Hall of Fame....Hall of F'ing Terrible

This is the first in a series of posts about one thing that is great and one thing that is equally f'ing terrible. First up are two things that people have fighting about for centuries. Black Licorice and Radio DJs

Black Licorice kicks ass. Many people disagree with this assessment and I call those people morons. The debate rages as to where black licorice was invented, some say the United States, some say the Netherlands, I say Heaven. Licorice has been used to treat common maladies like sore throat, arthritis and can even help your memory so you can remember how fucking awesome black licorice is. In the U.S. we have this b.s. imposter licorice, red. How they came up with this garbage I'll never know, but it can't touch old reliable black. And look at all the cool stuff black licorice has brought us!!!!! So if you don't like black licorice, stop being such a puss and try some, visit Licorice International in the licorice hub of the world, Lincoln, Nebraska and get your hands on the LIC!

Radio DJs are the most vile, despicable people on earth. Let me first preface this Hall of F'ing Terrible inductee by saying that I will primarily focus on the morning DJ. Generally these "people" fall into three catagories. The first are the caffinated twenty something kids who's job it is to read stupid ass polls, talk about how men and women are different and ask "What's your worst date ever?" They are generally on Pop stations and they say things like, "We have WAAAAAYYYYY too much fun!!!" Then a twelve year old girl will call in and give a shout out to Marie and Samantha from Sheridan School. A hell of a lot of forced laughter from this group.

Group #2 are the easy listening DJs. They have more soothing voices and don't get as "edgy" as the pop stations. Their target is 30-year old women, so all they talk about are relationships, the holidays, bad tv shows and celebrities. You can also be 90% sure that the man will have some sort of facial hair.

The final group is the most evil of the holy trinity of evil. It's the forty-five year old guys who think they are fucking hilarious. Now if you have been to a sporting event where some old guys sit by you and they just keep dropping god awful jokes and think they're goddam Dave Attell, you know what I am talking about. Seriously guys, you can't all call your show the "Morning Zoo." They love doing parodies, ripping on celebrities and farting. The problem is they are not funny. Which brings us to the real reason I despise morning DJs: Forced Laughter. I'm looking your way Bob and Tom in the Morning. "It will be overcast today, so not bright like yesterday." "Speaking of 'not bright' Paris Hilton..." HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!! They used to give people hard labor for broadcasting crap like that.

The next time any of you laugh at one of those radio shows, just think of this, because he is the one informing you that women like the toilet seat down.

JT

thanks nutsonline.com and Rock1015.com for the pics