not the backs. I always thought Herm Edwards was a good coach, now we'll see if I was right or all the dumb Jets fans were right.
Raiders 3-13: Aaron Brooks is terrible, you heard it here first. Art Shell got fired for a reason, he couldn't get to the Super Bowl with the greatest Tecmo Bowl team ever (if only they had Christian Okoye)

AFC SOUTH
Colts 13-3: The same as last year but without Edge. RBs can be replaced. I don't care how many "Top 5 Reasons you Can't Blame Peyton Manning for Never Winning the Big Game" but this guy seriously never wins the big game.
Jaquars 10-6: A solid team that will win a bunch of games in the last seconds, as usual. It will be interesting to see if Leftwich steps up or if Gerrard takes his job.
Texans 5-11: They were a trendy pick last year, but that lasted as long as snap bracelets. I think they'll be better this year, but not as good as they would have been if they had Reggie Bush. Oh well, at least they have Dominick Dav.......oh shit.
Titans 4-12: Jeff Fischer is the man. I feel like if he was on a gold mining trip in Alaska he would be awesome, but when you have the worst QB in the NFL you won't strike it rich. Kerry Collins is really bad.

AFC NORTH
Bengals 12-4: They are good. I love big Sam Adams clogging up the middle for an improving defense.
Steelers 9-7: Seems like too much is going wrong. Very Eagles-esque from last year, Hopefully they can overcome all the bad offseason karma.
Ravens 8-8: They are the definition of a mediocre team. A burned out QB, a defense that is very good but not dominant enough. Remember when they won a SB with Qudry Ismael as their best WR?
Browns4-12: Poor, poor Romeo Crennel. He looks like a great coach just holding this mess together. Losing LaCharles and the #2 center is a big blow. Hopefully they get a mature performance from Charlie Frye and great leadership from Willie McGinest.

AFC EAST
Patriots 12-4: Did they outsmart themselves in their latest veteran purge? Losing Vinitieri, McGinest and Branch could be too much, but I'll believe in Brady and Coach Hoodie until further notice.
Dolphins 11-5: An easy schedule will guarantee them a good season. How does Nick Saban do an awesome job in the NFL and other college guys fail miserably?
NY Jets 4-12: Ugh...the most boring team in the NFL. Watching their offense will be worse than sitting through the drivel that is Grey's Anatomy and that girl who never changes her facial expression.
Buffalo Bills 4-12: Really? Dick Jauron? Would he even be in the NFL if the Bears didn't have that lucky season a few years ago where Mike Brown won 7 games in overtime?

DIVISION WINNERS: Chargers, Colts, Bengals, Patriots WILD CARD: Jaguars, Dolphins

AFC Championship: Chargers v. Jaguars: I love the Chargers offense and opportunistic defense. The Jags will have a suffocating defense and a mistake free offense.

AFC Champion: Chargers. Yes, they are coached by the venerable Marty Schottenheimer, but I think this is their year. They had some really bad luck last year, and even though Rivers is a new QB he's experienced in the system which should make him comfortable enough to win.

By the way, isn't it weird how awesome defensive coordinators go to teams to be head coaches and they have great defenses and terrible defenses? (Dungy, Lewis etc.) And the opposite happens also (Billick) How does this happen?

The NFC Tomorrow

Awesome Inc. Remembers

2006-08-07T01:10:00.000-06:00

Since it has been almost a month since our last post here, it's about time we stepped up. While we formulate some post topic ideas, we hope you enjoy a look back at one of the greatest trips in Awesome Inc. history. JH Naners (Joe), JT (Jamie), NW (Nick), and myself (BBL) took to the road for two weeks three years ago and here is what transpired. This is the first installment of four.

Enjoy!

BBL

Day 1 (June 18^th, 2003) - The first day of what would end up being two week trek around the Great Lakes and Northeast watching baseball began very early. The idea was to leave at 6 am so we could arrive in Milwaukee in plenty of time for the Miller Brewery Tour. The Honda Hybrid was gassed up and the trunk was loaded to the max, but Nick was not there. The members of the 2131 (Jamie, Joe, and myself) were all ready to roll, but we had to wait. The trip ended up only being delayed by 20 minutes, but knowing Nick we were all worried that it could have been a lot longer. Timeliness isn't one of his strengths.

After wedging his bag into the last remaining open corner of the trunk we were off...for 3 minutes. Having forgotten if we had locked the doors to the house we had to turn around and pulled into a driveway that had a huge pothole. The Hybrid took a hit, but was unscathed. This wasn't the best way to start the trip, but turned out to be one of only a few mishaps. After checking the doors we were officially on the road.

We found out that Nick's reason for being late was not getting any sleep after talking to his friend Patty the whole night. Smart move right there! It's always a great idea to start a two-week roadtrip on no sleep. For proof of no sleep here's a picture:

After making very good time we arrived at our hotel in Milwaukee at 2 pm. The first of many Priceline hotel purchases turned out to be very good. Although it wasn't near the ballpark, it was in a good location for our trip down to Chicago the next day. Everybody was pretty excited by now. After checking in, a task we would grow to know very well by the end of the trip, we hopped back into the car. Next Stop: Miller Brewery Tour.

The Miller Brewery is laid out over many big buildings called the Miller Valley and is pretty scenic when you drive through it down the main road.

The old Plank Road House is the first thing you see and looks very historic.

We hit up the Gift Shop and got our complimentary tickets. The tour began with a brief movie about Miller featuring the unmistakable voice of the Miller High Life commercials. After the infomercial we headed outside and were hit in the face by the smell of hops. I was overwhelmed by the smell. The highlight of the tour was seeing the warehouse. America drinks a lot of beer!

We finished the tour with beer samples and writing postcards to ourselves taking advantage of Miller's generous offer of free postage. My love of beer is shown here:

Jamie, Joe, and Nick took advantage of the fine products in the gift shop on our way out and on to Miller Park.

At Miller Park, it was six bucks to park and the lot was pretty full of tailgaters even though the Brewers were off to another poor start and the game was still a couple hours from starting. The smell of brats filled the air. After we grabbed our cheap $10 bleacher seats, we walked around the stadium since the gates weren't open yet.

There wasn't a whole lot to see around the stadium, but there were a couple points of interest. The original home plate of County Stadium with a tribute to the old Milwaukee Braves is next to a junior baseball field and a memorial to the three construction workers who died when a crane fell during construction of Miller Park is just outside the main entrance. While waiting for the gates to open we saw a credit card offer with the gift being a Brewers stocking cap. This is the first of many credit card signups on the trip.

The gates opened and we headed in to check out the stadium. The roof was closed unfortunately, so the atmosphere was a bit lacking from the start. Jamie and I immediately went to the concession stand for brats, a Milwaukee staple. A little special sauce and sauerkraut made it extra good. Joe partook in an Italian sausage later on in the game. During batting practice we went out to our Bleacher seats in left field and met a very interesting character. Some guy in a Marlins hat, at a game between the Brewers and Cardinals, ended up next to us some how and began talking about a load of different topics. Batting practice was his first area of expertise. He shared with us the ins and outs of where to be for each batter and how to snag the balls away from small children. The four baseballs he showed us were proof of his successful technique. After a few homers flew our way and watching this guy move so gracefully after them, we decided to move to the next section over. Marlins guy managed to find us again though and proceeded to tell us how to take full advantage of the Kohl's $5 off coupon every fan received at the game. He first told us how you can get a ton of them by digging in the trash. Then the trick was to buy socks or other items just over $5, leave out one door, come in the other door (obviously fooling everybody), and repeating the process until all coupons had been exhausted. An absolutely brilliant piece of information that we were lucky enough to hear. Here's a pic of me showing my appreciation of his wisdom:

After the excitement of batting practice and another brat for Jamie and me, the game was almost underway. Time flies when you are listening to a crazy guy and eating brats. The game itself was rather uneventful with the Cardinals rolling to an easy 9-1 win with the highlights being an Eduardo Perez homer for the Cards and a "Hard-hitting" Eddie Perez homer for the Brewers. Glendon Rusch had some great stuff for the Brewers, but still managed to give up 8 runs in one plus innings pitched.

http://baseball-almanac.com/box-scores/boxscore.php?boxid=200306180ML4

After filling out another credit card form for a Brewers t-shirt to go along with our stocking caps, we moved around to other seats and ended up lying down on the metal bleachers in right field. Nick fell asleep again, while I went up to experience the stadium from the last row in the upper deck. It was quite the view from that high up.

Day one came to a close after arriving back at the hotel and a quick trip to the nearby gas station for some food. Arizona Iced Teas were on sale and Joe and I took advantage of that sweet deal. Was a good first day, but many more memorable days would be upcoming.

Day 2 (June 19, 2003) - The next day brought even more good times. After waking up a little earlier, we grabbed breakfast at a nearby Perkins. After the delicious and filling meal it was time to hit the road to Chicago. It was a quick hour and a half trip south to our hotel on the Chicago River. The Hyatt Regency was awesome! Free internet allowed us to download the pictures we had taken and check up on fantasy baseball of course. We checked in early and headed straight for the El. The Red Line took us right to US Cellular Field for the White Sox game against the Red Sox. We grabbed the cheapest tickets available ($14), a credit card offer t-shirt, and started the trek to the upper deck. The top of the pedestrian ramp did provide a great view of the Chicago Skyline:

We were lucky, or maybe unlucky, enough to attend the game on dollar dog day. I had a couple of these very salty franks only because they were so cheap and I wish I hadn't. The game itself was pretty good. The Red Sox were held to one hit for nine innings, but managed to score 3 runs on that one hit. The game went to extra innings tied at three where Billy Koch gave up the winning run in the tenth. http://baseball-almanac.com/box-scores/boxscore.php?boxid=200306190CHA

After the game we headed back downtown for some deep dish pizza. After regrouping in our hotel, we headed out for the pizza, but as we reached the hotel lobby we noticed a small entourage by a limo outside. As the group moved inside we noticed it was none other than Don King! He moved quickly, but we did manage to get a picture.

After the Don King experience we walked across the river and to Pizzeria Uno, the birthplace of deep dish pizza. We put in our order while we waited for a table. The place is in an old basement type room that is pretty unique. The pizza was pretty good, but the crust was extremely hard. It might have been better had I not had those dollar dogs. We took to the streets after the pizza and walked the Magnificant Mile to Lake Michigan. It was freezing cold for it being the middle of June and didn't make the time on the beach very enjoyable.

A stroll past the bars at Rush and Division was next and then we got back on the subway. After riding that around for a while and getting on a couple of wrong trains we finally ended up at the Sears Tower. We had to hustle to get on the last trip up to the observation deck for the night. It was well worth the $10 ticket to see the city and surrounding areas at night. It was a fantastic view and a great way to end a very full day two. (Side note: We included the current Maxim cover in some of these pictures because we thought about entering the magazine's road trip contest. After seeing that the "Fabulous Prizes" were a tent and other camping supplies we passed on even entering.)

Day 3 (June 20, 2003) - A long day starts with checking out from our excellent hotel and jumping on the subway to Wrigley Field. We were lucky enough to get free tickets in the famous bleachers for the Crosstown Classic against the White Sox. We got there early and took in the sunny day while the White Sox took batting practice.

We grabbed third row seats in right center field and nearly caught a couple BP homers. The game itself wasn't terribly interesting although the Sox did score six in the first on their way to a 12-3 win.
http://baseball-almanac.com/box-scores/boxscore.php?boxid=200306200CHN.

Eddie Vedder singing the 7th inning stretch was pretty cool, but the real craziness was watching the fans in the bleachers. Loads of drunken guys making idiotic comments, lots of swearing, not nearly enough shirts being worn, and one woman who decided it was spring break and started flashing for the camera phones. The woman was going to be thrown out by one of the ushers, Stanley, but the pleading from the drunken guys changed Stanley's mind. Even with the sunburn and stupid fans in the bleachers it was a fun time experiencing one of the historic ballparks from a new vantage point.

After the game, we needed some grub before hitting the road and wanted to try another pizza place. We hit up Gino's East and it was much better than Pizzeria Uno. The walls were covered with written messages and the place was just a cool general.

The pizza was outstanding since they figured out a way to make the crust much softer than Uno's. After eating, we got on the road to Toledo. Along the way we made a quick stop in South Bend to see the Notre Dame campus. It wasn't as impressive at night, but was still cool to see and take some pictures.

The campus stop only took an hour and then we got back on the road. After a long day, we arrived in Toledo at 1:30 am and crashed into bed right away.

MLB midseason review

2006-07-08T15:51:00.000-06:00

Alright, we are pretty much at the half way point of the season, so I figured I'd analyze my preseason predictions and give updated projections for the rest of the way.

AL East

1. Boston Red Sox- So far, so good. As I predicted, the addition of Loretta, Beckett, and an improved defense (set a record for most games without an error) makes Boston the strongest team in the AL East. What I didn't predict, Jonathan Papelbon being some kind of super freak who never gives up runs. I still think they will win the division, although who knows what will happen with Toronto and the Yankees by the trade deadline.

2. New York Yankees- The Yankees pitching isn't that good and Aaron Small isn't miraculously 9-0 again. However, you have to be somewhat impressed with how they are keeping relative pace with Boston. Two of the main offensive cogs (Matsui and Sheffield) are missing significant time and there are for once no names in the lineup. Add the fact that Unit usually gets better in the 2nd half and a trade for another solid outfielder could be in the works and they will be there right until the end. However, the wild card is not coming out of this division, so they better do everything right or they will be out of the playoffs, which will be strange and somewhat refreshing.

3. Toronto Blue Jays- This team is clearly improved with their offseason additions and B.J. Ryan has proved to be worth the hefty contract. A.J. Burnett has not. Everyone knew they overpaid for this guy, but they needed to so they could get him. There are rumors of the Jays making another significant addition by the trading deadline. They probably need to if they want a chance to win this division. The good news is several of their young prospects have shown good promise.

4. Baltimore Orioles- To be honest, I had to look in the standings to even see where the Orioles were. To me they are that insignificant. I was correct on Ramon Hernandez being a solid addition, but Leo Mazzone has let me down. This pitching staff is still less than adequate and Daniel Cabrera has about a 3:1 ball to strike ratio it seems. Miguel Tejada is still good, but if I was Baltimore I would trade him and rebuild to get some decent pitching prospects b/c this team is going nowhere.

5. Tampa Bay Devil Rays- I said before the season I wanted to put them in 4th and as we speak they are tied for 4th! Not sure why, but I have a fondness for this team. They have so much young talent on offense, it's ridiculous. The new ownership seems to be more dedicated to competing so I hope they can keep most of the nucleus in tact. Kazmir is phenominal and truly would have made the Mets a scary, scary team this year, but instead Victor Zambrano got hurt and the D'rays got an all-star in his early 20s. If they can add a solid starter and get a bullpen that isn't embarrassingly horrible, they could be a force to be reckoned with next season.

Division recap- Nailed the standings, and with the exception of now saying the D'rays will finish in fourth, I think everything else will stay the same.

AL Central

1. Detroit Tigers- Okay, my prediction perfection ends here, but honestly who knew? They are pretty much a carbon copy of the 2005 White Sox. Nobody thought they'd be this good, but they are legit. If they can add a solid veteran to the lineup, they really could go all the way.

2. Chicago White Sox- I said it at the beginning and I'll say it again- How could you not pick them to win it all? I still believe they are the best team in baseball despite Jon Garland realizing he's Jon Garland. The rotation isn't doing as well as last year, but Jim Thome's domination along with career years from Jermaine Dye and Joe Crede have this lineup right up there with the Yankees and Red Sox. Bobby Jenks is still dominant and now they have the experience of knowing what it takes to win.

3. Minnesota Twins- You've got to respect what they do each year. Working on a very modest payroll, they are once again proving formidable foes. As I predicted, Justin Morneau is carrying the offense along with Joe I never make an out Mauer. Francisco Liriano is pretty much Johan Santana II. If this team played in any other division, they'd have a legitimate shot at winning it, but alas, they don't.

4. Cleveland Indians- What the hell happened? Turns out Paul Byrd is not much more solid that he gets credit for. J.T. was right that this pitching staff is not good enough to get it done (though they haven't given up that many more runs than the White Sox). The offense is certainly doing its part thanks mostly to Travis Hafner being a grand slam machine.

5. Kansas City Royals- They are God awful and still are not exciting, but at least they don't have the worst record in baseball! They have been quite competitive the last month and a half after an embarrassingly terrible start to the year.

Division recap- I'd say the only change from now to the end of the year in the standings is the White Sox winning the division, but the Tigers taking home the wild card.

AL West

1. Oakland A's- So far I'm right on this, but I didn't think it would be this close of a division. Still, the A's will have their patented 15-20 game win streak most likely and end up pulling this division out. Perhaps Rich Harden can be the catalyst of that. Frank Thomas has overtaken Barry Bonds as the best old, bastardly home run hitter in the bay area.

2. Texas Rangers- Okay, I predicted they'd finish last in the division and for most of the first half they were in 1st, but they are only three games out of last so I still feel pretty good about my prediction considering everything. As I predicted, Coco Cordero would fall off and he has, but fortunately they have Akinori Otsuka delivery service to pick him up. Mark Teixeira has been a huge disappointment. I don't really get that at all. I'm pretty sure he isn't a steroids guy, so this dropoff is strange. He is hitting a lot of doubles I think, so perhaps he will find his stroke. Also, a personal thank you to Rangers management for allowing us to get Chris Young. Suckers.

3. Seattle Mariners- Probably my preseason pick that took the most balls was me putting Seattle at 2nd place. The tend to be underachievers and they actually still have a chance to prove me right. Not sure how considering Richie Sexson is hitting in the .220s, Adrian Beltre isn't really bouncing back, Eddie Guardado went frm being a top echelon closer to sucking humongous balls in one offseason, and Felix Hernandez has had a disappointing sophomore campaign. Good thing Ichiro still likes hitting .350.

4. LAAAngelsAAAAA- Their lineup has produced the fourth fewest runs in the AL, so I think my prediction was pretty accurate for them. However, they are rumoured to get just about every single big name big bat so they probably will be adding one big stick to their lineup. They have a chance to win the division or finish in last place, just like pretty much everyone in the division except Oakland.

Division recap- The 2005 NL West of 2006, the AL is a crap shoot with a bunch of mediocre teams that don't have much of a chance for postseason damage.

NL East

1. New York Mets- The only team at the break that appear to have the division sewn up barring an epic collapse. Pedro's poor June and now injury has to be a huge cause for concern b/c this team is not solid in pitching at all. The lineup has held up their end of the bargain with Jose Reyes stealing a base every time he doesn't hit a homerun or triple and David Wright continuing to blossom into one of, if not the best all around young hitter in baseball. Carlos Beltran has also returned to his 2004 postseason form. Look for Omar Minaya to make a move as this team will now officially jump into the Yankees-Red Sox ludicrous payroll category and buy whatever they need to win.

2. The Florida Marlins- What the deuce? This isn't supposed to be right. The surprise contributers do not suck after all it turns out. Perhaps they have found the magic formula for small budget teams. Win a world series once every five to ten years then sell every freaking good player and just stash away young talent. Joe Girardi should automatically win NL manager of the year since this team will apparently not only not lose 100 games, but may not finish last in the division either.

3. Philadelphia Phillies- With the exception of Tom Gordon telling me to go to hell, I pretty much nailed this one on the head. Although, the lineup isn't as explosive as I thought they had potential to be. If Abreu is traded and the team gives up on the season, they could finish at or near the bottom of the division.

4. Atlanta Braves- Huzzah! It all comes crumbling down. Mazzone hasn't cured what ails Baltimore, but this staff is certainly missing him. They are average and their bullpen is indeed quite poor. It's about time. Let's hope they finish here for 14 straight years.

5. Washington Nationals- Considering Livan Hernandez is finally showing effects of throwing 130 pitches every outing for the last few years, this team is not too bad. Ryan Zimmerman is like a junior David Ortiz when it comes to clutch hitting and Alfonso Soriano has not dropped off playing in RFK. As expected, there has been some dropoff from last year's stellar first half, but this team isn't missing too many pieces from having a chance to be competitive. They just have to hope the Mets don't make spending mistakes like the Yankees have.

Division recap- Well, I guess the interesting thing will be seeing how 2 through 5 finish since it's the Mets' division already.

NL Central

1. St. Louis Cardinals- They are still the best team in this division, but their window of opportunity for a World Series has probably closed for a little while. Aside from Pujols, their lineup is unremarkable and with Mark Mulder's implosion, the staff is the same. Acquiring a big time player by the trade deadline could still give this team a slight chance to win the pennant, but only to be crushed by the AL foe.

2. Cincinnati Reds- Guess I have a little egg on my face after this one, but much like the Tigers, this came out of nowhere. The only difference....this team is a fraud. I expect a huge second half dropoff, and I believe they will finish fourth now.

3. Milwaukee Brewers- Ben Sheets has not stayed healthy which is the primary reason this team is not the Cincinnati Reds of the first half, but they have Chris Capuano who has positioned them to still make a run for the wild card and if everything clicks an outside shot at the division title.

4. Houston Astros- This team did overachieve last year as this year's club is proving. Andy Pettitte has regressed quite a bit and Brad Lidge must have eaten a few meals with Eddie Guardado during the offseason b/c he has gone from dominant to still scary, but very unpredictable. Again, this division has lots of parity, so a strong second half could still mean a playoff birth.

5. Chicago Cubs- Mark Prior and Kerry Wood have not stayed healthy. Shocking. Unfortunately, neither has Derrek Lee and the rest of the lineup needs him there to maximize itself and have any opportunity of being adequate enough to compete. Jacque Jones has been a nice surprise, but he's probably gone by July 31st.

6. Pittsburgh Pirates- Wow, these guys suck. Oliver Perez still may have buckets of talent, but apparently there are lots of holes throughout the buckets it seems. This team looks to be a long way from competing still, which is disappointing considering their past glory and not filling up that beautiful stadium.

Division recap- This one, like many others is wiiiide open. I think this one particularly could have an exciting finish. I expect the Cardinals to pull it out, but I think it could be an excellent three team finish.

NL West

1. Your San Diego Padres!- I'm not sure how this team is in first place, but I'll take it. The offense is pretty atrocious yet again. The pitching staff is doing remarkable things considering Shawn Estes pitched about five innings and Woody Williams was out for a significant amount of time. Props to Clay Hensley as well as those in the bullpen who are still giving Trevor Hoffman the chance to dominate the 9th inning. Adrian Gonzalez has impressed me, but we probably need someone to hit better than .300 to lead the team. Thank God Ryan Klesko's ass and his salary will be gone and Chan Ho will free up about $24 million between the two. The future could be bright in years to come.

2. Los Angeles Dodgers- This team has a lot of young talent and will probably be a very solid team for the next several years, but they aren't complete/experienced enough to be dominating yet. Nomar appears to be back, which could be huge down the stretch.

3. Colorado Rockies- This team also has a lot of young talent and are doing some voodoo, humidity trick with the balls so their pitching staff now seems respectable. If they can add a solid veteran via trade, they could win the division.

4. San Francisco Giants- Barry is now mediocre as are the Giants, but this division is wide open and again if they add a decent player they could be where they need to be in the end. Ray Durham is heating up and if Randy Winn breaks out in the 2nd half, which he likes to do, the Giants could prove my preseason prediction right.

5. Arizona Diamondbacks- Well, you had some people scratching their heads for awhile, but it looks as though you're not really that good. Brandon Webb has had a career year so far with the help of that improved infield defense, but the snakes just aren't that good.

Division recap- Who knows. I'd say the trade deadline could decide this division. Gut feeling: The Dodgers pull it out.

Revised playoff predictions:

A.L.- Boston over Detroit
Chicago Sox over Oakland

Boston over Chicago Sox

N.L.- Mets over Houston
Dodgers over Cardinals

Mets over Dodgers

World Series- Boston over Mets- sweet revenge for Buckner

A.L. Mvp- David Ortiz
A.L. Cy Young- Jonathan Papelbon

N.L. Mvp- Albert Pujols
N.L. Cy Young- Brad Penny

J.H. Naners

Let's Have a Dialogue Europe

2006-06-30T18:37:00.001-06:00

This has been bugging me for quite a while. One of my fellow writers posted an entry about The Ongoing War On Christmas last December. Now, a majority of our traffic goes through this post, why? you ask, two words, GAY RUGBY. At least I think it's gay rugby. I understand what is going on in the above picture about as much as I understand the rules of Rugby. (What the hell is a 'try' and what's the deal with the guys with the white jackets and all the pointing?) I do understand that the Shetland Islands are north of England and west of Norway, and I think that's where these guys are. So I have a few questions. First of all, isn't a little cold up there to be shirtless? Secondly, with all those funny horses that are the size of dogs, how do you have time to be out playing rugby and cavorting in bars if you can just go outside and see one of those little guys. Thirdly, I just don't understand why you all want to see this picture so bad. Looks to me like a bunch of guys with no shirts at a bar. Finally I really can't believe that those are rugby players. Those guys are more flabby and pasty than Prince Charles on an ice cream binge at the North Pole.
So if you all can explain this odd fascination, I would be glad to listen.

Sincerely,

America

Guaranteed Money Making Venture

2006-06-30T17:30:00.000-06:00

Alright, hear me out on this. I know the readers of this blog have a little bit of that green on their hands. We cater to a classy, sophisticated, business savvy crowd that has some dispensable cash. Well if you want to turn that small nest egg into millions, get in on the ground floor of my new business. Here's my plan. Make a list of the top five things people love.........got it? Okay now pick the two things in that list that go most natuarally together.....and there's your money making machine, JT's Knife and Christmas Outlet. I swear everyday I want to cut something and celebrate the birth of Jesus, finally I can do both with only one stop. Suck on that Walmart!!! I figure the clientel will be mostly old women, hunters, and hipsters who want to soak in the irony, otherwise known as the holy trinity of marketing demographics. So all I'm going to need is a couple grand from everyone to get this bad boy started. So just mail it to the Awesome Inc. office and you'll be getting your cash back quick.

Lincoln-Omaha SAT analogy answer key

2006-06-30T17:05:00.000-06:00

It's no secret that we here at the Inc. do not like Omaha. I already knew Omaha sucked and then the black hole abyss went and had my car window broken and the faceplate of my cd player stolen while parked near Rosenblatt Stadium for the College World Series. These jokers (no doubt life long Omaha natives) didn't bother to steal the purse in the trunk of the car, the cds in the car, the actual cd player, or the baseball glove (I call him Mr. Magic). Nope, they just decided to break into my crappy Cavalier and steal the faceplate of a cd player of a brand that no longer even exists. Seriously, who the hell steals cd players anymore? I don't have a subwoofer or anything cool.

So anyway, I was able to get my hand on the answers to the Lincoln to Omaha SAT style analogies and have posted some fo them here.

For example of course a regular example may be:

Dog is to cat as puppy is to kitty or Dog : Cat = Puppy : Kitten

Lincoln : Omaha = Jewel's boobs : Jewel's teeth

Lincoln : Omaha = The Office : Two and a Half Men

Lincoln : Omaha = Baseball : Soccer

Lincoln : Omaha = Having sex with two hot twins : Having sex with your twin sister

Lincoln : Omaha = Batman Begins : Batman and Robin

Lincoln : Omaha = Manhattan, NY : Manhattan, KS

Lincoln : Omaha = Brian Conklin : Jared Homan

Lincoln : Omaha = Red Licorice : Black Licorice

Lincoln : Omaha = Jim Gaffigan : The Blue Collar Comedy Tour

Lincoln : Omaha = Never having my car broken into in 6 years : Having your car broken into about 20% of time you go to this god forsaken place.

So there you have it. Omaha continues to suck giant balls while Lincoln continues to be a bastion of greatness.

Have fun with my outdated faceplate you bastards.

J.H. Naners

Those are Conservative Values I can Get Behind

2006-06-30T13:50:00.000-06:00

Bob Corker is a Republican from Tennessee. He believes in conservative values and positive results. His dedication to "hard work and service" were ingrained early and he learned the "value of a dollar." (Presumably that is one dollar.) His key issues are: the 2nd Amendment (he loves well-regulated militias), Taxes, the Military, security, jobs, faith and family and the justice system. He is married to Elizabeth and they have two daughters, Emily and Julia. The Corkers have worked hard to pass their values on to the daughters.

Oh, and he also values girls making out.

Julie Corker

Apparently there is a Big Soccer Tournament

2006-06-24T13:51:00.000-06:00

There's an old saying in my neck of the woods, goes something like this: "Rugby is a beastly game played by gentlemen, soccer is a gentlemanly game played by beasts, and football is a beastly game played by beasts." I've been watching the World Cup and it makes me want to change the aforementioned statement to soccer is a boring game played by gigantic pussies. Everytime these guys get touched they go down in a heap like they just got shot. I understand trying to buy a call, it happens in the toughest of sports, even hockey. But other sports have at least a measure of pride. These soccer guys just go down, and nobody calls them out as little bitches.

The saddest thing about this whole Cupo de Mundo is that the flopping, diving and writhing is not the worst part. The worst part is the people who say to me, you don't understand the game, the beauty and passion, you just don't get it. I say to them, screw you guys, you must not have followed the most powerful team in the history of Lincoln YMCA soccer, the Bears. We were so tough that we didn't even have a midfielder, we called him the Monster Man. You know what, we didn't need STRETCHERS to get us off the field. These guys grimace and cry, some little Euro helpers come out with a stretcher, carry them off, and then they come back on the field a minute later, ridiculous.

So here is what I propose, if you get carried off on a stretcher you can't come back in. If you lie in the field for more than one minute you have to sit out for ten minutes. Now let's stop all this diving garbage and concentrate on what really matters, baseball season and the approacing specter of Husker football.

Oh Canada!

2006-06-10T18:31:00.000-06:00

So I'm sitting here watching the Stanley Cup Game 3 (me and about 100 other Americans I think) and it re-established a belief I've had for a while now: Canada is awesome! The fans in Edmonton assisted in singing the "Star-Spangled Banner" and then handled "Oh Canada" all by themselves. I still had chills 20 minutes later and it was probably even better in person. Here are some other reasons why Canada rocks:

1. Great Cities - Every city I've been to in Canada is really clean, friendly, and picturesque. Victoria with it's botanical gardens and waterfront area. Vancouver with it's parks and mountain views. Toronto is amazingly clean and just a fun, vibrant city. Ottawa has some incredible government buildings and, guess what, it's clean, too. Montreal is probably the most historic city with it's old town area and French influence. I'm sure there are some bad cities in Canada, but I haven't run into one yet.

2. Niagara Falls - Yes part of the Falls is in the US, but the cooler side is in Canada. The town is a bit touristy, but it's still a beautiful place and the Journey Behind the Falls is an incredible experience.

3. Hockey - The Canadian sport is the best spectator sport in the world. They love their hockey like crazy and kudos to them for that. The Hockey Hall of Fame is in Toronto, where you can actually touch the Stanley Cup! How awesome is that?!?

4. Comedy - Some of the greatest comedians and comedic actors have come from Canada, so much love to our northern neighbors for that. Mike Myers, Jim Carrey, John Candy, Martin Short, Norm MacDonald, Tom Green, Dan Aykroyd, Phil Hartman, Leslie Nielson, and on and on. SCTV and The Kids in the Hall are two of the great comedies that have come from Canada. SNL creator Lorne Michaels is also from the land of the maple leaf.

5. Sprite Ice - Some might be wondering how a soft drink could be such a big deal, but you must realize that Sprite Ice is not only delicious, it is only available in Canada. I am not sure if it is still on sale up north, but it definitely was during my trip to Toronto. A lasting impact to be sure!

6. Roots Gear - It swept the Olympic community during the 1998 Winter Games b/c of its great look on the Canadian athletes and now the US team has hired the Canadian company to do their clothing.

Some may disagree with these reasons and have some of their own, so hopefully they share those reasons. Some may think Canada sucks, but hopefully they realize their mistake before posting on here.

BBL

David Bowie Has an Awesome Package

2006-05-30T18:57:00.000-06:00

That's evidently what Muppet Master and director of "Labyrinth" Jim Henson wants you to notice. If you've never seen this film (shame on you) it follows the bitchy teenage girl Sarah, aptly played by Jennifer Connelly of Rocketeer fame. Her baby brother Toby, oddly dressed in a red and white striped one-zy, won't stop crying so naturally she wishes that he would be taken by the goblin king. Well her dreams come true and she has to go to a strange muppet filled world. All these characters are interesting but the real star of the film is David Bowie's pronounced area.

Bowie, named Jareth the goblin king, thrusts his way through a thoroughly enjoyable role where he terrorizes Sarah and for some reason wants to keep Toby. Henson in a stroke of genius made Bowie as creepy as possible by putting him in these grey tights that accentuated his unit. Sadly I couldn't find any good shots of the region, but I assure you if you rent the film you will have David Bowie's package etched in your mind.

APB for Exercise TV's Abs Girl

2006-05-30T18:41:00.000-06:00

I was in the middle of my three hour workout the other day and I came across a great invention. Exercise TV which is on Cable On Demand. As I worked my washboard abs for the third time today I was enchanted by a vision of abalicious beauty. The host of the show is a good looking brunette, but to her left is an absolute knockout blond. She encourages me to work out everyday just by her presence, she is my fitness muse. I want to know who this woman is, and why isn't she famous? Seriously, second banana on an obscure workout show is not the place for her. If anyone knows who she is please give her my congratulations on being really hot. If you have Exercise TV check out the quick workouts, she does the abs.

These damn kids and their rap music

2006-05-28T21:45:00.000-06:00

Well, I recently just moved into a condo on a busy street and I really like it. It's nice to be able to paint whatever I want and be gaining equity. I have only one complaint. I'm tired of hearing blaring sterios. Now, living in Lincoln, Nebraska, I'm not exactly in an urban environment. Not that it matters, but most of these people are white males age 16-25.

Now there's a couple things that are annoying about this:

1. It's too damn loud and I shouldn't have to hear a freaking car stereo on the second floor probably 50-75 feet away from the road.

2. When listening to music that loud, the only possible reason to do it is to think you're cool and make others pay attention to it. When the bass if making the speakers vibrate so much that it sounds like it's going to blow, you can't possibly really even hear the song b/c the bass is so freaking loud.

Now it's not that I have it out for rap. I enjoy a reasonable amount of the genre (you can tell by my vocabulary in that sentence that I know my way around the streets). All I ask is that you turn down your volume b/c nobody's impressed. It's disturbing the peace. Or to translate to something the rap crowd can understand, it's DTP.

Naners

European Vacation BBL style!

2006-05-25T14:38:00.000-06:00

I think most of you who will read this knew why I've been away for awhile, but in case you didn't, I was gone for 10 days for a trip to Europe. It was awesome! I met my fam at the Paris airport since I was able to fly direct from Chicago and they had to go through Detroit. The flight ended up being pretty rough b/c I wasn't able to sleep like I had planned. I got about 3 hours sleep total within a 42 hour timespan, so wasn't ideal at all, but made it work.

Landing in Paris and getting around ended up being easier than I anticipated. I knew some French from my four years of it in jr. high/high school, so that helped a little. Also nice that the most important things had English translations. Customs was very easy and getting over to my family's terminal was just as simple. After a wait, they finally arrived and we were on our way into the city on the train. The outskirts of Paris are like any major city's rundown areas. Not very scenic at all, but coming up from the subway at our stop near the Seine was pretty cool. The old style buildings and narrow streets aren't something you see many places in the States.

After checking in, we headed right out to Notre Dame since it was only 1/2 mile away. It's pretty incredible to see in person with the twin towers, flying buttresses, and stained glass windows. It's quite the setting with it being on an island right in the Seine.

Next stop was another main tourist attraction: the Eiffel Tower. Approaching from the south side you're blocked by buildings and trees before it just rises up out of nowhere. FYI - it's just a tad bigger than the one in Vegas. :) After waiting forever, we finally got on an elevator to go up to the 2nd level. Quite the impressive view although outside of a few landmarks, Paris looks very bland from above. That night finished up with an ok dinner at a small cafe (only thing Paris has of course) and then crashing into bed.

Saturday, we were afraid it would rain all day, but luckily it only rained briefly in the afternoon and allowed us to walk everywhere for the day. After a subpar omelette breakfast (probably the only bad meal I had the whole trip), we began the trek. We start in the park near the hotel that ended up having a huge church (aren't they all in Europe??) with a small wedding going on.

Pretty cool to walk in and see that place, but it didn't compare to what we would see later on. Next up was the Louvre. We didn't go in on this day, but just walking around the building was cool. The adjoining gardens were also impressive.

The gardens lead right into the beginning of the Champs Elysees. Not being much of a shopper, this street wasn't as interesting as I had thought it'd be, but it's still cool how the shops line the street all the way up to the Arc de Triomphe. While the Champs wasn't that great, the Arc was amazing. Just thinking about all the history associated with it is pretty mindblowing.

Almost as mindblowing as the roundabout that goes around it! Pretty wild how the French handle that thing with no lane lines and traffic entering from all directions. After checking that out, we decided to walk back to the Eiffel Tower from a different direction. The view from across the river was a much better angle for pictures. The Champions League FanFest was also setup in this area, so that was cool to see as well even though I'm not much of a soccer fan.

With showers moving in, we quickly made our way to a cafe on the other side of the Tower to take cover and enjoy a snack. I got some crepes with chocolate and whipped cream. Delicious! We also enjoyed a hearty amount of secondhand smoke from the other diners, which was a common occurance almost everywhere. The French love their Marlboros!

After the pitstop to let the rain pass, we walked to Rue Cler, which is a three block street with tons of little shops selling everything from meats to pastrys to cheeses to fruits and veggies to chocolates and more. My mom loved this street and it was pretty fun to find more of a local area away from many tourists. We picked up some baguettes among other things for the train ride the next day and moved on.

We walked by Invalides next, which is where Napoleon and others are buried, and that is as impressive as any other building in Paris from the outside.

The trek finished up with St. Sulpice Church of Da Vinci Code fame (the Rose Line does exist inside) and then crossing the Pont Neuf bridge (oldest bridge in Paris). After all of this we finally ended up back at the hotel after what we estimated was a 10 mile walk. It was a long ways, but if you have the energy it's probably the best way to see the city's highlights. That night we ate at a nice cafe near the first church we saw that day and it was really good. Finished up the night falling asleep to some BBC World and French tv.

Well I left off in Paris, so let's keep rolling on to the French Riviera. My mom made things very easy for the whole trip by figuring out all the train schedules we needed and securing reservations if necessary. You have to reserve seats on the TGV trains (high-speed), but it's well worth the extra effort. Those things can fly! The trip down to Nice took most of the day even with the fast train, but we still had all evening to check out the town.

After a little trouble navigating the poorly-labeled and winding streets, we finally found our hotel, got checked in, and then headed out. Nice doesn't have the flashy reputation like Cannes to the west or Monte Carlo to the east, but it's pretty sweet. The boardwalk along the Mediterranean Sea reminded me of Atlantic City minus the filth.

The restaurant area of Nice is pretty amazing. There must be 30-40 cafes within a few blocks of one another, so tons of options for dinner. We were recommended to an Italian place by the hotel and it was really good. It was really popular, so not as relaxing as you'd like when you're on vacation, but still really good food. I personally can say that the seafood pasta ended up being rather large.

The next day, we grabbed some pastries and headed to the train station. The short train ride to the east took us to Monaco, which lived up to its reputation as a high class place with incredible views. The problem with it is that those views are created by it sitting on a mountainside, which you must walk up and down to get anywere for the most part. It's worth the trouble though. We made our way down to the famous casino and found out that it didn't open to the public until 2 pm, so we had some time to kill at the cafe next door (FYI - If you want a great club sandwich, go to Monte Carlo!). At 2 pm, we headed back the casino only to realize you have to pay $10 each just to get in, so we decided it wasn't worth it. (After returning to the States, I've read that you get 2 $5 chips to play with for that entry fee, so we should have done it.) We spent a little more time taking in the sights and it was kind of interesting to see them setting up the course for the Monaco Grand Prix, which is coming up soon.

We hopped back on the train and headed back through Nice to Antibes, which is just east of Cannes and an old, walled city that must have been used as a strategic military location long ago. It's a fun little town with lots of shops along narrow streets and a great view of the Mediterranean when you get on the other side of the wall. Also had the first of many scoops of gelato on the trip in Antibes, so that alone would have made it worth it.

We returned to Nice for dinner and ate at one of the other restaurants down by the coast and it too was very good. Like I said earlier, we really only ran into one poor place to eat.

Up next was another somewhat long day of travel as we headed to Bellagio on Lake Como with a train switch in Milan. My mom found a great place to stay in Bellagio that made hauling the lugguge up the step walkways in town well worth it.

There aren't many "sights" in Bellagio, so we didn't have to worry about seeing something of note and it was more relaxing. The day and a half there consisted of sitting by the pool, going for a quick run, eating at cool cafes, eating lots of gelato, and just walking around the town. We also had this view to look at from our room:

We made the short trip back to Milan the next day and while the city as a whole is underwhelming and even kind of ugly in areas, certain parts of it are incredible. The train station itself is amazing. It was built during Mussolini's time and is probably overly grandiose, but that is what makes it so impressive.

The most amazing building we saw on the whole trip was in Milan. Duomo is the third largest Catholic church in the world and I believe it! The place is simply huge and overwhelming. The Galleria next to it is unbelievable as well and is the nicest "mall" you'll ever see.

My dad and I explored more of the city, while my mom and sister took advantage of the shopping Milan offers. Somewhat near Duomo is the Sforzesco Castle and quite impressive in its own right. Combined with the huge park connected to it, they form one of the nicer areas in the city. It's worth checking out if you are ever in Milan. After some pizza for dinner (it's good, but Chicago deep dish is much better) and one last gelato, we crashed for the night exhausted from the ridiculous amount of walking we did.

The last day before we had to fly back was one of the best even though we were on a train most of the day. We took the TGV back to Paris through the scenic French Alps and it somehow went even faster than the one we took to Nice. If you aren't careful, it could make you sick to your stomach going that fast.

Our last night in Paris was limited, but we packed in quite a bit. After an excellent dinner (surprise, surprise!), we hustled over to the Louvre. Friday nights at 6 are free for those under 26, so my sister and I got in free. Had we had it to do over again, we wouldn't have cut it so close to closing time. It is so much more than just famous paintings, which don't do much for me personally. We saw the Mona Lisa and the other famous works of course, but it was the sculptures we came across at the end of our visit that I feel bad not having had longer to check them out. The one we did get to see was Hammurabi's Code, which was made in 1700 BC! That was very fun to see.

After the Louvre, we just walked around near the Seine and took in Paris at night since we hadn't really done that yet. As great as the city is during the day, it's even more amazing at night. The Eiffel Tower is lit up and even sparkles on the hour after dark and then you have all the lights reflecting off the Seine as well. It's like the Riverwalk in San Antonio times 100.

If you look in the background, you can see Notre Dame in this pic:

Well that's the recap. It was an incredible experience and if you have the money and time to ever do it you must. Hopefully I'll be back overseas sooner rather than later because there are still a ton of places I want to see, but for a first trip to Europe this was pretty amazing.

BBL

You Suck Larry The Cable Guy

2006-05-07T19:10:00.000-06:00

So I get done running the marathon today and sit down to watch some tv and what is on but "Larry the Cable Guy: Git-R-Done." Now I've had a problem with this douche for awhile but it's now time to air out the laundry.

"Larry the Cable Guy" is actually Daniel Whitney, he was born in Natchez, Mississi...........oh wait, he wasn't even born in the South. You're from Pawnee City, Nebraska and you lived there until you were 16 Dan! Well, after he left Pawnee City he headed down south where he lived in a traile.....oh, nevermind he went to Kings Academy, a private school, in the run down, ramshackle town of West Palm Beach, Florida. He says he got his accent in college in Georgia, but who the hell changes their accent in college?

Notice also on the picture above that Dan is wearing a hat with the Confederate Flag waving on the front. He also has the flag on his guitar on stage. I don't know if you had history at your snooty private school Dan, maybe you guys were too busy paddling each others' asses while making fun of minorities and gay people, but you're from Nebraka and Nebraska fought for the Union, otherwise known as the United States. The confederates were fighting against the U.S., they were fighting for slavery, and they lost. Nebraska is not the South. We don't have Southern accents. The state to the south of us, Kansas, is not in the South either.

Now Dan, you've already been eviscerated by a much funnier man than myself, David Cross. I can't do any better than he does. Let's just say I'm very very sad that you are from Nebraska. I know there are a lot of Nebraskans that disagree with me, but they are rednecks who think being stupid means you are a good American.

I don't know what to hope Dan. Maybe you are faking this whole redneck thing to make some big cash. In that case you are a whore who sold your upbringing and heritage out to make some money. Then again maybe you are truly the guy you portray on stage, in that case damn, then it sucks to be you.

JT

Awesome Inc. Messes with Texas!

2006-04-27T20:07:00.000-06:00

Another month and another trip. This time I flew to Texas for a weeklong roadie with my friend JH Naners, who flew from Lincoln. We went on a roadie last summer to Detroit, Cleveland, Cincinnati, and other college towns, so decided to do it again across Texas. Last summer we had record heat during the trip, so was only fitting that we would be welcomed to San Antonio by 100 degree heat.
Sunday 16th - I got into San Antonio before Naners and took advantage of the sweet motel room. I sat by the pool and got a decent tan working while reading On the Road (a blog on that book will probably come later). It was a solid afternoon. Naners finally got in and we headed for the Riverwalk right away. It was as cool as I remembered from a previous trip years back for the Alamo Bowl. Walked around for a while, grabbed some so-so BBQ at County Line (not recommended FYI) and then saw the Alamo at night. Good start to the trip.

Monday 17th - More riverwalk and Alamo time with a good Mexican meal at Casa Rio (recommended). A timekiller trip to see the USTA campus was pretty uneventful. Next up was the first game of the trip: Spurs vs. Jazz.
The AT&T Center is questionably placed far away from the Riverwalk and is somewhat ugly on the outside with it's metal circular exits and metal accents around the outside. The inside is better, but looks like almost every other new arena. The game itself was pretty fun b/c the Spurs were on top of their game and when a team that good is running on all cylinders it's amazing to watch. It was also a good time when I kicked Naners' ass at the free throw shooting game! Due to a priceline mistake I made, we had to get on the road to College Station after the game. I was worried about having to take what appeared to be small highways to get there, but Texas does it up right! 4 lanes with 65 mph speed limit was fantastic. Still took us until 1 am to get there, but it was a sweet ride indeed.

Tuesday 18th - Next up Houston, a city JH and I both expected to be pretty crappy from everything we read. Turns out it's a pretty sweet downtown and I'm not sure why Bill Simmons "The Sports Guy" among others hates it so much. After failing to get inside Reliant Stadium, which is freaking huge, we headed downtown. After picking up our sweet tickets (thanks Stats!), we headed to the highly recommended Erma's Southwest Grill. While the food was terrific, it was more expensive than we expected due to their lack of menus. The rest of the afternoon we just walked around downtown seeing the Toyota Center, former Enron building, cool parks, and entertainment centers. One crazy thing was when we ended up walking by the courthouse and tons of media people were there. It finally hit me that the Enron trial was going on and Jeff Skilling was testifying that day, so we were right in the middle of a big current event.
The game that night had the Brewers in town to play the Astros and was a great time. Minute Maid Park is really nice even with all the ridiculous quirks and the game itself turned out to be really fun. Saw Roy Oswalt pitch and a lot of home runs (surprise, surprise) with the Brew Crew almost coming all the way back, but falling just short. Some side notes: Rafer Alston of the Rockets ended up sitting a row in front of us, the "Real Men of Genius" guys made a commerical on the field, and the kiss cam was on top of its game with former President Bush laying one on Barbara and then giving the double thumbs up. Great time! Made it back to College Station that night.

Wednesday 19th - Headed to the Texas A&M campus to start the day and man is it boring. Just a lot of drab buildings that don't make it very fun to be on campus. Kyle Field is overrated it appears, although probably is awesome during a game b/c of the atmosphere. One thing that was interesting on campus, but not in a good way, was the fact that you have to remove your hat when you enter the student union. It's posted on every door and is pretty wild. Must really want students to respect the union!
After A&M, we headed to Dallas with a stop for lunch at the infamous Whataburger. For those who don't know, during our spring break trip to South Padre many years ago, we had to sustain ourselves on Whataburger. Not a good situation at all, but this trip actually was pretty good. The burgers actually had taste this time around.
On to Big D to see the Mavs play Naner's fav team, the Clippers. Unfortunately, both teams had already sealed their playoff seeds, so all the big stars sat out the game. It wasn't good, but at least we weren't like the guy behind us who had flown from Germany to see, among other things, Dirk Nowitzki play. Dirk was there, but in a suit. Before the game, we went down courtside to watch shootaround and ended up just a few rows away from the great Bill Walton, who was calling the game. I love Walton, so seeing him was pretty cool. American Airlines Center is pretty awesome I think. Spacious arena with really nice concourses. Hopefully I can get back there sometime soon. The highlight of the generally boring game, was the announcement after the 1st quarter that every fan would receive a free plane ticket on American Airlines. This sounded really awesome, but afterwards we realized it was restricted to 4 cities out of Love Field and had to be booked by the end of April. A nice gesture, but really had little value for most and no value for JH and me, who didn't live in Dallas. One final note about the Mavs: Mark Cuban kicks ass!!

Thursday 20th - Didn't have much planned for this day and not doing much is what we did. We did go to the TCU campus, which was ok, but nothing amazing. How they did not have a shirt with just the Horned Frog on it is beyond me and cost them a customer at the bookstore! After TCU, we hit up Mellow Mushroom for some pizza. If you read my blog for my roadie in January, you will remember that I ate at a MM in Charlottesville, VA and loved it. So when I found out there was one in Fort Worth, it was on the list of things to do. While not as good as I remembered, it was still very tasty. If there's a Mellow Mushroom near you, get your butt there and enjoy some solid pizza.
After MM, we decided to pass some more time at the Fort Worth Stockyards. Now Naners and I are about as far from being cowboys as anybody could be, so this sidetrip wasn't supposed to be any big deal. Turned out that the area was pretty cool actually. Brick streets, old timey buildings, and we ended up seeing the small cattle drive they do twice a day. We both agreed that it was a fun place even though we both had no interest in the cowboy lifestyle at all. The rest of the night we just watched tv in the hotel b/c it was raining and the minor league game we had thought about attending was rained out.

Friday 21st - Took in the 6th Floor Museum in Dallas, which was again very interesting and somewhat eerie, although not as much as when I went the first time when I was much younger. Walked around the grassy knoll afterwards and it's pretty amazing that very little has changed in that area in the over 40 years since JFK was assasinated. Ate in the West End for lunch (great area to eat and hang out!) and then drove around for much of the afternoon. Went up to Plano to see the huge headquarters on Legacy Dr. including Ross Perot's EDS building. Still can't believe how big that place is and that he raises cattle on the land around it.
We headed to Arlington for the Rangers and Devil Rays game and once again had great seats thanks to STATS. With the pitching matchup being Seth McClung and Kameron Loe, we knew it'd be very high scoring and it turned out to be exactly that.with the final being 13-7. It was pretty funny to watch and also exciting to be so close to so many foul balls due to our great seats. I recommend the footlong chili cheese dog for those going to games at Ameriquest Field!

Saturday 22nd - After staying in Waco, we got up and headed to Austin. After a horocious traffic jam delayed us for about a half an hour, we finally arrived at Disch-Falk field for the final game on our trip: Huskers vs. Longhorns in a great baseball matchup. The game turned out to be great with the Huskers coming from behind to win 7-5, but the 'Horns should be embarrassed by the stadium they play in. A rusting overhang, peeling and faded outfield walls, an ugly entrance to the park, and the fact that they still use astroturf are just some of the things very wrong with Disch-Falk. It's pretty amazing that a team with that kind of success still plays in a dump like that.
After checking out the great campus that we'd both seen before, we decided to go check into our hotel. This turned out to be one of the craziests check-ins ever. The hotel's computers had gone down I guess, so they weren't completely sure which rooms had been cleaned and which were still occupied. The first room we were given had an unmade bed with open suitcases in it and clothes hanging in the closet. Obviously occupied. The next room we knocked first, but did not get a response, so thought it was clear. Wrong! The room was super dark when I opened the door and then a bearded, shirtless fat guy got up from the bed wondering what was going on. Very freaky indeed. The third time was the charm and we finally got an empty room, but it was a wild adventure. That night we hit up Sixth Street for a while, which is always fun.

We flew out the next day and concluded a long, but very enjoyable trek through Texas. I can now check off Minute Maid Park from my ballparks needed to visit list (19 down and 11 to go). The campuses were pretty disappointing, but overall a very fun time. Next year: West Coast??

BBL

Come on Nebraska!

2006-04-24T19:33:00.000-06:00

I'm not a political man, I have strong opinions, but I'm not that guy marching around the Federal Building in Lincoln with stuff written on my t-shirt. This most recent development is just bordering on ridiculous though. President Bush's approval ratings just hit another all-time low. There are four states in the union that approve of the job he's doing and Nebraska is one of them. Guess what other bastions of enlightenment are with us on this one....Utah, Idaho, and Wyoming.

-Utah: I don't think they allow dancing yet.
-Idaho: I don't know anything about Idaho, so I'm just going to straight up stereotype them, "Hey Idaho! Stop eating baked potatoes while watching Napoleon Dynamite and Vandals football and read a damn newspaper!
-Wyoming: I really don't think anyone lives in Wyoming. Can anyone prove me wrong? Dick Cheney lived there, but I think he was the last one to move out. Anyone who does live there is probably just hanging out in the wilderness, too busy to stay on top of the news.

The good news is that Nebraska had the smallest margin between 'approve' and 'disapprove' of the four Bush states. Nebraska is 51% approve to 45% disapprove, that leaves 4% who just haven't made up their mind yet. This is what I want to know from the 51%: I know there's a lot of Republicans here, and that's cool with me. I'm all for small government, balancing the budget and staying out of people's business. The thing is, President Bush is not for these things. Have you checked out our national debt lately? I know many Bush supporters are old and (God forbid) might not be around when the time comes to pay the bills, but (God willing) I might be, and just know that I'm going to be pissed of at you. Other things on the Bush agenda:

-Social Security: That went over like a lead balloon.

-Health Care: Maybe we should have listened to Hilary back in the 90s, this is just out of control now.

-Immigration: That's really moving along nicely.

-Iraq War: OH MY GOD THIS IS TERRIBLE

-Osama Bin Laden: Yeah, remember this guy? It seems to me that in a "post-9/11 world" we might want to catch the guy who caused 9/11.

-Iran: We aren't slowing their nuke program any.

-Same minimun wage as about 40 years ago. $5.15 an hour is an absolute joke.

On the other hand he has some notable accomplishments:

-Record profits for oil companies.

-Having a crazy person as Secretary of Defense for record number of years.

-Having Dick Cheney take Senator Palpatine lessons.

-Having delightfully out of control daughters.

-Not doing any crack.

Alright Nebraska, there's my case. I'd like to hear what you think. Give me some positives from this administration. No gay marriage? Is that it? Is that what all this is about? Now I thought you guys were for staying out of Americans' bedrooms. Let's not flip-flop here. If we went to a crazy war, didn't find the terrorists, have terrible health care and have $3.00 gas because you 51% think the world will end if boys kiss, once again I'm going to be pissed off.

JT

Stay Away From 28th and P!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-04-12T22:14:00.000-06:00

As I perused the newspaper today I found an article so shockingly funny, brutal, and terrifying that I had to share it with the rest of the world. Lincoln, Nebraska, is a sleepy little college town, population 250,000. Apparently though, some Lincolnites out there have gotten a little freaky. So without further ado, here's what happened.

"Soft drink lodged in man"

A 38-year-old Lincoln man showed up at BryanLGH Medical Center West on Monday, claiming he had been assaulted last week, police said Tuesday. The man told hospital staff he was in the area of 28th and P streets Thursday when someone punched him in the head from behind and kicked him when he fell.He said he temporarily lost consciousness and came to, only to find his pants down to his ankles. An X-ray at the hospital Monday revealed a 20-ounce soft drink bottle lodged in the man’s lower intestine. He was to have it removed Tuesday.

Here's the link in case you don't believe me: http://www.journalstar.com/articles/2006/04/12/local/doc443d33b397d7a377103384.txt

I have several questions about these occurances:

1. Why in the wide wide world of sports did this guy wait four days to go to the hospital? There's no way he could have had a normal crap in those four days, so that's a red flag right there.

2. That had to hurt like a bastard. I've drank my fair share of 20 ouncers, so I know the general size and contours of a bottle, and let me tell you, there's a little girth there. Let's say that this guy is telling the truth and he didn't know when, ahem, insertion occured, well how did he not notice when he woke up?

3. Do you think the bottle was unopened? or empty?

4. What kind of pop was it? This is important because of the different bottle types. Was it that pyramid like Dr. Pepper bottle, or the curvacious Coca-Cola shape?

5. Does this guy seriously expect anyone to buy this story? I mean, come on, you can't be serious right? I just want to know what the nurses on duty were saying when they saw that X-ray.

BBL's all-knowing MLB predictions

2006-04-01T22:28:00.000-07:00

Well I'm sure all of you are dying to know who I think will win it all in baseball this year, especially after my stellar bracket predicting and betting in Vegas. JH Naners and JT have both given their takes, so I'll chime in with mine right now.

AL East
New York Yankees - The pitching isn't that great, but the offense is and they still have Rivera. I'm guessing they'll pick up another arm at the deadline even with hardly anything to offer from their farm system.

Boston Red Sox - Naners has shown me the light on the BoSox and I think they could be very solid this year unlike what many experts are saying. If Schilling and Foulke stay healthy, then the Sox and my fantasy team, will both have successful seasons.

Toronto Blue Jays - Solid offseason should result into a very competitive team, but still not enough offense to overcome the regulars. Glaus is my favorite acquisition of theirs.

Tampa Bay Rays - The perennial doormat rises a notch this year on the strength of their offense, which is absolutely loaded. If they ever find any arms to put behind Kazmir, they could challenge for third in a year or two.

Baltimore Orioles - Even with Mazzone, I don't think the pitching will be improved enough to make up for an average offense. Tejada will be traded at midseason.

AL Central
Chicago White Sox - Won it all AND picked up Jim Thome and Javier Vasquez, so look great on paper again. Problem is that Bobby Jenks showed up to Spring Training fatter than he already was and hasn't lost any weight still and Dustin Hermanson's career might be over, so the bullpen appears shaky.

Cleveland Indians - Sizemore, Martinez, Hafner, Peralta, and Michaels should make up a very solid lineup now that Michaels is getting full-time action. The staff and bullpen should be very good as well, but not good enough to catch the Sox.

Minnesota Twins - After Johan Santana, they have just enough offense and pitching to not completely tank, but not enough to truly contend for the division title. Francisco Liriano is a pitcher to watch though as he could be a special talent assuming he stops drinking and driving.

Detroit Tigers - Jim Leyland is a great manager, but not great enough to get the Tigers over the hump. The staff has potential, but the offense and bullpen aren't good enough to finish any higher than 3rd.

Kansas City Royals - They might have signed a few veterans, but they still will suck hard with that starting rotation. The Alex Gordon watch is on.

AL West
Oakland Athletics - Everyone seems to think this team will be awesome and are talking World Series, but I'm not quite that high on them. The rotation should be superb assuming Harden can stay healthy and the bullpen is great, but can Chavez and co. put up enough runs to reward that pitching? Enough to win the West and that's it.

LA Angels - Will the young prospects finally step up? If they do, they could win the division, but I don't see that happening and they'll need Vlady to carry them to second place.

Texas Rangers - The record seems to be broken in Arlington: all offense and no pitching keeps occuring every year. It's possible that the hitters can carry them to the title, like they almost did two years ago, but I'm not counting on it.

Seattle Mariners - The offense should be ok, the starters should be ok (Felix Hernandez being the exception), and the bullpen should be ok. That makes for an ok season in a fairly difficult division.

AL MVP - ARod, Yankees
AL Cy Young - Rich Harden, A's
AL ROY - Ian Kinsler, Rangers
AL Manager - Ken Macha

NL East
New York Mets - Offense is loaded, rotation is solid, and the bullpen is good enough. All of that, combined with a pretty weak National League, make the Mets a legit NL pennant contender.

Atlanta Braves - The bullpen will be their downfall and could sink them even further if they stick with Rietsma too long at closer.

Philadelphia Phillies - Very solid offense, but not enough pitching across the board to really contend in the East.

Florida Marlins - Surprise pick here, but I'm thinking all the youngsters come together a lot sooner than some think and like JT said, they will be winning the Series in 2008.

Washington Nationals - Jim Bowden sucks as a GM and being owned by MLB isn't helping things either. An average team that will get worse when Soriano is traded in July and Livan's arm finally falls off after so many innings.

NL Central
St. Louis Cardinals - I'm a Cards fan and I've been very pleased by the past few years, but I'm much less confident in this team. They will still win the Central and maybe even the pennant, but that's only because the NL is so weak.

Houston Astros - Teams 2 thru 4 are all about the same in my mind, but I think the Astros have just a bit more in all the phases of the game to finish here. They won't make it to the postseason again though.

Milwaukee Brewers - Tons of great young offensive talent that should finally break through completely this year. The bullpen is a concern though and should keep them from making any legit run at the playoffs.

Chicago Cubs - If Prior and Wood are healthy... When Mark and Kerry finally come back...blah blah blah. A better offense will not make up for their lack of a rotation right now.

Pittsburgh Pirates - Brewers Jr. with lots of young talent (mostly on the pitching side though) and will be fun to watch a couple years from now, but won't be all that good this year.

Cincinnati Reds - More homers and more losses as is the case with this team every year since they've moved into the GAB.

NL West
San Francisco Giants - It won't be pretty, but they have enough pitching to win a weak division. The bullpen might be their downfall though.

San Diego Padres - Good enough offense and Jake Peavy will get them into 2nd place, but a suspect remaining rotation and bullpen will keep them from repeating as division champs.

Los Angeles Dodgers - They could possibly be really good, but they'll need all their pitchers and JD Drew to stay healthy, which is a big problem for them.

Arizona Diamondbacks - A mix of old and young will keep them around the race for a while until they realize it's best to trade Gonzalez and Green to get better next year.

Colorado Rockies - Tons of hitters that will be let down by yet another crappy year from their pitchers. If they find a few more Jeff Francis', then maybe they could finally win something.

NL MVP - Albert Pujols, Cardinals
NL Cy Young - Chris Carpenter, Cardinals
NL ROY - Joey Devine, Braves
NL Manager - Tony LaRussa, Cardinals

MLB Playoffs

Yankees over A's
Red Sox over White Sox

Red Sox over Yankees

Cardinals over Braves
Mets over Giants

Cardinals over Mets

World Series - Cards over Red Sox in 7 (I'm assuming Walt Jocketty makes a big move to enhance the offense.)

BBL

Jamie's MLB Predictions

2006-04-01T10:31:00.000-07:00

Quicker than JH Nan's, but more info for you fans to noodle. I start with the NL because they play real baseball.

NL EAST

1. Atlanta Braves: Staff is good, Roger McDowell looks like a great pitching coach. If Andruw Jones can produce anything like last year they'll be there. You know last year's rooks are just going to get better.

2. New York Mets: We'll see on these guys. The key is Billy Wagner, if he's healthy he anchors a bullpen that is not deep. Beltran must bounce back, he has the protection now.

3. Philadelphia Phillies: Well, they have the Phanatic. They also have a darn good lineup. I don't trust their staff at all though. Abreu MVP?

4. Washington Nationals: If Bud "I'm a huge piece of crap car dealer masquerading as the leader of MLB and I hate the Expos/Nats organization" Selig would ever get this team and owner and let them move on they could improve in a hurry. As it is the rotation and bullpen are horrifically thin. The loss of Luis Ayala was an absolute killer (Thanks World Baseball Classic, what a great idea). The offense will be better however.

5. Marlins: Terrible this year, better next year, World Series 2008.

NL CENTRAL:

1. St. Louis Cardinals: They're still good, I don't understand why people think they're on the decline. If Rolen is even mediocre they'll be better.

2. Pittsburgh Pirates: I love Jim Tracy as the new manager. The key will be the rebound of Oliver Perez. Keep his foot away from hard objects!

3. Milwaukee Brewers: They will win the Wild Card in 2007. Ben Sheets should sleep in a hyperbolic chamber or something, get healthy Sheets!!!! Plus, Kolb is back.

4. Chicago Cubs: Dusty Baker has destroyed a potential multiple World Series team but letting Kerry Wood and Mark Prior throw 130 pitches a game, they aren't named Livan, Dusty!!! Jim Hendry should take some blame too for having such a crappy bullpen (Joe Borowski???) that Dusty had to stick with the starters, but what else would you expect from someone associated with Creighton University.

5. Houston Astros: How the hell did they get to the World Series? Roy Oswalt is awesome, but man they are boring besides that.

6. Cincinnati Reds: What is this team trying to do? Do they have a direction? BORING.

NL WEST

1. SF Giants: Matt Morris is consistant and moving to Candlestick/SBC/Pacbell will help. Plus Barry Bonds will probably hit 80 HR's just to piss people off.

2. SD Padres: The next three teams are pretty even. But Peavy and Giles will carry the Pads. Bruce Bochy is the man.

3. Arizona D'Backs: Getting better, improved 26 wins last year.

4. Dodgers: Too many injury risks in the rotation, although I like the Seo pickup. Also smart to get Baez. I just have the feeling that this team won't score runs.

5. Colorado Rockies: I bet they score a lot of runs and have a 6.00 ERA. Call me Nostratallman.

AL EAST

1. Yankees: So many runs, a rotation that's healthier than last year and a solid bullpen add up to the Yanks back in the playoffs.

2. Red Sox: It will be a duel to the death between the Jays and the Sox. I love Josh Beckett if he stays away from blisters. The lineup is fine and the defense is better. Coco is better than the overrated Damon.

3. Blue Jays: Their most important moves were in the lineup. Adding Glaus and Overbay takes some pressure off the kids.

4. D'Rays: Alright D'Rays, get some pitching for goodness sakes. I love the lineup, could use one more power bat, or have Aubrey Huff hit some more bombs.

5. Orioles: Screw the Orioles.

NL CENTRAL

1. White Sox: They are good, damn good. The vulnerablility is the bullpen, gotta sure that thing up, they could be in the market for someone like Baez or Mesa around the deadline.

2. Twins: Best starters in the league get better with the addition of Liriano. The lineup is improved, Morneau and Mauer will just get better.

3. Indians: I really really don't like their rotation. People don't realize how good Millwood was last year. Jason Johnson is not good. Their offense is scary though, could be as good as the Yankees if Victor Marinez steps up his game.

4. Detroit Tigers: Leyland will help, he knows his stuff. If Mags hits they will be right there for second place.

5. Royals: How does Allaird Baird still have a job? Does David Glass look at the direction of the Royals and say, "Wow, that looks super." Baird has had lots of time and he's built a rotation where the best starter is Joe Mays. They are my second favorite team, but man do they piss me off.

AL WEST

1. Angels: Time for McPherson and Kotchman to step up. Erstad must remain healthy in CF. The bullpen is rock solid, but the rotation is cause for worries. This team will be in the market for a starter come trading time.

2. A's: Not sure why they gave all that cash to Estaban Loiza, but he'll probably be awesome for them. Another well constructed team from Beane, Will they trade Zito??
Milton Bradley will not be a distraction in this tight clubhouse.

3. Texas Rangers: The offense is really good, the pitching is really bad. Can't the Rangers figure out that you have to have a good starting staff to accomplish anything?

4. Seattle Mariners: They won't be in last again in the next ten years. Felix Hernanadez is freaking unbelievable.

PLAYOFFS

NLDS
Giants v. Braves
Mets v. Cards
NLCS
Cards v. Giants
ALDS
Angels v. White Sox
A's v. Yankees
ALCS
White Sox v. Yankees
World Series
Cards v. Yankees
Champs: In a rematch of the 1926 World Series the Cardinal again beat the Yankees 4-3.

jt

J.H. Naner's 2006 Baseball Preview

2006-03-31T19:36:00.000-07:00

Alright, I have no Stats games to do and I'm a loser, so I'll spend an hour or so here on a Friday giving my 2006 MLB predictions.

AL East
1. Boston Red Sox- Okay, I know a lot of people think they'll finish third, and I don't think it's out of the realm of possibility, but I really like the offseason moves they made. I think Coco Crisp will be just as good as Damon and he doesn't throw like his arm is a limp noodle. The defense on the infield should also be improved with Alex Gonzalez at short. Loretta is a solid pickup, and they got Josh Beckett. Plus Schilling and Foulke cannot be as bad as last year.

Surprise contributer- Rudy Seanez.
Weakness factor- No gaping holes, so I'll say Julian Tavarez going crazy and shooting up the clubhouse is the biggest risk.

2. New York Yankees- Okay, the lineup is ridiculously good and I know they had some pitching injuries last year. But I refuse to believe Shawn Chacon and Aaron Small will pitch like last year. Kyle Farnsworth could fill in to replace Tom Gordon without a problem, but he could also be too distracted trying to pick up chicks and have an era of 5.50. Tough to pick against them, but I just think the Red Sox rotation is significantly better.

Surprise contributer- Not really a surprise, but Robinson Cano was extremely solid as a rookie and if he improves a little on defense and offense he could be a superstar in no time.
Weakness factor- I don't trust the bullpen.

3. Toronto Blue Jays- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know the Blue Jays went out and spent some money. But throwing $95 million at A.J. I act like I'm 5 and didn't have to pitch against Boston and the Yankees ten times a year Burnett was a bad signing in my opinion. B.J. Ryan could be really good, but only has one year of real closer experience. They'll be competitive but are still not in the class of the big two yet.

Surprise contributer- I think Shea Hillenbrand will have a very solid year with Glaus and Overbay added to the lineup.
Weakness factor- O-dog isn't there anymore to get a web gem every night and the lineup still includes unproven Reed Johnson, Alex Rios (who I actually think should be pretty good), Russ Adams, and Aaron Hill.

4. Baltimore Orioles- I really wanted to put the D'Rays here b/c in about two years I think their offense will be top 5 in the league, but I have to give the nod to Baltimore b/c of Rockin' Leo Mazzone. The starters could turn from a weakness to at least adequacy. The offense should be good, and I think Ramon Hernandez was a good signing and will deepen their lineup.

Surprise contributor- Daniel Cabrera. This guy's got really good stuff and combined with Mazzone could mean a much needed big year.
Weakness factor- The bullpen. Wow.

5. Tampa Ray Devil Rays- I enjoyed watching them last year and have the feeling about 50% of this team will end up playing for the Yankees about five years down the road. They've got a very nice mix of speed and power and can only get better.

Surprise contributor- Scott Kazmir. Had the Mets not traded him for Victor Zambrano, I might be inclined to call the Mets a legit World Series threat.
Weakness factor- Everyone else on the pitching staff. Seth McClung can throw about 100mph, but until he controls it, his era will be high reaching, too.

AL Central

1. Chicago White Sox- How can you not pick them to win it? Their rotation remains the best in baseball and if Jim Thome returns anywhere near to form, the middle of the order will be a bear. Although some of the fear put in the opponents heart will be gone since Carl Evereally insane is gone. Freaking dinosaurs.

Surprise contributer- Rob Mackowiak. Solid utility player that will give them flexibility and depth.
Weakness factor- Maybe the bullpen? I've heard Dustin Hermanson's back is as bad as BBL's and word from BBL is also that Bobby Jenks may be having Rick Ankiel like control problems.

2. Cleveland Indians- I really like the Indians personally. Although part of my affinity left when Coco Crisp left town. This team should be good, but I can't say that they improved from last year. I think trading Crisp was a bad idea and while Millwood didn't get any run support last year, he kept them in tons of games. Also, Bob Wickman is about 53 years old and really fat.

Surprise contributer- Paul Byrd is much steadier and valuable than he gets credit for.
Weakness factor- I don't see their lineup being wild card contender good.

3. Detroit Tigers- Tough call for me between the Twins and Tigers. I'll give Detroit the nod I guess. To me this is a team that if everything goes right, they could make a small run at the wild card, but more likely they'll be .500ish. They've got a lot of good hitters but nobody that really scares you.

Surprise contributer- Curtis Granderson.
Weakness factor- Jim Leyland death watch could be a distraction

4. Minnesota Twins- I've seen an "expert" actually predict them to win the Central. Well, this person works for cbs sportsline and therefore is a pretty good chance he makes his predictions by if he likes a team's logo. How can you have such awesome gamecenter and such terrible writers sportsline? Anywho, Johan will anchor a staff that should be pretty good, but may be a little too thin to get the job done considering a lineup that I think will be pretty terrible.

Surprise contributer- Justin Morneau. I think he will bounce back and probably be their most productive hitter.
Weakness factor- Tony Batista is their starting 3rd baseman.

5. Kansas City Royals- I almost hate to admit this, but I kind of am excited to see the Royals, which for many who know me is a rarity. It might just be b/c this team actually has some semblance of a major league team after last year's softball squad. Having said that, they will still be God awful.

Surprise contributer- Not really a surprise, but I think Reggie Sanders will definitely help this lineup more than he really should. Hopefully Alex Gordon can get up there and do some Ken Harvey like rookie damage.
Weakness factor- They're infield still might only hit a combined 50 hrs, leaving the outside chance that the kiss cam will still be the most exciting part of the game and send me back into a loathing of the Royals.

Al West

1. Oakland A's- A lot of people seem to really love this team. I think they'll be very good, but frankly I'm not in love with this team. I think a lot hinges on if Bobby Crosby and Nick Swisher have good years. Their starting rotation has the potential to be on par with the White Sox.

Surprise contributer- Dan Haren. He was good last year, and I think he will only get better.
Weakness factor- Already known for penny pinching, Billy Beane may have to spend all spare income on security. The combination of the city of Oakland and Milton Bradley? I think that's the picture in the dictionary under "volatile".

2. Seattle Mariners- A bit of a surprise here, but I think this team had a good offseason. I like the addition of Jarrod Washburn, especially when teamed up with Safeco field. And if Kenji Johjima is worth his price tag, the offense will be formidable. And Felix Hernandez is the man.

Surprise contributor- I'm going to go with Adrian Beltre. He didn't do much last year, but I expect him to bounce back and be more in the .280/30hr/100 rbi range.
Weakness factor- This team always seems to underachieve in some manner or another and Carl Everett may say something about his disbelief in coffee and/or rain and start a riot.

3. Anaheim Angles of Los Angeles, California of the United States of America, Earth- This to me is an aging team that passed its prime. Vladimir is good and all, but I think Garret Anderson has taken a step back and to be honest, I think their lineup is really weak. I wouldn't be surprised if they were finished 3rd of even last.

Surprise contributer- Kelvim Escobar. This guy is good. Just needs to put it all together.
Weakness factor- Do they have a catcher who can take advantage of the staff, let alone not be a dangerous liability on an already thin offense?

4. Texas Rangers- I may eat my words for putting them here later, since their lineup is awfully good. Some people like their rotation, but I don't buy Adam Eaton being all that good, or healthy, and something tells me Francisco Cordero will regress.

Surprise contributor- Brad Wilkerson could have a field day in the humidity of Texas and out of cavernous RFK. But he could also try to hit 50 hrs and hit .235.
Weakness factor- This team has absolutely no speed since Soriano is gone.

NL East

1. New York Mets- I could really see any of my top three teams winning this division, so this is kind of an instinct feeling. I think the general public have never really realized how good Carlos Delgado is and now that he's playing for the Mets, he might get the exposure to prove it. With the exception of second base, this lineup is stacked.

Surprise contributer- Xavier Nady wil be one of the better hitters in the 7 hole in the league.
Weakness factor- If Pedro goes down, so do the Mets hopes of winning the division. That pitching staff does not inspire confidence. I think the lineup makes up enough for it, though.

2. Philadelphia Phillies- This is the NL version of the Mariners in that they always seem to underachieve. But this lineup has the chance to be just ridiculous. Ryan Howard could be the NL HR leader if he gets a little more consistent against left handed pitchers.

Surprise contributer- Aaron Rowand is pretty good and should improve the defense.
Weakness factor- I'm not sure I buy Tom Gordon as a legitimate closer anymore. Especially in that park.

3. Atlanta Braves- Yes, this is the year I believe it all comes to an end. Boy do I hope I'm right. They still have a decent lineup and decent starting pitching, but I just don't think they have enough, especially with Leo Mazzone gone. Although Edgar Renteria will probably get good again and they'll have 35 rookies who are awesome and prove me wrong.

Surprise contributer- Horacio Ramirez. If he can stay healthy I think he's pretty good. I also think Adam Laroche will continue to improve.
Weakness factor- That's not a real strong bullpen and I expect Jorge Sosa's numbers to be significantly worse than last year.

4. Washington Nationals- Still marred by the ultimate screw job from MLB, the Nationals just don't have enough pieces to be a real contender. I think Soriano will still hit pretty well, but the left field experiment could go horribly wrong. Hopefully a new ballpark and greener pastures are on the way.

Surprise contributer- I'm drinking the J.T. kool aid about Ryan Zimmerman. Hopefully my fantasy team will reap the benefits.
Weakness factor- Some say winning a lot of one run games is a sign of a good team. I say it's a sign of almost losing.

5. Florida Marlins aka 2005 KC Royals with better future- The Memorial Stadium of Major League Baseball. So much selling out. I heard Miami is hoping the polar ice caps melt to put out the fire sale. Ba-zing.

Surprise contributer- Could be almost anyone since pretty much nobody on this team has any big league experience.
Weakness factor- Those who are surprise contributers will probably suck.

NL Central

1. St. Louis Cardinals- Much like the AL West, I think this is a tough division to handicap. The Cardinals don't scare me as much as they did two or three years ago, but they still have a good ballclub. Moving into a new stadium could be an x-factor until the players get comfortable in the new confines. Also putting a dangerous animal in a new environment (i.e. Sidney Ponson) and anything can ensue.

Surprise contributer- Call it a gut feeling, but I think Juan Encarnacion is going to be better than people think.
Weakness factor- No glaring weakness here, but if Chris Carpenter's last month wasn't an aberration last year, this team could vulnerable. Edmonds isn't getting any younger, either.

2. Milwaukee Brewers- This is more of a hope than what I necessarily think will happen. I think there is a lot of parity between teams two through six in thie division, so this I'll put this more in the order of what I want to happen. I kind of think the Brewers are still a year or two away from being legit, but you never know. Maybe Miller Park's special brat sauce will be enough of an intangible for a second place finish.

Surprise contributer- All of their prospects are not really a surprise in fact they are the reason for all the optimism in Milwaukee, so I'll throw Jose Capellan out there from the bullpen b/c he throws really, really hard.
Weakness factor- Too green to handle the pressures of the optimism? Perhaps. Also, Ben Sheets must stay healthy.

3. Houston Astros- I don't really like the Astros for some reason, but they did go to the World Series last year. They also had Roger Clemens. And Andy Pettite pitched amazingly well. Those two factors may not be there this year. Jeff Bagwell's surgery was a blessing in disguise in terms of clubhouse tension.

Surprise contributer- Preston Wilson. He strikes out a lot, but the left field dimensions was originally designed for a little league field.
Weakness factor- I just think this team overachieved last year.

4. Chicago Cubs- 2004- Red Sox, 2005- White Sox, 2006- Not the Cubs. Sorry, MP. To borrow a line from JT, "if ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry christmas." A.K.A, if Mark Prior and Kerry Wood were healthy, the Cubs could be a title contender.

Surprise contributer- Matt Murton will hit 30 hrs according to MP, so I'll go with him. Most others on this team you know what you are getting from.
Weakness factor- The human body's vulnerability/curses.

5. Pittsburgh Pirates- This team is kind of like the baby Brewers in my mind. They've got potential for sure, and honestly if everything falls into place, I could see them finishing as high as 3rd in the division. I think the addition of veterans Sean Casey, Joe Randa, and Jeromy Burnitz will bring some legitimacy and experience to this really young core of talent already there. Jason Bay is basically Vladimir Guerrero when he played for Montreal and nobody knew who he was. One of the best 10 hitters in baseball and now he'll even have a little protection. They also should be one of the best defensive teams in baseball.

Surprise contributer- Oliver Perez has buckets of talent and is the key to putting the Pirates on the right track to respectibility.
Weakness factor- Hard to improve dramatically in a division that has improved itself.

6. Cincinnati Reds- Who knows with this team. They could be okay, but they seem to be MLB's version of purgatory to me. No more Jose Rijo = no more glory.

Surprise contributer- Aaron Harang. This guy is pretty damn good, and he's pretty damn good in a hitter's ballpark.
Weakness factor- Ken Griffey and Austin Kearns are to the Reds as Prior and Wood are to the Cubs.

NL West

1. San Francisco Giants- I expect a big bounce back for Jason Schmidt. Of course the wild card here is Barry Bonds and who knows what will happen with that mess. Still, this team has a deeper rotation than anyone else in the division and if Armando Benitez can stay healthy , the Giants will close out more games than last year. Matt Morris should be a solid addition.

Surprise contributer- I look for Steve Finley to bounce back a little from his horrific 2005 and give the team a lift. Randy Winn was hot since getting traded from Seattle last summer and teammates this spring say he is locked in like never before.
Weakness factor- Is Barry isn't dominating, I think he's a detriment to the team overall.

2. Los Angeles Dodgers- I'm kind of torn on this team. I like the addition of Rafael Furcal, but only b/c I don't drive on the LA freeway. If Nomar returns to some resemblence of his former self and Gagne and J.D. Drew stay healthy, this team definitely has enought talent to win the division. But they could also be an overpriced group of underachievers, too.

Surprise contributer- Brad Penny
Weakness factor- This team to me is stuck in a transition between having a lot of old guys before that deep farm system starts taking over.

3. San Diego Padres- I hope my favorite team can repeat the unforgettable and magical 2005 division win, but there was just so much freaking turnover to the roster that it's hard to tell. I think the team has a nice mix of veterans and young talents, but kind of seem like the Tigers of the AL. They've got a lot of decent players, but except for Jake Peavy, they don't have anyone that truly is a game changer. Hopefully Josh Barfield and Adrian Gonzalez are fast learners.

Surprise contributer- I think a move to Petco could help Shawn Estes have a pretty solid year. I expect an era in the 3.50-3.75 range with 12-15 wins.
Weakness factor- The bullpen may go from the club's biggest strength to a question mark. Also, Khalil Greene needs to stop being a potential star and actually do it.

4. Arizona Diamonbacks- I don't really have much of a feeling for this team. They will not be terrible, nor good. Will Luis Gonzalez play forever? Seems like he has been.

Surprise contributer- Orlando Hudson as mentioned in the Blue Jays preview (which I wrote about 2.5 hours ago now), is a very solid player and Brandon Webb may want to take a side trip to Vegas to elope with O-Dog b/c he is a hoover at second base between his glove and his big mouth.
Weakness factor- They are paying Russ Ortiz $8 million.

5. Colorado Rockies- I'd consider these guys a less explosive NL version of the Devil Rays. They've got a lot of young hitters who look like they have solid potential. Of course, they also play in the mountains. Todd Helton can only improve off of 2005, but his big drop off does make me question whether that steroid accusation was true.

Surprise contributer- I think Matt Holliday could continue to improve into one of the more dangerous hitters in the league. Also, any team with Jose Mesa gains some likeability in my book.
Weakness factor- Still very young and still very hard to find a pitcher who can be successful at Coors.

Playoff predictions

A.L.- Boston over Oakland
Chicago over New York, then Boston over Chicago

N.L.- St. Louis over Philadelphia
San Francisco over Mets, then St. Louis over S.F.

World Series- Boston over St. Louis. It's 2004 all over again!!!

A.L. mvp- David Ortiz
A.L. cy young- Rich Harden

N.L. mvp- Albert Pujols
N.L. cy young- Jason Schmidt

Did anyone read this entire post?

J.H. Naners

Vegas toys with Awesome Inc.

2006-03-27T00:26:00.000-07:00

(Note: Pics have now been added)

JT and JH Naners have weighed in with their takes on the Vegas excursion that took place a week ago, so I will not rehash their stories, but attempt to add to them. If you haven't figured it out already, the common theme during the trip was losing money and lots of it, but we still managed to have a great time doing it. The losing started Wednesday night, but so did the good times. As JT pointed out Syracuse and Michigan State have been added to our "Dead to us" list with the Detroit Pistons earning "You're on notice" status for their efforts on consecutive nights. Had those games turned out differently, this trip would probably have turned out to be the best yet (It was trip 8 for JT and myself FYI).

While there weren't any extra crazy nights during the trip, each one offered good times and a fair share of hilarious quotes that JT can post at some point. Wednesday was pretty slow going as we eased into the trip, but still managed to down quite a bit of alcohol before hitting the sack at a reasonable 1 am. By that time I had been up for 33 straight hours, which was a new personal record, and with the Dance starting the next day it was time to call it a night.

Thursday was pretty much the same with more losing and more drinking. Some of the group hit some bets, so it wasn't as bad as the following days, but still wasn't good. Syracuse's effort against Texas A&M led me to the Barbary Coast bar and the comfort of video blackjack and comp'd rum and Cokes. Ellis Island and their $1 beers (Light, Regular, Weiss, and Root) also aided my plan to forget about stupid Gerry McNamera and the Orange.

Friday was St. Patty's day and I'll just do this for a recap:

Screw Michigan State (although now losing to George Mason doesn't seem so bad)
Walking to the Stratosphere from the Wynn takes a long time
Footballs full of Pina Colada are really good before turning into a job to finish the last third
Finding a cab in downtown Vegas is harder than one would think
Ellis still has a great restaurant with great prices
Screw Michigan State!!!

JT recapped Saturday pretty well already, but I just want to reiterate how hilarious the guy dancing and the karaoke video of Play that Funky Music were to all of us and that MP was extra drunk that night to make things even funnier. That helped get our minds off of the stupid Pistons and JH Naners losing streak reach a day and a half. (As you might have gathered from his post, he was not able to end that streak before leaving Vegas)

That's about it for my recap.

BBL

Life is a cold, hard bitch

2006-03-26T11:25:00.000-07:00

You broke my heart, Antoine. Imagine going through a rough few days. Every decision you make is the wrong one. If the butterfly effect focused on you, the world would cease to exist a short time later. Every instinct you have is faulty. You begin to doubt yourself. You feel your competency and everything you thought you knew just slipping away. And just when you think you're about to get your life back on track, Antoine Walker makes a three pointer with two seconds left and the Heat already leading 108-100 to break the over by one point.

Why must you haunt me like that, Antoine? I didn't call for your head when you were missing layup after layup a couple years ago. Sure I cracked a few fat jokes, but come on, you were the Daunte Culpepper of the NBA. Maybe you were still upset about Uconn beating your alma mater (yes that is their license plate) earlier in the day, but did you have to take it out on me? I will not hold a grudge against you despite your unnecessary padding of your stats and de-padding of my wallet. But let's just say when you make some critical error in the playoffs this year, I will not feel sorry for you. You just don't toy around with a man down on his luck like you did and get away with it.

J.H. Naners

OHHHH DID YOU FEEL THAT!!?!??!?!?!

2006-03-25T21:31:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting in Ellis Island last week, some people call it "The Gateway to $1 Beers," and I'm playing blackjack. Things hadn't gone well all trip, Syracuse and Michigan State had already lost and I was down a couple hundred bucks. I was sitting next to my friend Phil and this dealer was just crushing us. Every so often I glance to my left, a man is in the anchor position, actually he was playing hands in both of the last two spaces. He was probably sixty, grey hair, a strange outfit (like a guy who rode in the Tour de France about thirty years ago and hasn't changed clothes since) and two watches on his right arm. This guy kept getting great hands and when he would win he would gasp in a strained voice, "Oh thank you Jesus!!! Thank you Jesus!!! OHHHHH did you feel that?" and naturally I replied, "I did feel that one, I felt it." Then he looked me straight in the eye and said, "It takes poise." I had no idea what the hell he was talking about, but I should have listened because I promptly lost $100.

I ask you reader, is there a better place on earth to make you feel better about losing $100 than a karaoke bar, and apparently Ellis Island has a pretty damn good one!!! We sat down at a table in the back where we couldn't really see the singers, but we could definately see a 30-year-old nerdy looking guy dancing by himself, seemingly in a rhythm only he could hear. His style was very hippyish, lots of long languid movements, and he often stuck on arm straight above his head and danced like that for awhile. We were all mesmorized, watching this characiture of a man when all of the sudden a very drunk young lady sat down in BBL's, yes BBL's, lap.Well, evidently Bobby wasn't into her because he said, "I think you broke my hand." Well she was all like, "Talk to the hand" after that.

This is only part of the story however and where it gets a little cloudy for me. BBL will have to take it from here. All I remember is that "Play that Funky Music White Boy" came on the karaoke and a video went up on the screen that went with the song and it was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

JT.

It's Madness!!!

2006-03-15T04:04:00.000-07:00

Well that time of the year is upon us when work productivity takes a sharp decline, people are obsessed with sheets with connecting lines on them, and two bald idiots can rant endlessly with millions watching. It's March Madness time people! This is the greatest time of the year with seemingly endless days of college buckets filled with great players, great upsets, and great finishes. Awesome Inc. will be in Vegas for these four hoops-filled days and a finer place we could not be. When you combine the greatness of Vegas with the greatness of March Madness you have a perfect storm of awesomeness!
We will have a complete recap of the goings on in Sin City upon our return, but for now here are BBL's picks for the Big Dance:

Biggest Upset in the First Round - Utah State over Washington
Best Game in the First Round - Arkansas vs. Bucknell

Biggest Upset in the Second Round - Seton Hall over Tennessee
Best Game in the Second Round - Kansas vs. Pittsburgh

Biggest Upset in the Sweet 16 - Kansas over Memphis
Best Game in the Sweet 16 - Villanova vs. Boston College

Elite 8 - Duke over Texas, Kansas over Gonzaga, UConn over North Carolina, Villanova over Georgetown

Final 4 - Duke over Kansas, UConn over Villanova

Championship - UConn over Duke

Until next week!!

BBL

Have I Got a Deal For You!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-03-08T15:51:00.000-07:00

I know how you kids like your music, just take a look at the post below, you can't get enough of the stuff. I mean, it's on the radio, records, tapes and now cd's!!!! They even have these ipods now, you can actually download music from the computer to these machines and listen to the music anywhere!!! The only problem is that each song costs $.99. Not free like they used to be during the Napster days. Well, you know what else isn't free? Freedom. So here's my offer, I'll just write it down here and slide it across the table to you, see that impish glint in my eye? You know you won't be able to turn this down!!! Just click on that link below.

Here you go.

Can you believe it?!!!? Three FREE songs!!!! And you will probably listen to them all the time where you will be going. I don't know if I can stress this enough...that's $2.97 worth of music. All you have to do is let someone call you every day for the next five years trying to get you to go to Iraq. Most of you 'hipsters' with the ipods out there are teetering on the edge of trotting down to the recruitment office and signing up anyway, well if three free songs doesn't push you over the edge then I'm not sure what will. Just sign there and I'll give you a hearty handshake and send you on your way!!

For those of you already serving in Iraq, we are working on getting you adequate body army and Hum-Vee plating, but you might be getting some new friends with three FREE songs!!!!

JT (To all those serving, get home soon)

PS Best shirt ever?

And Monkeys might fly out my butt!!

2006-03-06T02:32:00.000-07:00

It's been a week without any posts here at Awesome Inc., so I thought I'd chime in with a short and sweet music review. We don't talk much about the music scene on this blog, mostly because there is usually very little to talk about, but there are three albums that have come out/will come out soon that are fantastic and should be mentioned.
Firstly, a new British rock band called the Arctic Monkeys (How cool is that name by the way?!?) and they have skyrocketed up my list of favorite bands and into the top 5. Every song on their album "Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not" is fantastic. Cop it! Here's their video for "When the Sun Goes Down." For fans of the movie Snatch, you'll notice that Stephen Graham, who played Tommy, is in this video as well.

Secondly, a fav group of mine for a while now is Blackalicious and they have a new album out that is on par with their older stuff. The 'licious has come a long ways from playing in front of the U of Nebraska Union to having a semi-hit with Make Me Feel that Way off a prior album "Blazing Arrow". The Gift of Gab is one of the best rappers going right now I believe and definitely worth a listen.
Finally, I'm highly anticipating the release of the full album by The Raconteurs. The band is made up of Jack White of The White Stripes and his friends, so that alone means there is potential. The fact that the first two singles from the album are awesome make it very likely that the rest of the tracks will live up to the high standard set by The White Stripes. The full album releases in May, so check it out then.
Feel free to comment on any of these bands or some others out there we should check out.

BBL

I Ain't 'Fraid of No Ghost

2006-02-27T21:56:00.000-07:00

Well Ray Parker Jr. I have a ghost in my house. Yep, my water turns on without human hands. There are sounds of things falling down in the lower story when I am upstairs and upon inspection I can find nothing out of place. Laundry detergent, arranged with laserlike precision by the ol' lady, shifts in the space of two hours with no humans descending to the basement. Once we were both upstairs there was a sound that sounded kind of like if one of those swinging doors in the basement, the doors are kind of like cowboy saloon doors that kind of swing a couple times before closing. We went downstairs and found the doors open and nothing amiss.

And now the strangest piece of poltergeistery. I was setting down a stack of papers on a shelf in my tv room. Just before I set the papers down a small handheld game, 20 questions, turned on by itself on the shelf above. The game beeped away without being touched and without any of the buttons touching anything solid. That scared me. Then I leaned over to looked at the small digital screen and a message scrolled across, "I know what you're thinking."

So if anyone knows how to do a seance so we can see our paranormal friend, come on over and have a go. Maybe it's a really hot female ghost (3-way?) or it could be a demon spawn of Satan come to claim my soul for everlasting hell-fire. Well, either way it needs to let me get to my all important task of watching the Mclaughlin Group and eating cottage cheese.

BYE BYE

JT (Hopefully this site is back up. These are really dumb, but the one with Sam Jackson made me laugh for 4:30 minutes straight. Release date on "Snakes on a Plane" is September 2006.

Tearing up the Stratosphere!!!

2006-02-24T18:39:00.000-07:00

What better way to start a new century of Awesomeinc posts than to discuss a little place I like to call Las Vegas (you may know it as Heaven). As you are all probably all aware, we are just a few short weeks away from an inevitably awesome trip to the greatest city on the planet. Seriously, the first four days of the NCAA tournament, free alcohol, blackjack, and THIS! (seriously, watch the video, it's awesome!). That's right people, that's the new ride at The Stratosphere called Insanity! (top photo) Now, I've rode the Big Shot before, but Insanity is simply out of control! I mean honestly, you are sitting in a chair hanging over the side of a frieking skyscraper!

I know I can't wait to get on that bad boy. Now if only it came with a way to watch some sweet first-round toruney action.....

Vegas #1!!!

MP

You've come a long way, Awesome Inc.

2006-02-20T17:24:00.000-07:00

Man, to think that it was just five short months ago that Awesome, Inc. began its slow, but inevitable takeover of the world. And here we are. The 100th post.

Yes, we here at The Inc. have only just begun, but I thought it would be proper to celebrate our 100th post with a look back at our blog so far. With idea recaps like this, I could work as a television programmer.

Since the inception, we've gotten in a fight with a Creighton fan (Fuck you, Creighton) and it appears a new battle against the South could carry us strong into the next 100 posts (Fuck you too, slavery).

MP has covered everything from coffee shops to why college basketball kicks ass. BBL has brought some nice reports from various athletic events being as he is on vacation more than President Bush. I've touched on the best season, alligators, and other things that pretty much nobody gives a shit about, but I'll continue writing about anyway. NW (peach fuzz) gave a glimpse of muy excelente posting albeit just once. Let's go, NW! And JT, well, JT pretty much writes about everything and is 75% of our blog. That drop off due to school and work has been startling by the way.

It's only a small step from getting a free copy of Grounded for Life Season One and being a lottery ticket from 1st and O st.

Here's to continued awesomeness.

- J.H Naners

Hey South, What the Hell is Wrong with You Guys?

2006-02-20T16:44:00.000-07:00

South, we've had our differences, but lately things are getting out of hand. There are two things that have pissed me off recently. 1)Nascar and 2) Your Politics.

1) You know where I stand on Nascar. Jimmie Johnson (It's Jimmy you fools!) Does it make any sense that when people mess up in your sport, everyone gets excited? A bunch of cars wreck and that's a highlight? That's like cheering for a sideline warning in football, or a double dribble in hoops.

2) Your politics. I don't care that you are conservative, that's fine. I just can't understand how you can act all high and mighty like you have cornered the market on morality. I mean come on, THIS happened SIX YEARS AGO!!!! You've given us Timothy McVeigh, Eric Rudolph, and that creepy kid from Deliverance You even still have some irrational reverence for the Confederate Flag. You know what I don't see a lot of? Royals jersies from the last two years, you know why? Because they are terrible terrible losers.(Nothing personal guys) You guys not only got your asses kicked, but you were fighting for the worst cause ever. Not only was it treason to secede from the United States but you only did so to keep slavery, and don't give me that, "Slavery wasn't the only reason for the Civil War." And don't say "War Between the States," we won, we get to decide what things are called. So don't feel like you are better people than us here in the North. The U.S. is still recovering from all the crap you guys and your relatives pulled. Everyone in the South who isn't a redneck, holier-than-thou, moralist, Nascar fan, we're cool.

JT (USA RULES)

NASCAR Sucks

2006-02-19T11:56:00.000-07:00

Well it's Dayoton 500 time again and that can only mean one thing, it's almost time for Spring Training games to start. Is there anything more dumb than having your biggest race at the very beginning of your "season?"

I know NASCAR has become popular in our country in the last few years. Hundreds of thousands attend races every week and millions watch on TV. This is proof of how stupid many people are. Seriously, this is your fan base!!! Three hours of turning left, pit stops and the occasional accident just don't do it for me. I've heard people say that the "sport" is fun to watch in person, well I don't believe you. I would rather watch soccer than this garbage.

I refuse to acknowledge NASCAR as a sport. Driving around in a circle is not a sport. Driving is not a sport. I don't care if they are going really fast. You know what else goes fast? The Earth's rotation, and that's fucking really boring to watch. So today I could watch the Daytona 500 or this soccer "friendly" between the US and Guatamala...or I could just kill myself.

Thanks for using all our gas and killing a lot of people via cigarettes, you suck.

jt

Mike Tyson's Punch Out was Totally Sweet

2006-02-16T16:43:00.000-07:00

Today we have 124 bits, Hi-def capabilities, live on line play and slim cd-style disks. Even with all that technology most games today can't touch Mike Tyson's Punch Out. The game was released in 1987 and is still totally awesome. The best part of the game was unquestionalby the characters.

If Hollywood had any brains (or balls) they would make a feature film about each of Little Mac's foes in Punch Out. Glass Joe, Piston Honda, Don Flemenco, Bald Bull, Piston Honda, Macho Man, King Hippo, Sandman, Soda Popinski, and of course, the nearly unbeatable Mike Tyson. I don't really have any new or interesting thoughts to add about this game, I just wanted to give it some kudos for kicking ass.

JT

Let's Go Curling!!!!!!!!!!

2006-02-15T17:45:00.000-07:00

Where the hell do people curl at? This has to be the easiest Olympic sport to qualify for. The only curlers in the US live in Minnesota, Michigan and Northern New York. Where do they practice? Being from Nebraska I just don't understand these things.

However, I freaking love this game. It's a hell of a lot like my favorite bar game, shuffleboard, except with ice and brooms. It's also the only game where the competitors are mic'ed up. Then, there's the girls.

The US team has some hotties on it and the Russians look pretty good too. Here is another major difference from barroom shuffleboard, NO HOT GIRLS PLAY SHUFFLEBOARD.

So let's do this US teams, you need to pick it up a little bit so I can watch more curling.

JT

Awesome Inc. on campus again

2006-02-09T04:29:00.000-07:00

After receiving a lot of love for last fall's "On Campus" blog, where I recapped my trip to Northwestern's Evanston campus for the Iowa/NW football game, I've decided to do another installment of "On Campus". This time I drove up to Madison, Wisconsin for the much anticipated hockey game between #2 Wisconsin and #4 Minnesota. I had already experienced a Badger hockey game before, so I knew it was a great time, but this game had more meaning for me. Gopher star Ryan Potulny used to play in Lincoln for the junior team there and lived with Awesome Inc.'s JT's parents, so I know him a little bit and was looking forward to seeing him play in person.
This was a solo trip, which is a very common occurance for me now that I've moved, but it was still a great time. I got to Madison around 5 pm and found a pretty good parking spot right on campus within walking distance of both State Street and the Kohl Center. I'd already experienced the greatness that is the UW campus on two prior trips to Madison, so I did not have to check it out on this trip. I headed straight for State Street looking for some grub. For those who've never been to Madison, State Street is the bar/restaurant area of town and connects the campus with the Wisconsin Capital building. It is one of the best setups for any college town with Austin's Sixth Street, Arizona State's Mill Street, and UCLA's entire Westwood area being a few other examples of great college areas.
If you didn't know, Wisconsin loves its brats, so what better place to grab some dinner than State Street Brats. It's a very cool sports bar that was packed when I walked in. I managed to find a solo seat upstairs and ordered up a burger and brat. That is not two seperate orders, but a burger with a sliced brat on top! It was quite unusual, but very tasty. I highly recommend this place if you're in Madison and looking for a casual place to eat before a hockey, football, or basketball game. There were lots of Gopher fans in town, so that made it even more fun with their Minnesota chants going on all the time.
I moved on to the Kohl Center as game time was approaching. I made sure to get my ticket in the section right next to the student section, so I could take in all their craziness. The arena is amazing and has to be one of the top college hockey facilities in the nation. The crowd was a bit late arriving, but I'm sure it was because they needed to down that last beer or eight before getting there. The game was a sellout, so lots of energy for the big matchup. Like the football game I went to last fall, the Badger students love their dancing and singing. Before the puck drops the whole student section looks like this:

Along with many renditions of "On Wisconsin" and other songs like "Time Warp" and the theme from "2001: A Space Odyssey", there is so much coordinated dancing that you can't help but have a good time at Badger hockey games. They also have a great celebration for when a power play is coming up for Wisconsin. They say "Power...Plaaaaay" twice and then just start jumping up and down. Take a look:

As for the game itself, the Gophers jumped out to a 5-1 lead after two periods, so the crowd was kind of out of it by then, but the Badgers stormed back with three goals in the first six minutes of the 3rd period to make things very interesting. The crowd was going crazy and it was a fun finish, but Minnesota was able to hang on 5-4. I didn't really know who to go for since I knew Ryan, but love the Badger atmosphere. This worked out pretty well b/c Ryan had a career high four assists and the game ended up close enough to keep the fans into it until the end, which is want I really wanted. All in all a great time! Would be nice to experience the Madison nightlife a bit more on another trip, but heading to the bars by myself didn't sound too appealing. Until next time....

"When you say Wisconsin! You've said it all!"

BBL

Tommy's Quotes: 2-4 Magic

2006-02-05T09:36:00.000-07:00

Not too much today out of Tommy.

"And Pierce got fouled (chuckle) please. Pierce got fouled please, he got knocked down, he got hit on the arm. PLEASE!!!"

After Paul Pierce hit Steve Fracis in the face during a shot: "That's a no call!"

"The weather wasn't good today! I'm going to talk to the chamber of commerce!"

By the way Magic, how can you still have pinstripes on your uniforms? Honestly it totally looks like crap. There's a reason that Houston got rid of them.

Tommy's Highlights: 2-3 vs. Clippers

2006-02-03T20:11:00.000-07:00

Tommy’s Quotes

"Big men have to run back fast when they’re trying to protect."

"Tony’s been having a little pain problem, and he needs to deal with it."

"NO LOLLIGAGGING IN BASKETBALL!! It’s not in the rules!!!!!!!"

"After a 3-second call “I like that call, he’s in there lighting a fire.”

"When Sam Cassell is forced to retire he is liable to cry, BIG tears too."

"I love Walta!!! Out on the West Coast!!!"

It's Your Lucky Day Bill Simmons

2006-02-02T17:24:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about doing something like this for a long time, but Bill Simmons has motivated me to make it happen. People like fellow Awesome Inc. writer BBL get annoyed when I bitch about NBA League Pass putting on the other team's announcers in any game in which the Celtics appear. Mike Gorman and Tommy Heinsohn are hands down the most entertaining announcers in the NBA. Mike is always on top of things and Tommy is capable of breaking off a crazy comment after starting with, "I tell ya what..." So why would you ever put, say, the Bucks announcers instead of Gorman and Heinsohn? I'm not sure, but to better celebrate the genius of Tommy Heinsohn I am going to take the Sports Guy's suggestion: "I can’t believe nobody has created a website that writes down all his quotes during games - how many times do we have to hear things like “You know who Orien Greene remind me of on that play? Oscar Robertson!” before that happens?

I watch ever C's game on League Pass anyway, so I'll do my best to keep track of Tommy's divinely inspired ramblings.

A few of my best Tommy memories:

1. Screaming at referee Dee Kantner after she made yet another terrible call. (Never let your owner design your uniforms Cavs)
2. That car commercial where Mike is calling a fictional game while Tommy busily types away at a computer trying to enter a car contest, he face at the end of the ad is both hilarious and hauntingly creepy.

There will surely be more to come and we will never forget them now that they will be documented on Awesome Inc.

JT(Was there any reason that Damon Wayans got shut of the Oscars for this film?)

PS If anyone could create a website that could erase from my brain everything that Pistons PA guy John Mason (AKA the devil incarnate) has ever said, I would gladly pay you.

BBL note - Here's the great Mason (yes he likes to go by one name) and his signature line "Deeee-troit Basketball!" Amazingly enough this is trademarked by either the Pistons or Mason on the Pistons website. Keep up the good work Mason. Don't let JT bring you down!

BBL (Thanks to Pistons.com for the audio)

Must Suck to Play in the MLB

2006-02-01T17:47:00.000-07:00

Stumbled across this website thanks to deadspin.com. Seems that this group of ladies discusses the off-field transgressions of all your favorite Major League Players. Apparently if you play baseball for a living and earn millions of dollars a year the ladies are fairly attracted to to you, even if you are husky like Sir Sidney Ponson. Now when you work in a University Library, bowling night is the highlight of your week and are married, it doesn't quite work like that.

So in honor of the On The DL website, here's my list of the guaranteed biggest pimps in Major League Baseball.

5. Julian Tavares: Simply a handsome man.
4. Bob Hamelin: The Hammer won Rookie of the Year. Wow.
3. Don Zimmer: Maybe the most lovable old man ever.
2. Oil Can Boyd This guy actually is a pimp. Get back to the Big Leagues Can!!!!!!!!!!
1. Otis Nixon: The former speed burner has retired, he is currently working at the Ancient Egypt division of the British Museum in Londan as a mummy.

JT

I Once Was Lost....But Now I'm Found

2006-01-29T16:10:00.000-07:00

For years I have been adrift in a sea of morose and melancholy feeling. Not sure who to trust or what to believe in. Just when you think you find something worth while it all goes up in flames. Well, I am rudderless no more. Thanks to my new spiritual guide Anna Benson, I feel good about myself. My moral compass is set directly to Her Holiness' website annabenson.net. Her you can find her thoughts on gun control, PETA, Michael Moore and Hurricane Katrina. She isn't afraid to take extreme views either. I'm sure you've never heard anyone say this before, but Anna thinks Michael Moore is overweight!!!! I am so jealous for the people of Baltimore. To have her will only make your city and the Orioles better. She is powerful too, she engineered her husband's trade to the O's. "She also showed up at the Mets' holiday party in December, where Anna Benson dressed as Santa Claus, in a low-cut Santa costume, a move that upset some in the organization."I am sexy and I don't shy away from that," she said in a statement."-ESPN.com

When you need some help getting through the day, or need an answer to a tough question, go to Anna, a former stripper, she will show you the way.

"Basically, I think that if you don’t want to own a gun, you shouldn’t. Oh, and good luck with that knife."-Anna Benson

Wiser words were never written.

JT

College Basketball Kicks Ass

2006-01-28T12:53:00.000-07:00

I've come to the conclusion this year that college basketball is now my second favorite sport, only behind major league baseball. I can't really explain what it is that makes it such a great sport, but here are a few of the things that I think contribute to its awesomeness.

-Late night west coast games on Big Monday: Honestly, is there anything better than watcing Gonzaga-Santa Clara at midnight on a Monday. No, that is awesome. The crowds in the West Coast Conference are super intense and the games are played in very small gyms compared to what's seen in the super conferences. It seems as though there's always one or two players in either the WAC or the WCC that are awesome, but have not gotten the run they deserve. Just to name a few: Danny Granger (New Mexico last year), Andrew Bogut (Utah last year), Adam Morrison (although he's getting the well-deserved pub this year at Gonzaga), and Nick Fazekus (totally awesome, and totally skinny center for Nevada).

-Good ESPN coverage: Unlike its college football shows, which consist of little more than has-been blowhards commenting about teams they know absolutely nothing about (i.e. Mark May, Lou Holtz, Lee Corso, Rocket), ESPN's coverage of college basketball is very good. Digger Phelps gives some truly insightful commentary, Seth Davis is solid, Steve Lavin is very, very good, and Doug Gottlieb just plain kicks total ass!! Mix-in the fact that they have Rick Majerus giving some of the most informative play-by-play in the business--Ashley Judd comments aside--and you have some excellent coverage! Think about it....as annoying as Dick Vitale may be, at least it is obvious that he follows the sport very closely. Compared to Lee "whoever has the most turnovers will lose, now give me a ridiculous hat" Corso, and, well, there's no comparison. Keep it up ESPN, this is about the only thing you do well these days!

Anyways, here's my favorites to win the title 2/3 through the season.

My top 5:

1. Michigan St.- I love this team. They have everything you need to win in the tournament in that their guards are awesome and they have a legit big man in Paul Davis. Ironically, I have only seen them play live twice this season and they lost both times (Illinois and Michigan). However, both those games were on the road against good teams, and Dee Brown was frieking on fire for Illinois.

2. Duke-As much as I hate to admit it, they are really, really good. In fact, they're probably only #2 out of spite. Hey J.J., why don't you either 1) stop looking like you should suck, but still dominate, or 2) go straight to hell.

3. Texas-Really coming on strong now. They will be tough for anyone to beat with Aldredge dominating like he is.

4. Gonzaga-This is the first year that I've really been sold on the Zags. They've played a brutal schedule and have held-up very well. Plus, they have Adam Morrison who just kicks so much ass, it's unreal. Ravio is an awesome ballhandler and they have a good big man in Batista.

5. Villanovia-I realize this is a bit of a reach and all hinges on whether or not Curtis Sumpter comes back and is the player he was last year. If he doesn't, then they likely won't get past the second round. However, their guards are unmatched in the country, and he is awesome. If he comes back and plays well, watch out.

Others I really like (in no particular order)

-Illinois
-Indiana
-UConn (although I'm getting the "huge upset" vibe here for some reason).

MP

2006-01-25T19:05:00.000-07:00

Look Warriors, I know things aren't going that great out there in Golden State. First of all I'd be pissed if my team didn't have a city or a state in its name. How about Bay Area, or Oakland, or something. You are 19-21, underachieving and have locker room problems. Mike Dunleavy hates Baron Davis and Monte isn't the most popular guy either. So I propose this: Fire Mike Montgomery and let him coach the Nebraska basketball team. Let Mario Elie take over and everything will be alright.

JT

And I Thought I Was A Loser

2006-01-23T18:37:00.000-07:00

Well I waste my share of time on the internet, but not as much as these guys. Now I know urinals are important in today's modern world, but c'mon, a whole web site? I'm more of a trough guy, so maybe that's where we differ, but please, go help humanity or post some funny pictures of shit on the internet or something, enough with the toilets.

JT

Jamie's Top Five Lincoln Restaurants

2006-01-23T18:10:00.000-07:00

Check out our friend Steve's site eatininlincoln.com to find the most honest and best restaurant reviews in the Capital City. He and Sarah's take on the top 5 eateries in town inspired me to come up with my own list.

Dinner
1. The Dish- The most elegant restaurant not in the Cornhusker, the Dish offers a menu of American Fusion food. Great steaks, wonderful appetizers and an ecclectic mixture of other dishes makes the Dish a great bet. Try the crab dip, the Steak Pomme Frites and any of their super desserts.
2. The Oven
3. The Venue
4. Misty's
5. House of Hunan- 48th and Leighton

Lunch
1. Duggan's Pub
2. D'Leons
3. Fred and Ruby's (Inside Parkway Lanes)
4. Bison Witches
5. Maggie's

Hidden Gems
1. El Sitio
2. Highway Diner (Just for Fries)
3. Oso Burrito
4. The Watering Hole
5. Rolling Wok

JT

ORTON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-01-22T18:27:00.000-07:00

Kyle Orton had a good year with wins, bad year with numbers. Although he only lost one game he lost his starting job to All-World (at least for Chicago) Rex Grossman. Apparently he just had to party after the Bears got rocked by the Panthers. There are two things I find hilarious about this picture. First, Orton is dancing by himself in a club. You're an NFL QB Kyle, you should have girls hanging all over you. Secondly, he has an entire bottle of Clicquot and he's drinking it by himself. That stuff is about $50 a pop and he's just slamming it in a club.

Well Bears, you had all better start drinking way more, because the Vikings are going to inflict some serious pain on you next year.

Thanks Collegehumor.com for the pic

JT

Get that gator out of my yard

2006-01-22T11:56:00.000-07:00

I just finished watching a show about these guys that catch alligators in residential neighborhoods in Florida. Two things struck me about this.

One- I didn't know that the Fish and Wildlife Commission was the most powerful agency in Florida even more so than the FBI or DEA. I'm not legal savvy, but I think it has something to do with the fact that they can enter anyone's house if they think they are a poacher without any warrant or anything and can go on anyone's property to take care of business.

Two- There are a lot of people in Florida who didn't think about the fact that there are 1.5 million gators in the state and they proceed to build houses on lakes. Then this lady was interviewed saying how every time her kids went in the backyard to play, this gator would be close by in the lake. Well, maybe you shouldn't put your kid's swing 15 feet away from a lake with no barrier, you moron.

Now, I am really, really afraid of alligators. Those things are fast and just plain scary looking. However, I say, if you decide to move in an area that obviously is a place gators might hang you, it's your own damn fault if you get eaten. Leave the gators there. They didn't just walk into your living room and kick you out to have you killed and sold for meat and skin. You don't move to the top lip of a volcano and then complain about the heat.

J.H. Naners

P.S. Gators aren't that intimidating to most Nebraskans.

I've Got Your Back Bill Simmons

2006-01-19T18:06:00.000-07:00

Just in case you haven't heard, Isiah Thomas threatened ESPN Columnist and perhaps the funniest man in the world Bill Simmons. During an interview with Stephan A Smith (At the end of the day, Ra-sho Nesterovic) Isiah said, "Oh, there'd be a problem. And I'm gonna tell you, if I see this guy Bill Simmons, oh it's gonna be a problem with me and him." Why is Isiah threatening a Bullet Tooth Tony style beatdown of Simmons? Because Simmons wrote that Isiah is a bad GM and was a bad coach. Well hell, Marcus Allen and Dan Fouts could have told you that Isiah! I'm not sure what you want him to write Zeke, you have taken a franchise that was down and you buried it deeper than Billy Batts in Goodfellas. You signed Jerome James to a five year $30 million deal, and he is averaging 3.4 points, 2.5 rebounds and 10.4 minutes this year. Have fun trying to move that contract. This is only one of the terrible moves that you have made.

Anyway, don't worry about it Bill, we here at Awesome INC will watch out for you.

Just be careful, I heard he likes to sweep the legAnd if he's with this guy, just run the other way.

New ESPN.com setup

2006-01-19T17:45:00.000-07:00

What do I think about it? The new page setup will take some getting used to, but it definately is fancier and more futuristic. As long as it's easy to get to page 2 and Bill Simmons column I'll be happy.

Check this out though. A look back at what ESPN.com (or ESPNET.sportszone.com) has looked like over the past 10 years. Wow I'm getting so old. It is encouraging to see how far the internet has come since I was 14. What the hell will be going on in 2016? I know, I know, hot robots who clean the house, projects sports from a camera in her eye, and cooks (if we aren't eating our food in pill form by then).

JT

Links of the Week

2006-01-15T22:05:00.000-07:00

I waste a lot of time looking at websites with funny links, you shouldn't have to. Instead of killing four hours jacking around on the internet I will distill the best of the best for you every week. Tell your boss or professors to thank me.

I thought Clayton Bigsby was a fictional character: guess not.

I wonder why this never came to a theater in this Lincoln?

I'm working on my dissertation on this subject.

I've been wondering what those fuckers were saying...

I wonder if this kid is the Pokemon master yet...

Night of the Twisters pretty much freaked me out when I was a kid, it probably looked something like this.

This guy drops like a plinko chip. Come on DOWN

Sometimes I kind of wish we would have lost the Revolutionary War...HERE

Yep, the terrorists are in BIG trouble.

I'm inviting this kid to my next party...

I could seriously watch this all day, I am actually thinking about converting to whatever religion this guy belongs to.

Exhibit A: Japanese people are crazy (crazy like a fox)What would happen if they put Stomp around those girls?

A clip from one of the best shows on TV, "The Soup." Ain't nobody humpin around in this clip.

Apparently these pics are going to be everywhere soon. See them before your friends, unless these guys are your friends then you've already seen them, and I feel very very sorry for you.

Thanks to all the sites, keep up the good work.

Seriously Oregon, What the Hell is Going On?

2006-01-15T20:29:00.000-07:00

I've never been to Oregon, but I've always had a good impression of the state. I picture natural beauty, the ocean, Lewis and Clark, Portland "The Rose City," and the Columbia river. I don't usually picture people wearing crazy freak clothes. I'm not even talking about all the hippies out there, that's cool, they are much better dressed than people with a connection to the Oregon Ducks. I know Nike pays you guys a lot of money, but you can say, "You know what Phil Knight, I think we're going to pass on that crazy storm trooper mustard colored uniforms, can you show me something not totally insane?" I wasn't bothered by your whining about not being in the BCS because Notre Dame was overrated and you should have been there. But did you seriously think that you, Oregon, could beat a team dressed in classic, tough, non-ugly uniform like Oklahoma? Of course your quarterback threw a pick on the game-winning drive, he was wearing this! Everyone in the world knows that green and yellow is the worst color combo in history, yet you put as much of these two colors in your uni's as possible. The basketball uniforms are nothing to be happy about either.

Maybe since your campus looks like this you guys feel like you need to inject some ugliness into your lives. But please knock it off, it hurts my eyes to watch you on tv.

JT

More on Oregon's uniform woes can be found on ESPN.com where Paul Lukas' writes brilliantly on all aspects of uniforms. Also thanks to him for the Oregon band picture.

PS: Apparently the band uniforms have numbers on the back, just like the players.

An Exact Voice Match

2006-01-11T20:59:00.000-07:00

Alright, I'm back from my leave a little early, but this is important stuff. I'm watching the Texas A&M at Oklahoma State hoops game on ESPN2 and If I didn't know the annoucer was Steve Bardo I would swear I was listenting to the legendary Humpty of Digital Underground. Shock-G's big nosed character is freaking awesome anyway you cut it. And that video with Tupac skipping around in the background. Anyway, .... sounds just like him. Next time he does a game take a listen and judge for yourself. Also, you might want to take a gander at the mythic Tony Batista/Carson Daly phenomena. You might call me crazy (but you'd be wrong) but these two guys are only a little melanin away from being the same person. We just need to see if Carson Daly hits like this.

JT (And no Humpty, I've never "got busy" here)

BBL editor's note - The announcer is Steve Bardo, who played on the awesome Illini teams back in the late 80's. Not sure where he'll be next, but sounds like he's a must listen!

A Personal Leave of Absence

2006-01-11T09:55:00.000-07:00

I regret to announce that my posts will be appearing fewer and farther between in the coming months. Sadly, my life is going to look a lot like fellow Awesome Inc. poster MP. 30 hours of work a week, that's just crazy. Can't you people get enough of Lewis and Clark secondary sources on the internet? That is in addition to 6 hours of grad level classes. One class has 18 books, EIGHTEEN BOOKS. That is totally insane. Due to this heavy courseload and workload I must taper off the writing for a bit, but don't worry, I will chime in every once in a while with a tidbit here and there. Until then, stay strong.

JT (I'll probably look a little something like this after all this work)

The state of SNL

2006-01-10T00:20:00.000-07:00

Saturday Night Live has been around for over a quarter of a century now and has certainly gone through its ups and downs, but I have to think that right now is as low as it has ever been. Ever since the group of Sandler, Farley, Spade, Hartman, Myers, and Carvey left it had been carried very well by pretty much one man: Will Ferrell.

Well Ferrell has since left to star in two of the best movies of all-time: Old School and Anchorman. So it was a great move for him, but left SNL in a heap of trouble. They have yet to find somebody to play President Bush as well as Ferrell did and it seems as if the writing has taken a steep downturn as well. Maybe SNL needs the next election to get back into a groove, but that's two years away still. There is still some talent left on the show with UCB founder Amy Poehler, long-time SNL writer and news co-host Tina Fey, Chris Parnell, and new featured player Andy Samberg, but that is not enough to make up for the huge void left by Ferrell and those greats before him. A new crop of greats will come along again I'm sure, but for now SNL is in quite a slump that may last for a while. Although it's been a down time for the Not-ready-for-Primetime Players, here's a bright spot from Parnell and Samberg. More of this comic genius and SNL could be right back near the top sooner rather later.

"Lazy Sunday - Chronicles of Narnia Rap"

BBL

You Were My Boy Blue

2006-01-08T01:14:00.000-07:00

Awesome Inc. learned some tragic news late tonight apparently world famous character actor Patrick Cranshaw passed away December 28 at the age of 86. Some of you might remember Cranshaw as "Blue" from Old School. Yet his career was not restricted to that classic film. Mr. Cranshaw also appeared in Bonnie and Clyde, Best in Show, Herbie: Fully Loaded, and most notably Pee-Wee's Big Adventure. His last role came in Air Buddies, he appeared in the entire Air Bud saga. He even showed up in JH Naners favorite film, Nothing to Lose.

He was also a frequent contributer to great tv shows including: The Norm Show, 7th Heaven, Monk, Boy Meets World, Suddenly Susan, Coach, Married With Children, Night Court, Perfect Strangers...actually it looks like he's been on every great sitcom ever made.

Blue was an awesome character who made us all laugh, and will make us laugh in the future because his films will live on. But Cranshaw was absolutely everywhere in his career. I congratulate him on his awesome life and hope he rests in peace.

"All we are is dust in the wind."

Build me a better supporting cast or I'm out of here!

2006-01-07T18:23:00.000-07:00

Alright, I love sports and I love trades, but athletes are starting a trend that I'm not happy with. Demanding trades.

Guess what, Miguel Tejada? When you left a contending Oakland team to sign with shitty Baltimore, you should have known you weren't going to be on a great team. When the Orioles have to give you a large percentage of its payroll to get you, it's going to be harder to get a good supporting cast around you.

When you sign a contract to play with a team, you need to not be an ass and stir up the clubhouse by demanding a trade. Tejada probably could have survived on $7 million a year or whatever Oakland could have afforded to pay him, but you wanted bigger money. That's fine. There is nothing wrong with wanting more money if someone will give it to you, but then you need to lay in the bed you chose. Have the forsight to understand that you're going to a team with Sidney Ponson as their ace. Of course, you're not going to be very good.

My office has only two marginally good looking women in it, but you don't see me asking to be traded to the Tempe branch, do you? Nope, I'll take my free cable and like it.

Now Tejada says he doesn't want to be traded. What the hell? Were you just trying to waste hours of trade discussions and hard work from executives? Or maybe he's just tired of Baltimore's high std rates. Regardless, if you really want the Orioles to get better, restructure your contract so your making less than $10 million a year so a decent pitcher can be signed. Otherwise, just play and shut up.

J.H. Naners

Food Network is Full of Hotties!!!!!!

2006-01-07T10:07:00.000-07:00

Somehow Food Network has managed to put together a full stable of hotties in the kitchen without me noticing it. It all started with Rachel Ray and 30 Minute Meals. Some people think she's hot and some people (me) think she's super hot. Then she went in posed in FHM and things just got out of control. Then along came Giada De Laurentiis of Everyday Italian. Holy crap, not only does she have the single hottest name in the history of humanity, she is also gorgeous. Finally Sandra Lee started her show Semi-Homemade Cooking. Tall blonde and a great cook = hell yes. Sandra is a super hot too.

I compare this phenomena to the breakout of hot newsanchors on CNN Headline News (Sans Nancy Grace) (I love you Rudi Bakhtiar).

I don't know how or why this happened, but it's awesome. Keep up the good work ladies, I like you all, but let's see who the readers think is the best. And I don't want you readers to go off looks alone, take into account cooking also!

I Love Jenna Jameson, but......

2006-01-06T18:46:00.000-07:00

When I first saw this (NSFW!!!!!)I thought it was kind of sexy, but then I thought it was also kind of pervertadly disturbing. It's Jenna Jameson's "Virtual Jenna" game. Now I didn't pay the $9.95 that it would take to play the full game (didn't think the old lady would like that on the credit card bill) and I didn't download it for fear of getting some virus, either in my computer or an STD. It's kind of hot to see a naked 3D computer Jenna jiggling around in the preview, but then when that 3D guy starts nailing her with his strangly inanimate area it really creeped me out. Then she starts getting railed in the cooch with a bodiless dildo that is just floating in the air!!! Then, even stranger, the dildo decides her puss isn't good enough and starts firing in and out of her eh-hem, backside. Thankfully Jenna gets away from that dude and the flying dildo and starts getting it on with some hot computer chick. Well I thought this was pretty sweet too for a little bit but then I got to thinking, it's all guys buying this masterpiece, so it would be a guy controlling the girl dropping on Jenna, so it's like the guy is playing a girl going down on a girl. That's just really crazy and I can't decide if it's really hot or downright perturbing. So anyway, all you guys and girls go and check this out, hopefully I don't put myself in a mental institution trying to figure out if this is incredibly sexy or incredibly grotesque. Your input is needed.

Keep up the good work Jenna, you are to porn what Herve was to being awesome.

JT

NCAA Old Man Reivewers Suck

2006-01-06T17:23:00.000-07:00

Instant replay kicks ass, that's a simple fact. Nothing sucks worse than losing a game because a referee missed a tough call. So now we have a system in the NCAA where a couple guys up in a booth get to look at every play and decide whether to stop the action on the field and review the call. Sounds great doesn't it? A foolproof system, right? WRONG. Too often the replay officials choose the wrong plays to review. Plays that are obviously called correctly on the field are reviewed, plays that clearly are called incorrectly on the field are missed. I don't know about you, but I can tell what the call of the play should have been after two replays 95% of the time. So you figure looking at two replays takes ten seconds, maybe the officials on the field are just spotting the ball and there would be plenty of time for the booth to stop the next play. Nope, too many plays are missed. Why? because old guys suck at technology. It is a fact of life. Proof of this can be found at any airport. Put any guy over 45 at one of those computerized check-in stand at the airline's counter and watch confusion reign. They are just getting their transaction times at the ATM under 10 minutes and don't even try to get them to do anything on the computer by themselves. So why would we think that they would be able to watch a moniter and page an official on the field? There wasn't even replay when these guys were born!!!!!! Here are my suggestions for improving NCAA College Football Instant Replay:

-No more guys over 40 in the replay box.
-Have something other than a stupid pager to stop the refs on the field. I recommend somthing like this. Nobody would snap the ball if a sweet foghorn would be blowing.
-Be faster, this could be all about getting rid of the old guys, but it really only takes one or two looks to know what the call should be.
-Stop having crappy refs on the field. I've seen good reffing before and I saw a lot of bad reffing this year (I'm looking at you Steve Usechek!).

Or you could just put me in charge of the whole thing. I would take care of business.

JT For some reason I think this is really funny. Maybe it's because the kid turned some girl's occupation on MySpace from student to slut. Or maybe because he is using Dr. Phil's voice and I don't realize it until about half-way through. Whatever the case it is certainly pure gold.

Thanks to BBL for inspiration on this post.

Tiny Shrink Wrapped Euro Man Balls

2006-01-05T23:26:00.000-07:00

Yeah, I've seen enough Euro Man Balls in tiny, tiny Speedos for 2006 already. Unfortuately the gorgeous beaches of Anguilla were partly marred by too many Euros sporting their Speedos. I just don't get this. First of all why are Euros so out of shape? Granted I was Academic All-Region NAIA Tennis and still retain my chisled figure. But seriously these guys all had their pot bellies hanging over their miniscule swimsuits. So that wasn't too great, but the whole trip was outstanding. Maybe I'll get around to posting some pics of me on the trip...if you ladies out there can refrain from trying to break up my marriage. After 15 1/2 hours of air travel today I'm not much for writing a long article, but stay tuned in the next few days for many more posts which I thought up in one of the myriad of airports I was at today. So to sum up this post, wear bigger swimsuits European men; and keep up the good work European women.

JT

Thanks, Car Dealers!

2006-01-02T11:48:00.000-07:00

"The price you see is the price you pay. Not a penny more."

Wow, what a fantastic offer! I wish more places charged exactly what they say they are charging.

If there's anything that should spearhead an advertising campaign, it is that. "Yeah, we're not really giving you a sale or anything. We're just charging you what we say we're charging you and you're going to like it."

No more paying extra money for rustproofing!! Who are the ad wizards who came up with this one?

J.H. Naners

Stop sucking so much ESPN

2005-12-30T19:58:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't noticed, ESPN, or should I say E"SC"N has become completly unwatchable of late. Their obsession with all things "USC" is beyond tired. Seriously, take nothing away from the 2005 Trojans, they are a great team and Reggie Bush is a fantastic talent, but they are far from being one of the best teams of all time. As a general rule, when you give-up 42 points to anyone at home, let alone Fresno frieking State, you are not even close to being one the best teams of all times. That doesn't stop ESPN, though, with their ridiculous countdown of how the "best teams ever" would compare to this year's Trojans. Now, you may be wondering, "MP, why is "best teams ever" in quotes??? Well the reason for that is that any list of "best teams ever" which includes '94 Penn St. (who didn't even win a national championship), '97 Michigan (who only split a national title and would have been frieking killed by the Huskers), and '02 Ohio St. (who needed a miracle to beat god damn Purdue) is comical.

As a side note, Mark May is such an uninformed tool, his presence on that network is reason alone to stay far, far away. Just because he would go down on any member of the current USC squad doesn't make him a good analyst. Mix-in Lou "I put every school I ever coached at on probation" Holtz, and you have one shitty, shitty college football show.

More ESPN "gems":

-Cold Pizza: Someone actually had to say "you know, I think it would be a great idea to have Skip Bayless AND Woody Paige on t.v. at the same time, that would be great!" That person should have been shot on the spot. The only redeeming value to that horrific piece of crap show is that it's 1/2 over by the time I wake-up.

-30 in 30 updates: For Christ's sake, people with fucking amnesia think this thing gets old.

-Stuart Scott (by the way, it was a good thing Zachary BROWN made that gave-saving tackle for the Huskers last night. Otherwise, that would surely have been tough on MIKE Callahan).

-Making you pay for an "Insider" subscription to read any goddamn thing on their godforsaken "website."

MP's Rose Bowl prediction:

USC-27

Non-USC-31

MP

P.S. Go here for 52 hilarious reasons why ESPN sucks: http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/

I'm Outta Here Suckers

2005-12-28T10:51:00.000-07:00

See you later cold, windy, wet Nebraska. Hello sunny, warm, beachy Anguilla. The only downside to this trip will be missing the Nextel and Bud Light commercials for seven days. But duty calls, it's about this time of year when me and all the other celebs make our trip to the island. Hopefully I can lay around in the sun and not be bothered by all the hobnobbing I usually have to engage in. When I hang out in Anguilla my phone just rings off the hook, "Hey Jamie, Robert DeNiro here, wanted have a 'little bit' of dinner?" or "Yo, it's hot out herr, let's go snorkling," from Nelly. I just want some privacy all right celebrities? Maybe we can watch the USC/Texas National Title Game (USC in a rout by the way)over at my place, but that's it. I know I am part of the best blog on the internet, but that doesn't mean I'm available for your every beck and call. And paparazzi? You'd better not try to take topless pictures of me or I'll have your ass, and I might just do something terrible to myself.

Oh well, I guess it will be better than trying to avoid the media hordes that invade my privacy here in Nebraska.

JT (Nebraska 36 Michigan 16: I saw it in a dream two nights ago)

Christmas Time Is Here

2005-12-24T08:30:00.000-07:00

Yep, it's the Christmas season and you know what that means, time to go to the bars and see all the kids that were too cool to stay in Lincoln for school. Yeah they got to go to nice schools, and yeah now they have sweet jobs in some big city. When you are between jobs like me this can get a little annoying, but then I console myself with that $8.57 we've earned with advertising for this blog so far. What's that? You want to know what I got the ol' lady for Christmas? Well here it is, I figure she will look pretty sexy. And if I wear my tuxedo shirt it will be doubly awesome.

Time to do some cooking and watch some football, hopefully they play the Nextel "Push It" commercial about 5,000 times so I can laugh 5,000 times.

JT (Please Baby Jesus, help the Vikings beat the Ravens, and make world peace too.)

Xmas Eve Free Money

2005-12-24T08:18:00.000-07:00

Just in case you don't have the cash to buy all your Christmas presents here are some picks so you can remedy that situation quickly:

Green Bay +6.5 Chicago: Mike Tice sent Brett Favre a fruitcake, stop sucking for one game Packers and help out the beloved Vikings.

Houston +6 JVille: The Jags can't beat anyone big, including the Texans who Dan Reeves is going to turn into a juggernaut, costing them Reggie Bush.

And as always, pick the Vikings no matter what the points say. They are a team of destiny.

If these picks don't all win, then you can get some free Christmas joy by clicking here and watching "Lazy Sunday," with Parnell and Samberg.

Mr. Pibb and Red Vines = Crazy Delicious

Red Sox Newspapers are Dumb

2005-12-21T06:54:00.000-07:00

I'm usually a fan of the Boston Globe, but today I think they are crazy. If you haven't heard Johnny Damon signed with the hated Yankees for four years and $52 Million bucks. If my math is correct that is $13 Mill/year. That is just too much money for Johnny Damon.

Now don't get me wrong, Damon is a solid .360 OBP guy who will get you some bags and score a lot of runs, especially with the Yankees and Red Sox, but he is 32 years old. I know this isn't the NFL where signing anyone over 30 not named Pat Williams is a bad move, but $12 Mill a year for a no armed centerfielder? Bernie Williams has a canon compared to "Johnny Angel." Would it be so bad if the Yanks gave Bubba Crosby a chance? He wasn't great in 76 games last year (.276, .304. .327) but that's usually what happens when you only let a younger guy play 76 games. Crosby is 29 so he's going to be too old too pretty soon.

I suppose if you are the Yankees, and spending crazy amounts of money on players never comes back to bite you in the ass then there's no problem. But by signing free agents you do another thing, you forfeit 1st round picks, and eventually that will catch up with them. Their farm system is already depleted (24th in Baseball America Rankings) and without prospects it's tough to make big trades in the stretch run. So, I hope this works out for you Yankees, goodness knows I wouldn't have make the move. And Sox fans, relax, I know you have a lot of holes to fill (CF, SS, 1B), but there is time before the season starts and you will come up with something. While you guys lost a pretty good player, by far the most crushing blow to Boston is the loss of this.

JT (Stay tuned for our salute to Christmas!!!!)

By the way, how the hell do the Royals have the third worst farm system in baseball? What the hell have you been doing with this string of top five picks Allaird Baird? Time to start drafting more guys like the Hammer!!!

Running Backs are Overrated

2005-12-20T17:29:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about this for awhile and have decided that running backs are overrated as individuals. Now, I'm not saying that running backs are overrated as a position, b/c obviously a team has to be successful on the ground to be successul in the win column.

However, with the exception of players like LT and Barry Sanders who are so athletic that they didn't need a good offensive line, it really is mostly about the offensive line and blocking schemes, including a good fullback.

Of course some running backs are better and will be more productive than others b/c of their quickness, power, etc, but I don't think Denver has just had a lucky string of good running backs for a long time.

Look at Ahman Green. Coming into this year he was supposedly an elite running back, but the Packers lost two of their best offensive lineman to free agency and one to injury. All of a sudden, he can't do anything. But, since so many people can play running back well, Najeh Davenport and Samkon Gado pretty much come in and cause nothing to be lost in the running game.

Here's some more guys this year that have come in from nowhere and been pretty much as effective as the "good" starters: Chester Taylor, Jonathan Wells, Ryan Moats, Willie Parker, Cedric Houston, Greg Jones, Artrose Pinner, Marion Barber.

Even LT's replacement broke the biggest play of the game in Chargers win and was averaging over 4 yards per carry in the game before that run.

Just an observation.

J.H. Naners

The NEW Heavyweight Champion of the WORLD!!!!!!!

2005-12-19T13:33:00.000-07:00

A FUCKING BEAR. Yep Nicolay Valuev defeated John Ruiz (the most boring fighter ever)last night to become the tallest (7') and heaviest (325 lbs) champion ever. Now I don't follow the heavyweight division, I'm more about the sweet Jermaine Taylor/ Bernard Hopkins rematch, but now I'm going to have to start watching the heavyweights because a damn grizzly bear is the new champ. Nobobdy knows who Valuev will fight next, perhaps the remaining Klitcko, or maybe Iron Mike. How funny would it be for Iron Mike to fight a 7' giant? He would get frustrated and bite the guy in the stomach.

So all hail the new champ, and here's to a better future for the heavyweight division. "I must break you."

JT (I tried to talk BBL out of getting a Bob Sagat tattoo, but he just loves the guy.)

Mike Dunleavy's Double Life

2005-12-17T15:17:00.000-07:00

I don't know how this guy does it, he must just be the man. Mike Dunleavy has managed to lead the Clippers, yep those Clippers, to a surprising start AND star in some classic films. Seabiscuit, Muholland Falls, Leaving Las Vegas, The Rocketeer, Revenge of the Nerds II: Nerds in Paradise, Youngblood, in fact he's been dominating the silver screen since 1972. Needless to say his appearence in the original The Longest Yard is legendary. I always thought he was going to pull a rifle out from under the bench and blast Marco Jaric like he almost did to Burt Reynolds. Keep up the good work Mike.

JT (My Wedding was totally fucking rad)

SCHOOL'S OUT FOR......three weeks

2005-12-16T18:22:00.000-07:00

Yeah I know I'm still in college, and yeah I know I'm twenty-five, but you know what? Fuck you. At least I'm in grad school making a real difference in the world; you see I preserve this nation's history, specifically late 19th Century Nebraska history, and what is more important than that?

But I just finished a 27-page paper and now it's time for things to get crazy. Who knows what is going to happen

The Ol' Lady Works the Third Shift at an Armor Factory

tonight? All I know is that the old lady works till 7AM and I am free. Hell I could do anything!!!! All I'm saying is that if you don't see any posts from JT over the next couple days you will know one of two things happened. A) I went to the boats and won so much money that I am moving to South America or B)I stayed home, watched the Celtics game and then went to bed early.

Either way it's sure to kick ass.

JT (I always got uncomfortable when Naners, my old roommate, would wear this around the house.)

I've Had Enough Creighton

2005-12-14T15:36:00.000-07:00

Let me start off by saying Nebraska is not a good basketball team, I know that, and all the Nebraska fans know that. I am not here to brag or boast or whine about anything, but I heard a caller on the Matt Perault show on Big Sports 590 AM that demands an answer. This guy said he was a huge Jays fan, and if Creighton had a football he would definately root for them, but since there is no Creighton football team he cheers for Nebraska. He claimed that if Creighton would have kept their football team they would be like Boston College. This is simply not acceptable. He is stupid on some many levels the only way I can counter it is with a list.

-There is a big difference between Creighton and Boston College. For one, BC had good football teams pre-WWII, including a 1940 Sugar Bowl berth. Creighton's biggest rival was Tulsa. This was before CU decided to go generic with their nickname, back then they were the Hilltoppers. Just like the Yankees, except easier to hate.

-CU's team folded in 1942 and even though the players who returned from the war were willing to play without scholarships, the school still declined to field a team. Nice college guys!!!

-You DO have a football team Creighton!!! You have you're homecoming at a soccer game. It's absolutely perfect for your school. Boring, dangerous (for fans) and none of the guys ever score. On a sidenote how do you have a school where every guy pops his collar? Shouldn't that be illegal?

-Most importantly, you cannot cheer for the University of Nebraska in one sport and then cheer against them in another sport. You are the type of people who, in WWI, would cheer for the US Army, but since you really like U-Boats, and the US didn't have any, would cheer for the German navy. Cheer for the Huskers and be loyal to the State school or don't cheer for them at all. We are not intersted in having someone who hates Nebraska basketball be a fan of our football team.

-I would really like to see if you Creighton fans were going to Aksarban or the Civic or whatever crappy barn you used to play in when NU was going to dance every year? Where you really that big of a Creighton fan when Tony Baroni was running the show?

-How does that 1905 Asskicking taste Creighton? NU 128 CU 0!!!!! (In real football)

Recently Creighton offered a tour of downtown Omaha in it's new science wing.

JT (I just can't understand why Naners used this as his senior picture)

Will Christmas survive?

2005-12-13T16:48:00.000-07:00

Why are people getting so pissed off that the word "holiday" is being used instead of "christmas"? Do Jerry Falwell and the American Family Association have nothing better to do than start a petition that over 300,000 people have signed saying they are boycotting Target (Who also happens to sell Red Devil vacuums. That doesn't seem very Christian) b/c they don't use the word Christmas in their stores? I guess that is a lot more dangerous than all the irresponsible parenting, physical and emotional abuse, and the slew of other problems that families experience.

Yep, gays and the continued horrid oppression that Christians face every day in our society really are our biggest problems. It's about time Christians fought back.

Is it kind of dumb that people are calling Christmas trees holiday trees? Yeah, probably. But this country is obsessed with trying to mask its deep seeded divisions by being overly politically correct (or occasionally not) as a denial tool.

So if Christmas is so sacred and special to Christians than why doesn't the commercialization of the holiday have people up in arms? I don't see God fearing people complaining that Christmas day is one of the biggest days of the year at the movie box office. I don't think people seeing King Kong on December 25th this year are contributing to celebrating the birth of Jesus.

I'm sure there are some people that actually do observe the holiday for its significance to their religious belief, but I guarantee that a load of people and probably the majority of those who signed that petition care more about getting the day off from work and spend more time shopping for gifts than observing its meaning.

Bottom line, this is just something else that hypocrits can moan about and blame on liberals for ruining the fabric of our society. Seriously, find another cause more important to rally around. Lord knows there are millions of them.

J.H. Naners

Finally Something for the Guys

2005-12-12T20:29:00.000-07:00

Nearly every post on Awesome Inc. has been written primarily for the ladies in the house. Well, I decided that it might be time to do something for the gentlemen, and that is to discuss girls making out. There is really no way to explain how awesome girls making out is, it just is. Now maybe I was just too young, but I don't seem to remember girls making out as much in the eighties. Supposedly the first girl on girl kiss appeared on a 1991 episode of LA Law, and girls making out has been going strong ever since. Nowadays girls are making out everywhere, from sitcoms to movies to many of our finer college parties. I just want to thank goodness that I live in a time where girls making out is so prevalent in our culture. And as much as I hate the Braves, you've gotta admire Andruw Jones and his love of "good lesbian action."

JT Goat = Me, Pig = Anyone who doesn't like girls making out. Ducks = World Peace (it's symbolism)

Oh what the hell one more!!!!!!!!!!

Great and Terrible ad campaigns

2005-12-11T20:55:00.000-07:00

Like it or not, we all see about a trillion ads a day in these times. From Sportscenter segments having a sponsor to the sides of buses we are engulfed in advertising. Now I think it is out of hand, but at least some advertisers go to lengths to be funny or clever. Now I'm sure I'll be leaving out many, but here are some of the current advertising campaigns that are good and bad.

The Good

Miller Lite- Miller has been doling out the good stuff for at least a couple of years now. It started with the refs throwing penalties at beers with less taste and has evolved into the current court room ads. Oh, no they didn't! I still hate the taste of beer, but will condone the hilarity. Props to the new Bud Light commercial with the guy staying two minutes late on a Friday, too.

Sonic- The two guys bantering about trash talk and flaming mushrooms are funny. Mostly b/c I could see myself talking about stupid stuff like this. The Seinfeld of commercials perhaps.

Sportscenter ads- They aren't coming as frequently as they used to but when they do, they are still really funny. From Evander Holyfield tossing the Georgia Tech Yellow Jacket to give Steiner his whoopin' to Scott Van Pelt using a performance enhancing thesaurus (unhand me, rapscallion!) these ads rarely disappoint.

The brand new Nike Lebron campaign- I just started seeing these tonight, but these look mighty promising. When Lebron is dressed up as a senior citizen and recalling his high school championship game, you can't go wrong.

The new Snickers ads- Particularly the one where the guy is bald and uses a bunch of snickers to hide it. Doesn't make much sense, but it's funny.

Of course I'll throw in BBL's favorite commercial of all time- the Nextel "push it" commercial. Also, I think it's Nextel or Sprint with the two guys arguing about a BLT and whether bread is implied in the initials.

Here is that awesome commercial for those who haven't seen it:

(Just click stop after the commercial's done. I haven't figured out how to stop it from continuing on with the playlist.)
BBL

The bad

Anything by McDonalds- They try to be hip and cool and fail miserably. You're not fooling anyone, McDonalds. Everyone knows that you are cheap, relatively bad food that a trillion people are going to eat everyday. Worst of the worst- the McGriddles rap. Sweet Griddlecakes!

Any and all SUV commercials. Okay, we get it. You'r big and tough shit b/c you drive around in the middle of nowhere and get 12 mpg while doing it. First of all, 98% of people who buy SUVs don't do that stuff and yet 98% of the ads feature that lifestyle.

The Coors light campaign- The Coldest tasting beer? Cold isn't a taste. Probably created by a CU alum.

I'm sure there are a ton more, but I just thought of these off the top of my head, so feel free to contribute your likes and dislikes in the advertising world.

J.H. Naners

Egg Nog: Greatest Mystery in the World

2005-12-09T16:06:00.000-07:00

I despise eggnog. It tastes absolutely terrible. I can't even describe that nasty aftertaste that makes me want to gag. There are raw eggs in it for Christsakes. That being said, I love those eggnog shakes at McDonalds, and I love eggnog ice cream. So what gives? Can anyone explain this? I like the flavor of eggnog, but not eggnog itself.

Evidently this girl likes eggnog (This came up when I searched for an image of "egg nog") It's hard to argue with her reasoning. All the Trekkies out there like it because of this. But I just can't bring myself to like it. Alright eggnog, here's the deal. If you are served to me like this, and Gene from The Match Game was making funny jokes like this (Go down to highlights) and perhaps if I dropped about a pound of acid and started seeing things like this I would consider liking egg nog. Until then, no dice.

JT

Hall of Fame....Hall of F'ing Terrible

2005-12-07T17:27:00.000-07:00

Today on Hall of Fame...Hall of F'ing Terrible we celebrate/denigrate two of America's greatest/worst natural resources: Vegas Porn Card Guys and Sean Hannity. Now some might ask, well JT, who is going in which Hall? My friend, if you have to ask that question you might be on more crack than that Boulder journalist chronicled in an earlier post.

Hall of Fame: What sound do you think of when you think of Las Vegas? The sonorous, computerized beeping of a slot machine that beckons eagar players to feed it dollars, quarters, nickels and yes, even pennies? How about the roar of the craps table? The cheer at the sports book after a walkon at Western Illinois decides to make a meaninless half-court shot at the buzzer to get within 28 of Duke, and cover the spread? The first thing that should come to your mind is clicking. If you close your eyes while you walk down Las Vegas Boulevard you are transported to a rustic farmhouse, you hear crickets chirping their melodious refrains. In Vegas, however, the crickets hand out baseball cards with hookers on them. Our Mexican friends line the streets clicking their cards in their hands (they are not allowed to talk) trying to get your attention so they can provide with the phone numbers and prices of girls waiting to pleasure you. (3 for $99?!!? That's a steal!!!) In a way the card-clickers are like the blue angels, you have to walk through a gauntlet of them, and you would swear that you are going to run into one of them, but they manage to get out of the way just in time to avoid contact. Next time you go to Vegas try collecting the cards, it's really fun to have the whole set in your bag, ask your wife clean out said bag and let hilarity ensue. I salute you porn card guys, you stand out in 120 degree heat handing out porn cards to anyone and everyone, including grandmas and married Asian tourists. You are now forever immortalized in the Hall of Fame.

Hall of F'ing Terrible: Now on to a far less happy topic. Sean Hannity is not a journalist, not a writer, not an expert on anything. He's a Prep School Boy who also happens to be a college dropout. When he worked at a radio station in Santa Barbara he said, "Anyone listening to this show that believes homosexuality is a normal lifestyle has been brainwashed. It's very dangerous (as opposed to a war) if we start accepting lower and lower forms of behavior as the normal." The station let him go, but he regained his job with the help of those leftist commie bastards at the ACLU. I myself am against all myopics who think their side is right on every issue, and Hannity certainly fits the bill. Perhaps the most disturbing thing about this man, besides the fact that he is kind of creepy looking, is that he was inspired to become a talk radio douche because of the Iran/Contra Affair and the media's unfair treatment of that statue of morality, Ollie North. Just a weird weird dude.

Come to think of it, I've only listened to Hannity a couple of mind-numbing times. I just can't take his drivel for extended periods, but he has provided me much joy via other people mocking him. The Colbert Report would not exist if not for people like Hannity. You know what Sean, you are lucky, for the first time in the long and storied tradition of the Hall of F'ing Terrible I am going to remove you from enshrinement. As long as people keep cracking on you and as long as that makes me laugh, and as long as you stay off the channels I watch, you can just chill outside the Hall, perhaps in our spacious botanical garden. Keep saying stupid stuff Sean, laughter makes the world go round.

This sucks, sucks, sucks

2005-12-06T21:44:00.000-07:00

As everyone in Lincoln is surely aware, it's cold outside. I mean really frieking cold. Given that I'm 24 years old, and have lived here my entire life, you would think that I'd get used to this type of weather. However, that is simply not the case. The fact of the matter is, this sucks total ass.

Also, would it kill you to clear off the streets, Grandma?!?!? The fact that I am still not able to drive in a discernable lane on Hwy 2 two days after it has snowed less than an inch simply blows my mind. You would think that clearing streets would be one of the top priorities of any mayor. I mean, do people have any idea what the hell a mayor does other than tell the city workers to break-out the shovels and clear the roads?

You're on notice, Seng!!!!!!!!!!

MP

Shuffleboard, the Sport of Lunchladies and Drunks

2005-12-05T13:29:00.000-07:00

Shuffleboard has been around since 1532, and it's been played at Bob's Tavern in Havelock, Nebraska for almost that long. This game has it all: skill, power, luck and beautiful people. There are over 1 millions shuffleboarders in the US and if you need more proof of the game's popularity look no further than HDNET, they broadcast the 4th Annual Shuffleboard Championships in Hi-Def. The real attraction of that show, and all shuffleboard is the man, nay, demi-God of Shuffleboard, Billy Mays. No, not this tool, this giant. It's been said, "Billy Mays is to shuffleboard what Michael Jordan was to basketball, what Ali was to the fight game, what Tiger is to golf. " He is a 27-time world champion! This guy is THE MAN. Joined the army at fifteen, was married and divorced four times before he was 21. To date he's been married 10 times because, "I just enjoyed married life." He's won 800 tournaments and sometimes cleared $500 K a year betting with people on shuffleboard. Anyway, if you haven't seen his trickshot act, you haven't really lived.

In summation, get in on the ground floor of shuffleboard, it's going to be the next darts.

Shuffleboard: The Classy Sport full of Nonstop Action

JT

Darts...The sport of kings!

2005-12-05T03:08:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting here at work, flipping through the channels (yes I can watch tv at work, so advantage me) , and I came across some of the best television programming known to man: Darts. Now most people know darts as a game pubgoers partake in between beers, drunken insults of your friends, and/or failed pickup attempts, but it is much more than that when you see it on tv. Firstly, the production value for the big events is like that of a WWE Wrestlemania with smoke, strobe lights, intro music, and a packed house full of crazy dart fans. That alone is enough to get me pumped up about watching some darts! But the excitement doesn't end there, oh no, because now here come some of the greatest athletes in the world to perform their craft!
Guys like Wayne "Hawaii 501" Mardle, Peter "One Dart" Manley, Canadian John "Darth Maple" Part, Colin "Jaws" Lloyd, Kevin "The Artist" Painter, and John "Flash" Dudbridge are just some of the crazy characters that make up the Proffessional Darts Corportion LTD, or just the PDC for those of us in the know. Their victory celebrations after big throws aren't creative like a T.O. or Chad Johnson end zone dances, but they are certainly humerous. Whether it be a fancy little jig or a primal scream combined with a double underhanded fist pump, these guys know how to show excitement. On a whole other level though is Phil "The Power*" Taylor. (*Yes that is "Power" tattooed on his arm) Far and away the best thower of the dart in history, "The Power" is not only a great dartsman, but a great showman as well. He gets the crowds on their feet with his entrance to Snap's "The Power" and a lovely lady on each arm.
Another reason that makes televised darts so great are the announcers, both on the stage and on the tube. The on-stage announcer is usually the incomparable Russ Bray, who informs the crowd of the scores after each round of throws and yells out the big scores. Three triple-20s gets a huge "180!!!!" and sends the crowd into oblivion. He's dart's version of Michael Buffer. The TV announcers are just as entertaining as they get as amped up as anybody over big throws. You'll hear at least a few "Brilliant!!"s and a "Miraculous!!" here and there in their heavy British accents. Just imagine the guys from the Guinness commercials doing dart play-by-play and you've got the official PDC announcers.
So there you have it America! Darts on television is awesome! If you've seen the spectacle already, then kudos to you. If you haven't, then get your ass in gear! It's on Fox Sports fairly regularly, but check your local listings for airtimes in your area. When you've seen what I'm talking about, come back and let us know what you thought of it. My prediction is that you'll go out and buy a dartboard just like we here at Awesome Inc. did.
Enjoy!
BBL

Rebuttal to that blasphemy

2005-12-02T18:53:00.000-07:00

Ok , JT, we can all agree that morning DJ's are annoying and worthless. It's like MTV not showing videos. I want to listen to music, not giddy idiots. But I will not let you sing the praises of black licorice without calling you out.

Let's face it. If there's a tentacle of Awesome, Inc. that likes his candy, it's J.H. Naners. I mean, I really like candy. Among the best are Sour Patch Kids, Snickers, Twix, and of course, pretty much all things gummi. Black licorice is NOT good. In fact, there are only three candies I can think of that I don't like enough to eat for free if they were offered to me:

1. Circus Peanuts- Wow. No wonder people are afraid of clowns. Probably a subconscious fear due to these pieces of marshmallowy garbage.

2. Candy Corn- Hmm, let's see, this is condensed sugar that tastes like nothing in particular but un-Godly sweetness. I think you can literally eat no more than 3 of these before going into a diabetic coma.

3. Black Licorice- The worst of the worse. I mean, seriously, is there any candy that has a more polar opinion with people? There are a few freaks like JT who actually like it, and then there is the rest of people who have taste buds who realize how vile it is. Just look at it when you bite it. Where the teeth break it off, it looks like there is moss growing in the middle.

Red licorice isn't among my favorites, but it's infinitely better than black licorice. Black licorice...you're on notice.

J.H. Naners

On a very off topic side note, Missouri has a player named Leo "the paper eating" Lyons, which is awesome. Shout out to the Lincoln Zoo!!

Hall of Fame....Hall of F'ing Terrible

2005-12-02T16:05:00.000-07:00

This is the first in a series of posts about one thing that is great and one thing that is equally f'ing terrible. First up are two things that people have fighting about for centuries. Black Licorice and Radio DJs

Black Licorice kicks ass. Many people disagree with this assessment and I call those people morons. The debate rages as to where black licorice was invented, some say the United States, some say the Netherlands, I say Heaven. Licorice has been used to treat common maladies like sore throat, arthritis and can even help your memory so you can remember how fucking awesome black licorice is. In the U.S. we have this b.s. imposter licorice, red. How they came up with this garbage I'll never know, but it can't touch old reliable black. And look at all the cool stuff black licorice has brought us!!!!! So if you don't like black licorice, stop being such a puss and try some, visit Licorice International in the licorice hub of the world, Lincoln, Nebraska and get your hands on the LIC!

Radio DJs are the most vile, despicable people on earth. Let me first preface this Hall of F'ing Terrible inductee by saying that I will primarily focus on the morning DJ. Generally these "people" fall into three catagories. The first are the caffinated twenty something kids who's job it is to read stupid ass polls, talk about how men and women are different and ask "What's your worst date ever?" They are generally on Pop stations and they say things like, "We have WAAAAAYYYYY too much fun!!!" Then a twelve year old girl will call in and give a shout out to Marie and Samantha from Sheridan School. A hell of a lot of forced laughter from this group.

Group #2 are the easy listening DJs. They have more soothing voices and don't get as "edgy" as the pop stations. Their target is 30-year old women, so all they talk about are relationships, the holidays, bad tv shows and celebrities. You can also be 90% sure that the man will have some sort of facial hair.

The final group is the most evil of the holy trinity of evil. It's the forty-five year old guys who think they are fucking hilarious. Now if you have been to a sporting event where some old guys sit by you and they just keep dropping god awful jokes and think they're goddam Dave Attell, you know what I am talking about. Seriously guys, you can't all call your show the "Morning Zoo." They love doing parodies, ripping on celebrities and farting. The problem is they are not funny. Which brings us to the real reason I despise morning DJs: Forced Laughter. I'm looking your way Bob and Tom in the Morning. "It will be overcast today, so not bright like yesterday." "Speaking of 'not bright' Paris Hilton..." HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! They used to give people hard labor for broadcasting crap like that.

The next time any of you laugh at one of those radio shows, just think of this, because he is the one informing you that women like the toilet seat down.

JT

thanks nutsonline.com and Rock1015.com for the pics

Nicaragua is "N"

2005-11-30T09:58:00.000-07:00

Nicaragua (AIP) - There are no ¨Super-Size¨ bags of chips in Nicaragua. Nowhere. Not one bag. I was thinking about this last Sunday when I was asked to help my neighbors learn about American football. A few sample questions... ¨Why are there so many players on the sidelines and why do they get to come back in? That doesn´t seem fair.¨ ¨Why do they get a second opportunity (down) if they fucked up the first?¨ and ¨They know that being fat is unhealthy for you, right?¨ I gave up on explaining Fantasy Football to them after the first hour.

But back on point. The largest bags of Doritos or any equivalent chip can only be found at the supermarkets, mainly located in just two cities in the country, Managua and Leon, and they´re eight cordobas. For reference, 17 cordobas is equal to one dollar. The bag is a little bigger than the bags I used to get at Subway. I think you can get them at gas stations in the states, and they´re called ¨Grab Bags.¨ The point here is that nobody buys a bag of chips thinking that they are either going to eat copius amounts of food in one sitting or that just maybe they will save some for tomorrow. The same goes for milk. The largest quantity of milk you can buy in Nicaragua, again excluding the two major cities, is 1 litre. Give a Nicaraguan a gallon of milk and they will start inviting the neighbors over to help them get rid of it.

Every Nicaragua neighborhood is littered with these little things called pulperias. They´re basiclly one-room Qwik-E-Marts in the front of peoples´ houses. They are usually very small and sell the smallest possible quantities of stuff people use all the time. If you´re sitting at any given house in Nicaragua, you can get up and walk one, maybe two, at the most three, doors down and buy a bag of ice for one cordoba. It´s enough to fit in one hand, so you can take it back and put some ice in everyone´s glass and then it is gone. If you want gum, again you go next door and buy one stick of gum for one cordoba. Gum isn´t sold in packs in Nicaragua. Want some toilet paper? You´re buying one roll. And again with the chips. They´re sold in single cordoba bags that amount to about five chips. In my town of about 25,000 people, I´d be willing to bet that 50% of all transactions of any kind are of the one cordoba variety. And probably 3/4 of all purchases amount to less than 5 cordobas. Imagine a 7/11 attendant having to attend to 17 customers before they had sold a dollar´s worth of product. It´s just about as inefficient as an economy gets.

So why am I going on and on about this? Nicaraguans just do not have bank accounts. It´s unheard of in most parts. What is going to make people think about next month, let alone next year, if they don´t even think about tomorrow? A little money comes in, a little money goes right back out. It´s that simple. It happens that fast. To get Nicas to think about their future, whether it be financially, or any other type of planning that would be beneficial to their lives, is to go against monumental institutional forces that are as firmly entrenched in this country as any volcano, laguna or waterfall. As I teach small business classes to the kids in high school, I´m supposed to stress two things; one, that the idea is far more important than money when starting a business, and two, that every facet of the business must be planned out to a T in order to succeed in a competitive environment. I get the feeling that these ideas rarely take hold with the students, and I´d imagine that their parents would be even less receptive, which is part and parcel of the problem.

The former country director in Uruguay told incoming volunteers that if they really, truly changed one mind then they should go home after two years satisfied with they job they had done. I don´t think he meant for them to find one person open to change and focus solely on that person, but rather, hope for the seemingly impossible, and plan for reality. Affecting the culture of a people comes about only with glacial changes in behaviour. And I don´t believe that 160 volunteers will turn a country of five million people on it´s head overnight, or even in two years. But you recognize the fight is worth fighting, and it´s not ever going to happen if not for the changes in a few people at a time. It´s the old snowball coming down the mountain that started as just a few flakes. I´m a long, long ways from certain what I´m doing here, and how it´s all going to come out in the wash. But I´ll start by making some good friends, building some confianza, and we´ll go from there. And no need for chips next Sunday, we decided to scrap the snacks in favor of some beans and rice.

NJW

Ok, there´s my first post. I´m sorry that it is completely void of funny links. It´s way different than anything posted up until now on this site, but if I want to make any sense I have to write about what I know. And right now it´s not Husker sports or arguments between cities or The Big Bopper, Mr. Belding. Enjoy.

Boulder Journalist Possibly on Crack

2005-11-27T23:38:00.000-07:00

Boulder Daily Camera columnist Tom Woelk believes that the Colorado Buffalos did NOT back into the Big XII championship game. Well Tom, if getting crushed in your last two games and relying on an ISU kicker to miss a chipshot the next day isn't backing into the game, I'm not sure what is. As for his claim that the "corn folk" (way to cite the specifics) think Nebraska should be in the title game: that is absolutely insane. CU won the North and should be in the title game. I haven't heard anyone say otherwise. What this guy doesn' t get is that winning the title and backing into it are not mutually exclusive, you can do both. Us Husker fans are glad CU is going to San Antonio, we get to go to a better bowl and CU gets to be destroyed on national tv again. It's just too bad the game isn't in Boulder so the Colorado fans could display their famous sportsmanship and integrity.

Go 'Horns and GO BIG RED

JT

Thanks Lincoln Journal Star for the pic

An Ode to Mr. T

2005-11-26T09:28:00.000-07:00

Recently a study at MIT concluded something we all have known for years, anything involving Mr. T is funny. How he went from the feared Clubber Lang in Rocky II to a comic mastermind I will never know, but he managed to pull it off. If you don't believe me then perhaps you should click on this link, and prepare to have your life changed forever.

JT

austinwvm.club.fr for the pics

You are not our rival, Colorado!

2005-11-25T17:26:00.000-07:00

Colorado, you need to learn something. As our good friend, J.T. alluded to, Bill McCartney decided to focus all your hate and rivalry towards the Huskers.

This is not a rivalry game to us in Lincoln any more than Kansas State or Texas is. Maybe the air is too thin up in the Rockies to comprehend this. Certainly not enough oxygen is getting to the brain of people like Gary Barnett and his sexism, and his players with their affinity for sexual assault.

Here are examples of real rivalries:

Alabama and Auburn- These teams absolutely hate each other as evidenced by a Bama student stabbing 5 Auburn fans after last weekend's loss. Although this isn't what I would consider the makeup up a healthy rivalry, it makes sense. They are in-state rivals who reside less than three hours away from each other.

Ohio St. and Michigan- I'm assuming Ohio St. fans and Buffaloes fans have something in common from the stories I've heard out of Columbus, but this is a true rivalry. These schools care more about this game than any other. Perennially, this is the game that matters. I think John Cooper can attest to that.

Oklahoma and Nebraska- Yes, I am sorry to tell you that this is the team that is considered our rival. It has had the Game of the Century (in both the 20th and 21st centuries, thanks Mike Stuntz!) and a rich tradition. While OU fans are certainly less than exemplary with their behavior, there is a general respect between both schools that dates back for decades. Plus Oklahoma produces things that are good for our program.

I understand the fact that you want to be considered on the same plateau as the Huskers, but you are not. Sure, Colorado has been reasonably successful for the last twenty years and you even "won" a national championship b/c of a little unknown rule that a team can get an extra down sometimes, but we all know that was a fake share of a title and that Georgia Tech would have probably smoked you that year.

Now here's the reason why Colorado and Nebraska can't really be rivals. Colorado Buffalo football attendees are not real fans. Games rarely sell out, fans don't travel well to bowl games, and worst of all, the behavior is absolutely deplorable. I have been to two games out in Boulder and have been flipped off by a ten year old passing on a bus, yelled at and taunted by multiple fans, and had the car I was riding in beat on as we passed down a campus road, among other atrocities. Today the game had to be stopped multiple times b/c of students throwing things on the field (I notice they didn't throw stuff when the clock operator totally screwed Nebraska at the end of the half and the refs let it slide).

Nebraska fans pride ourself on treating opposing teams with respect. We clap for their efforts whether we win or lose as they head to the locker room and are generally hospitable to visitors and tailgaters. We have our share of drunken idiots who hurt the reputation, but it is no secret that Nebraska fans are known for their class. Colorado football patrons can't seem to understand what college football is all about.

It takes two teams to acknowledge a true rivalry. I'm sure CU fans will continue to try to force this rivalry by instigating dislike from us through acts of hatred and incivility, but it's time to learn that we do NOT consider you our main rival. Until the program and fans take the time to reverse their conduct I don't see that happening.

J.H. Naners

Seriously, Why are you Such Jerks Colorado?

2005-11-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

I have been to Boulder, CO to watch several Colorado/Nebraska football games. I realized that Colorado fans are jerks at the tender age of 10. It was 1991 and the game ended in a 19-19 tie. It also ended with a bunch of ice snow balls being thrown at the Nebraska section, and at me. Keep in mind that Colorado football had never been good until 1990. Remember that Bill McCartney "decided" that Nebraska would be their rival in the '80s. So Colorado just decided to hate Nebraska for absolutely no reason. And this isn't just a simmering dislike. Cars have been towed and tires slashed on cars with Nebraska plates. The last time we went to Boulder people cursed us, threw things at us and shoved us after the game. This is a program that has never won a national title (see #3), had this guy as their coach, and when a female kicker accused palyers of sexual assault Gary Barnett responded like this. There are lots of reasons for Nebraska fans to dislike Colorado, but seriously guys, why do you hate us so much? According to you we are just a bunch of hicks anyway, so why are the irrational hatred? Well Colorado, you'd better beat us now, because starting next year, you guys are done. I will be just like the '70s and '80s again.

(CU fans, read through this for awhile)

JT

What happens in Vegas...goes on the blog!

2005-11-23T05:51:00.000-07:00

Well as JT already mentioned, two members of the Awesome Inc. crew hit up Vegas this weekend for some food, fun, and festivalin' as in the Comedy Festival. The basis of the trip was to see quite a few comedy acts, but when Dane Cook and Dave Chappelle sold out sooner than expected, the trip turned into another generally great trip to Vegas with a couple shows thrown in. Here's a much-to-long recap of the weekend's festivities:

Thursday, 17th - I met JT and "The Man", JT's dad, at the airport as our flights arrived at the same time and the plan was to take the free Super 8 shuttle, but that hit a snag when the lady at the Super 8 forgot to tell me the shuttle was in the shop. She must have thought that "It's on its way" meant the same as "It's in the shop and not coming to get you." After a half hour of waiting, I called back and was told the truth about the shuttle and we grabbed a cab instead. Since it's so awesome, I'll give the Super 8 a pass on this mix up. It is the World's Largest Super 8 after all. After arriving at the hotel and regrouping, we headed across the parking lot to one of the greatest casinos known to man, Ellis Island. It's small, but packs a punch. It has $5 blackjack tables all the time and usually wide open, a decent sportsbook for those bets that need to be put in right away, and one of the best restaurants anywhere in terms of value. It's definitely not a place for high rollers, but it is perfect for Awesome Inc.
We had some time to kill before the Dave Attell/Lewis Black show at 10:30, so we decided to eat, lose some money at the blackjack tables, and walk around the Strip. A trip to the Spice Market Buffet was excellent yet again and highly recommended from us here at Awesome Inc. The Barbary Coast is another fantastic smaller casino, but on this day it beat down JT quickly and efficiently before he knew what hit him. We escaped to Caesar's Palace across the street and walked the new Forum Shops. I guess they didn't have enough shops at the Palace, so it was necessary to build a three-story extension that would make the Romans proud. This is where we saw the first of many celebrity sightings. While he's not the most famous face around, he was fresh in our minds since he had just been on The Colbert Report and that face was Greg Behrendt. He was just shopping in one of the new stores, so not the biggest sighting, but started off the weekend. The second sighting was a bit bigger: David Copperfield. I really don't care about his act or anything, but he is a pretty big name and was just standing outside the new Pussycat Dolls club in Caesar's as we strolled past. The evening was uneventful, but the time passed quickly enough for the big Attell/Black show. We had great seats in the fourth row of the ballroom turned comedy club and both comedians were excellent as usual. The show combined with hitting a big 3-team parlay made for an excellent Thursday all around.

Friday, 18th - Any time you can wake up, play a few hands of blackjack with Govind at Ellis Island, and then eat buffet at the new Mirage buffet Cravings you're having a damn fine start to the day! Little did we know that the finish to the day would be even better. After the delicious buffet, we headed over to the brand new Wynn hotel. It's a pretty impressive sight with crazy waterfalls outside and fancy decor inside, but does look very similar to the Bellagio in many respects. It's very nice, but I kind of expected more from a $2.7 billion hotel. Maybe the rooms are made out of gold and we didn't get to see that during the walkthrough. On the way back to the Super 8 we passed George Wallace doing a tv spot outside the Flamingo. Now this is a questionable celeb sighting since he has a show at the Flamingo year-round, but we're still counting it! After a quick nap to recharge the batteries, we headed to the Barbary Coast again to see what this whole "Big Elvis" phenomenon. Well it's a pretty simple concept: take a 600-pound man, dress him up like Elvis, plop him down on the stage, and have him sign Elvis' and other songs like Elvis. It's quite the show and you should check it out next time you're in Vegas! After witnessing some of the greatest singing done by a 600-pound man west of the Mississippi, we decided to head over to Caesar's and just hang out in one of their swanky bars for a drink or two. We decided on the Seahorse Bar which is pretty new and almost right across from the Pussycat Dolls club. That was the club used for VIP with the Comedy Festival, so it was in high demand this weekend with lines that snaked in and out of slot machines and barely moved the entire time we were there. It was a ridiculous site for sure. After drinking the first round of beverages we were thinking of other places to go, but I thought I spotted somebody familiar. It certainly looked like Thomas Lennon, yes THE Thomas Lennon, aka Lieutenant Dangle from Reno 911. I couldn't be sure since he wasn't wearing the short shorts, but after a couple walk-bys by JT and me we confirmed it was indeed the great man himself. He was just there with some friends that we slowly began to recognize as well. First it was "The Wiz" from Seinfeld, Toby Huss. (Only now did I learn his name after some research. We only knew him as The Wiz and the crazy guy on Reno 911 at the time) Then we realized the short guy with the pink jean coat was Bobcat Goldthwait. There were probably others there that are famous, but we couldn't recognize them. After an attempt at a picture with Dangle failed and he left, another celeb was spotted: Stephen Root. He is more commonly known as Milton from Office Space or the boss from NewsRadio and that was really fun to see him too. As all this was going on, JT, "The Man", and I kept celebrating with more drinks and it had been some time since we'd eaten, so I can safely say this was the closest I've ever been to being drunk and I can't think of a better reason than b/c I saw Dangle. After the excitement died down, we made our way back to Ellis for a late night $2.95 pancake breakfast (the first of three for myself over the weekend) and then headed to bed. The night wasn't completely over though because a certain infomercial was on tv that kept our attention. "The Chopper Show" is quite possibly the craziest 30 minutes on tv. Just watch the video and sit in awe. "What do you think about a nice and clean 13 G's?" "CHOP IT!!"

Saturday, 19th - Early to rise and early to lose money on college football. A rather uneventful day unless you consider losing money eventful. Lots of video blackjack and comped drinks at the Barbary Coast while watching football before the 8 pm show with Jon Stewart. The brand new arena at Caesar's hosted his show and he was hilarious. We weren't sure what kind of show he would do after hosting "The Daily Show" for so long, but he was excellent. After grabbing some post-show grub at Spago while watching the Reggie Bush show against Fresno State, we worked our way back through Caesar's and once again found some celebs. As mentioned already, Chris Rock blew right past us on the way to the Dave Chappelle show and then we saw Darin Erstad right after that. The odd part is we saw Erstad almost exactly one week earlier in Lincoln, NE after a Husker game at a bar. Going home we saw Jeffrey Ross doing a tv spot, so chalk up one more celeb spotting. Another eventful night without a doubt.

Sunday, 20th - Another day, another rough ride on the sports betting. As usual, the NFL dominated me, but still fun to be in Vegas betting on it. A couple more celeb spottings occurred with Christian Finnegan roaming the Barbary coast and Chris Cornell pushing a stroller at the Bellagio. JT and "The Man" headed back to the Good Life that afternoon, while I stayed behind for another day. After a much needed nap, I ventured out on the Strip to check things out. Didn't find anything other than a totally redone MGM Grand, but did return to another delicious pancake breakfast at Ellis and some more losses at the blackjack table.

So there you have it America, the Awesome Inc. trip to Vegas in a not-so-condensed recap. It was a ton of fun even with the gambling losses and may rank as the best of the seven trips so far. Will #8 top it? We'll find out in March as a huge contingent of Awesome Inc. and friends is making the trip for the first weekend of the Big Dance. If you're in Vegas during that weekend, stop by Ellis Island or the Barbary Coast, we'll probably be there.

BBL

Best Thanksgiving Line in Movie History

2005-11-22T23:13:00.000-07:00

Anyone who knows me knows one thing. I LOVE SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT. It is one of the greatest films of all time and it features one of the greatest Thanksgiving lines of all times. When Bandit (Bo Darville) tries to convince Cletus "Snowman" that they should bring 400 cases of Coors from Texas to Big and Little Enos Burdette. I believe that the exact line goes like this,

CLETUS: Dontcha know that bootleggin' is illegal in Texas?
BANDIT: Well, who gives a turkey?

Yes, Bandit actually says, "Who gives a turkey?" People actually seriously said that in the seventies.

This only makes a lot of sense because I love turkey, ThanksGiving is probably my favorite holiday, I love to eat, which is weird since I keep a boyish figure. I think if I lived in the seventies I would just drive around in a truck all day, doing crystal meth and then stop at home for Thanksgiving. Anyway, thank you Smokey and the Bandit, for brightening up my life.

JT (RIP Sam, perhaps the handsomest naked dog in the world)

Awesome Inc's Brushes with Greatness

2005-11-21T19:55:00.000-07:00

There are a lot of people who see celebrities and stand there in awe, not knowing what to say. Well, BBL and I just got back from Vegas and The Comedy Festival, and believe me, we migled with our share of stars. This list includes: Stephen Root (Milton from Office Space), The Wiz from Seinfeld, Bobcat Goldthwait, Jeffrey Ross, (I love you Jeffrey Ross) Chris Cornell, Christian Finnigan (of Best Week Ever) Darin Erstad, Casey Kotchman, and four others that I will let BBL describe. Although these celebs did not recognize us for our work on the Awsome Inc. website, they immediately were attracted to our magnetic personalities. At least I think that is why Chirs Rock brushed up against my shirtsleeve as he moved past me. The club where all the stars hung out at was too full for us, we just were too cool to go in. Anyway guys, next time we run into you, don't be shy, come up and say hi to us, we'll hang out.

JT

Husker/Longwood review

2005-11-18T21:04:00.000-07:00

Well, the first half was a little nerve racking. Longwood was ahead by 3 with about four minutes left thanks to us being pretty bad on offense and this little guy draining two or three 28 footers to guide the Lancers to eight first half three pointers. However, the Huskers opened up a nine point half time lead and went on to push the ball much more in the second and open up a lead of over twenty points at one time and ending with an 80-65 win.

A couple observations:

-Longwood's coach was one of those coaches I hate b/c he whines after every call and is really vocal and seems to think that he's coaching Duke b/c he wanted most every call. This is somewhat ironic being as I guarantee I would be the exact same way if I was a coach. So I guess that means I'm annoying, too.

-This Husker team has a lot of young talent, but a long way to go as well. I didn't get the impression that this team is good enough to play with the big dogs in conference, but hopefully they have enought time to polish up a lot of shortcomings.

-Charles Richardson is working hard to pick up where Marcus Walker left off last year with attire on the bench. He went from wearing red pants and shoes in the exhibition game to a checkered type vest tonight.

Here's a little breakdown of every player that got some minutes for us tonight and my impression to what they will contribute this year:

Aleks Maric- Easily our most important player. He won't necessarily be our leading scorer but he is essential as our only legit inside presence. Since rebounding is supposed to be a strength this season, it is imperative that Maric stays out of foul trouble that he was prone to last year. If Soda is as good as advertised, this will be a top notch post duo.

Jason Dourisseau- One of the most dangerous players on the court....for both teams. JD would appear to be our best "playmaker" in terms of being able to drive the ball to the hoop, and I certainly don't doubt his effort. However, he's the kind of guy that scares you when he has the ball b/c he's just as likely to be out of control and commit mind-numbingly dumb turnovers.

Joe McCray- He's cocky, he appears to be lazy, and he's a little out of shape. Having said that, he's a necessity b/c of his ability to score points quickly.

Marcus Walker- Already taken over as my favorite Husker on the team, mostly b/c he looks like Eddie Griffin with a receding hairline. Besides that, he looks like a steady point guard that does what a point guard should do: bring the ball up the court and push the ball to distribute to others. He also has some shooting ability which is a plus.

Jamel White- He had flashes of brilliance and ineptitude tonight. Fortunately, the brilliance came in the second half. He made a lot of poor passing decisions and doesn't look to be as smooth of a ball handler as Walker, but he can shoot and made a sweet reverse layup in the second half. Very athletic.

B.J. Walker- This guy appears to be the definition of raw. He's stout and hustles, which are good attributes for a post player. He has some decent offensive moves, but I'm betting he gets most of his points from the free throw line or second chance putbacks. A rich man's Andy Markowski.

Bronsen Schliep- Schliep Diesel (TM) had our first dunk of the year and I think he's a very capable player. He's not going to blow anyone away, but he can jump and doesn't seem like the kind of guy that will hurt us. He can only help as a decent role player.

Marcus Perry- Only played ten minutes and did nothing to impress or agitate. Who knows. Haven't seen enough of him.

Wes Wilkinson- Got a few early fouls (shocking isn't it), but he is certainly more muscular than last year and was 5th in the Big 12 in blocks last year. Wes will do some things to piss you off, but as long as he's not counted on to be the mvp of the team, he should continue his improvement to be a very solid contributor.

Jim Ledsome- Didn't get a ton of action and I certainly don't think he'll be scoring many points, but appears to be valuable as a guy who can get some boards and provide a body down low if Maric gets into foul trouble.

Tony Wilbrand- Animal was brilliant as usual. If we see him play more than at the end of a big blowout win or loss, this team will not be going to the dance.

Kyle Marks- Didn't play a lot and barely noticed he was out on the floo.....holy shit, did you see that alley-oop dunk?!? I can see that the jump out of the gym rep he has is true. He hung in the air and threw it down with authority. Other than that, nothing, but it was the most explosive play of the night near the end of the game and was pretty awesome.

So there you have it. If I had to predict, I think we're still a year away from the dance. Hopefully it takes less than a year for this group to gel as a team and we can transition from a deplorable non-conference (for the most part) schedule into the Big 12. Although, it looks like several team in the league have a ways to go.

Lookout you Yale eggheads, we're coming for you tomorrow!

J.H. Naners

Picks O' the Week

2005-11-16T16:41:00.000-07:00

The almighty pics have to come out early this week because a few of Awesome Inc.'s main cogs are going to be in a little place called Las Vegas. The picture above is from Rain at the Palms, to you and me it looks like five young ladies. To BBL, it's a typical Friday night.

If you were with us last week, you know how the Picks went. (We're the one on the bottom.)

Well it's time to rebound and dominate Week 11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tampa @ -6 ATLANTA: Chris Simms had one good week, ATL got embarrassed, roll reversal.

Oakland @ -6 WASHINTON: I just don't like
the Raider's D, especially against a team that
just put up 35 against the Bucs.

Carolina @ +3 BEARS: Could be some sloppy
field conditions in CHI town, take the Bears and
the field goal.

Thanks to palms.com for the pic

Why Nebraska is #1!

2005-11-16T04:20:00.000-07:00

If you didn't know already, Awesome Inc. is headquartered in Nebraska and for good reason: It's the Good Life! While we have branches outside of Chicago and in Nicaragua now, and future branches are always possible, the home base will always be Nebraska. For this reason, I felt it was necessary to explain why Nebraska's awesome despite many claims to the contrary. (Hell, some people in this country don't even know it exists!) So here we go:
1. Husker football - This is usually the first thing people think of if they even know what Nebraska is and it's understandable why they would. One of the most dominant programs in college football, the Huskers have garnered respect across the country and around the world.
2. Kool-Aid - Yeah that's right Kool-Aid! Invented in the Cornhusker State and it is good stuff. A great product with one the greatest mascots of all-time.
"Oh Yeah!" indeed.
3. Where's the Beef? - In Nebraska that's where! Definitely a state that is known for it's excellent meat with most people recognizing Omaha Steaks as probably the best steaks in the world. Take a trip to Misty's in Lincoln and get the prime rib. Thank me later.
4. College World Series - A 10-day event in June that takes over Omaha, especially if the home state Huskers make it there. RVs come from all over the country to stake out a spot around the stadium to tailgate for a whole week. Zesto's is a staple restaurant near Rosenblatt. It's grown so much that EA Sports is now making the first college baseball video game.
5. Henry Doorly Zoo - Right next to Rosenblatt is one of the greatest zoos in the world. The Henry Doorly Zoo is huge! They keep adding to it as well, so it's getting even better. And zoo's in general kick ass because you might see something like this:

6. Famous People - Yeah it's a small state population-wise, but a number of famous faces call Nebraska their birthplace. (Yeah most usually leave and live elsewhere, but that's there loss!) The likes of Johnny Carson, Warren Buffet, Fred Astair, Marlon Brando, Henry Fonda, Bob Gibson, and Malcolm X to name about half all were born in Nebraska. Gerald Ford was born in Omaha and he was such a great president he didn't even need to be elected!
7. Ogallala Aquifer - Water water everywhere! The world's largest underground aquifer is primarily under Nebraska, so take that everyone else! Nebraskans won't ever be thirsty.
8. 911 - Although rarely used in the idyllic, nearly crime-free paradise that is Nebraska, the 911 emergency system was invented in the state and first used in Lincoln. I believe the first call was either a cat stuck in a tree or trouble down at the old mill.
9. SAC - Without the Strategic Air Command, we'd all probably be speaking Russian right now. How can you read this when you're drinking this? But at least we could have looked awesome! SAC #1!
10. Unicameral baby! - The only state in the country to have just one house in the government and that's something special.
11. Arbor Day - We here at Awesome Inc. (except MP) love trees and we've got the designated day and city for trees on lockdown. Nebraska City is the home to everything Arbor Day-related, not to mention home to some of the best apple donuts around!
12. Haymarket Park - Back to sports for a minute and the new baseball stadium in Lincoln is one of the finest minor league parks in the country. The Huskers and Lincoln Saltdogs share the stadium, which has garnered awards from all around. It's a definite upgrade over the Buck, but we all still love that dump.
13. Strobe light - Another great invention by a native Nebraskan. Without the strobe light how would we get our rave on?
14. Chimney Rock/Oregon Trail - Although I've never personally seen it, Chimney Rock is the state's best known natural landmark. I have stopped and looked around near there though after fording the Big Blue River and on my way to Fort Cheyenne. The Oregon Trail goes right through the state as well and is the basis for one of the greatest games ever invented.
15. Sandhills - Out Chimney Rock way are the scenic Sandhills known for their cranes and sandy hills. Also, the best new golf course in the country is built in the area, so that's a plus.

Well that's a nice little summary of 15 different reasons why Nebraska kicks ass, but there are so many more. I'm sure my fellow Awesome Inc.-ers will add their two cents as well, but this gives everyone an idea as to why Nebraska is the Good Life!

BBL