Tuesday, May 30, 2006

David Bowie Has an Awesome Package


That's evidently what Muppet Master and director of "Labyrinth" Jim Henson wants you to notice. If you've never seen this film (shame on you) it follows the bitchy teenage girl Sarah, aptly played by Jennifer Connelly of Rocketeer fame. Her baby brother Toby, oddly dressed in a red and white striped one-zy, won't stop crying so naturally she wishes that he would be taken by the goblin king. Well her dreams come true and she has to go to a strange muppet filled world. All these characters are interesting but the real star of the film is David Bowie's pronounced area.


Bowie, named Jareth the goblin king, thrusts his way through a thoroughly enjoyable role where he terrorizes Sarah and for some reason wants to keep Toby. Henson in a stroke of genius made Bowie as creepy as possible by putting him in these grey tights that accentuated his unit. Sadly I couldn't find any good shots of the region, but I assure you if you rent the film you will have David Bowie's package etched in your mind.

APB for Exercise TV's Abs Girl


I was in the middle of my three hour workout the other day and I came across a great invention. Exercise TV which is on Cable On Demand. As I worked my washboard abs for the third time today I was enchanted by a vision of abalicious beauty. The host of the show is a good looking brunette, but to her left is an absolute knockout blond. She encourages me to work out everyday just by her presence, she is my fitness muse. I want to know who this woman is, and why isn't she famous? Seriously, second banana on an obscure workout show is not the place for her. If anyone knows who she is please give her my congratulations on being really hot. If you have Exercise TV check out the quick workouts, she does the abs.

Sunday, May 28, 2006

These damn kids and their rap music


Well, I recently just moved into a condo on a busy street and I really like it. It's nice to be able to paint whatever I want and be gaining equity. I have only one complaint. I'm tired of hearing blaring sterios. Now, living in Lincoln, Nebraska, I'm not exactly in an urban environment. Not that it matters, but most of these people are white males age 16-25.

Now there's a couple things that are annoying about this:

1. It's too damn loud and I shouldn't have to hear a freaking car stereo on the second floor probably 50-75 feet away from the road.

2. When listening to music that loud, the only possible reason to do it is to think you're cool and make others pay attention to it. When the bass if making the speakers vibrate so much that it sounds like it's going to blow, you can't possibly really even hear the song b/c the bass is so freaking loud.

Now it's not that I have it out for rap. I enjoy a reasonable amount of the genre (you can tell by my vocabulary in that sentence that I know my way around the streets). All I ask is that you turn down your volume b/c nobody's impressed. It's disturbing the peace. Or to translate to something the rap crowd can understand, it's DTP.

Naners

Thursday, May 25, 2006

European Vacation BBL style!


I think most of you who will read this knew why I've been away for awhile, but in case you didn't, I was gone for 10 days for a trip to Europe. It was awesome! I met my fam at the Paris airport since I was able to fly direct from Chicago and they had to go through Detroit. The flight ended up being pretty rough b/c I wasn't able to sleep like I had planned. I got about 3 hours sleep total within a 42 hour timespan, so wasn't ideal at all, but made it work.

Landing in Paris and getting around ended up being easier than I anticipated. I knew some French from my four years of it in jr. high/high school, so that helped a little. Also nice that the most important things had English translations. Customs was very easy and getting over to my family's terminal was just as simple. After a wait, they finally arrived and we were on our way into the city on the train. The outskirts of Paris are like any major city's rundown areas. Not very scenic at all, but coming up from the subway at our stop near the Seine was pretty cool. The old style buildings and narrow streets aren't something you see many places in the States.

After checking in, we headed right out to Notre Dame since it was only 1/2 mile away. It's pretty incredible to see in person with the twin towers, flying buttresses, and stained glass windows. It's quite the setting with it being on an island right in the Seine.





Next stop was another main tourist attraction: the Eiffel Tower. Approaching from the south side you're blocked by buildings and trees before it just rises up out of nowhere. FYI - it's just a tad bigger than the one in Vegas. :) After waiting forever, we finally got on an elevator to go up to the 2nd level. Quite the impressive view although outside of a few landmarks, Paris looks very bland from above. That night finished up with an ok dinner at a small cafe (only thing Paris has of course) and then crashing into bed.

Saturday, we were afraid it would rain all day, but luckily it only rained briefly in the afternoon and allowed us to walk everywhere for the day. After a subpar omelette breakfast (probably the only bad meal I had the whole trip), we began the trek. We start in the park near the hotel that ended up having a huge church (aren't they all in Europe??) with a small wedding going on.



Pretty cool to walk in and see that place, but it didn't compare to what we would see later on. Next up was the Louvre. We didn't go in on this day, but just walking around the building was cool. The adjoining gardens were also impressive.



The gardens lead right into the beginning of the Champs Elysees. Not being much of a shopper, this street wasn't as interesting as I had thought it'd be, but it's still cool how the shops line the street all the way up to the Arc de Triomphe. While the Champs wasn't that great, the Arc was amazing. Just thinking about all the history associated with it is pretty mindblowing.



Almost as mindblowing as the roundabout that goes around it! Pretty wild how the French handle that thing with no lane lines and traffic entering from all directions. After checking that out, we decided to walk back to the Eiffel Tower from a different direction. The view from across the river was a much better angle for pictures. The Champions League FanFest was also setup in this area, so that was cool to see as well even though I'm not much of a soccer fan.



With showers moving in, we quickly made our way to a cafe on the other side of the Tower to take cover and enjoy a snack. I got some crepes with chocolate and whipped cream. Delicious! We also enjoyed a hearty amount of secondhand smoke from the other diners, which was a common occurance almost everywhere. The French love their Marlboros!

After the pitstop to let the rain pass, we walked to Rue Cler, which is a three block street with tons of little shops selling everything from meats to pastrys to cheeses to fruits and veggies to chocolates and more. My mom loved this street and it was pretty fun to find more of a local area away from many tourists. We picked up some baguettes among other things for the train ride the next day and moved on.



We walked by Invalides next, which is where Napoleon and others are buried, and that is as impressive as any other building in Paris from the outside.



The trek finished up with St. Sulpice Church of Da Vinci Code fame (the Rose Line does exist inside) and then crossing the Pont Neuf bridge (oldest bridge in Paris). After all of this we finally ended up back at the hotel after what we estimated was a 10 mile walk. It was a long ways, but if you have the energy it's probably the best way to see the city's highlights. That night we ate at a nice cafe near the first church we saw that day and it was really good. Finished up the night falling asleep to some BBC World and French tv.

Well I left off in Paris, so let's keep rolling on to the French Riviera. My mom made things very easy for the whole trip by figuring out all the train schedules we needed and securing reservations if necessary. You have to reserve seats on the TGV trains (high-speed), but it's well worth the extra effort. Those things can fly! The trip down to Nice took most of the day even with the fast train, but we still had all evening to check out the town.

After a little trouble navigating the poorly-labeled and winding streets, we finally found our hotel, got checked in, and then headed out. Nice doesn't have the flashy reputation like Cannes to the west or Monte Carlo to the east, but it's pretty sweet. The boardwalk along the Mediterranean Sea reminded me of Atlantic City minus the filth.



The restaurant area of Nice is pretty amazing. There must be 30-40 cafes within a few blocks of one another, so tons of options for dinner. We were recommended to an Italian place by the hotel and it was really good. It was really popular, so not as relaxing as you'd like when you're on vacation, but still really good food. I personally can say that the seafood pasta ended up being rather large.



The next day, we grabbed some pastries and headed to the train station. The short train ride to the east took us to Monaco, which lived up to its reputation as a high class place with incredible views. The problem with it is that those views are created by it sitting on a mountainside, which you must walk up and down to get anywere for the most part. It's worth the trouble though. We made our way down to the famous casino and found out that it didn't open to the public until 2 pm, so we had some time to kill at the cafe next door (FYI - If you want a great club sandwich, go to Monte Carlo!). At 2 pm, we headed back the casino only to realize you have to pay $10 each just to get in, so we decided it wasn't worth it. (After returning to the States, I've read that you get 2 $5 chips to play with for that entry fee, so we should have done it.) We spent a little more time taking in the sights and it was kind of interesting to see them setting up the course for the Monaco Grand Prix, which is coming up soon.







We hopped back on the train and headed back through Nice to Antibes, which is just east of Cannes and an old, walled city that must have been used as a strategic military location long ago. It's a fun little town with lots of shops along narrow streets and a great view of the Mediterranean when you get on the other side of the wall. Also had the first of many scoops of gelato on the trip in Antibes, so that alone would have made it worth it.



We returned to Nice for dinner and ate at one of the other restaurants down by the coast and it too was very good. Like I said earlier, we really only ran into one poor place to eat.

Up next was another somewhat long day of travel as we headed to Bellagio on Lake Como with a train switch in Milan. My mom found a great place to stay in Bellagio that made hauling the lugguge up the step walkways in town well worth it.



There aren't many "sights" in Bellagio, so we didn't have to worry about seeing something of note and it was more relaxing. The day and a half there consisted of sitting by the pool, going for a quick run, eating at cool cafes, eating lots of gelato, and just walking around the town. We also had this view to look at from our room:



We made the short trip back to Milan the next day and while the city as a whole is underwhelming and even kind of ugly in areas, certain parts of it are incredible. The train station itself is amazing. It was built during Mussolini's time and is probably overly grandiose, but that is what makes it so impressive.



The most amazing building we saw on the whole trip was in Milan. Duomo is the third largest Catholic church in the world and I believe it! The place is simply huge and overwhelming. The Galleria next to it is unbelievable as well and is the nicest "mall" you'll ever see.





My dad and I explored more of the city, while my mom and sister took advantage of the shopping Milan offers. Somewhat near Duomo is the Sforzesco Castle and quite impressive in its own right. Combined with the huge park connected to it, they form one of the nicer areas in the city. It's worth checking out if you are ever in Milan. After some pizza for dinner (it's good, but Chicago deep dish is much better) and one last gelato, we crashed for the night exhausted from the ridiculous amount of walking we did.

The last day before we had to fly back was one of the best even though we were on a train most of the day. We took the TGV back to Paris through the scenic French Alps and it somehow went even faster than the one we took to Nice. If you aren't careful, it could make you sick to your stomach going that fast.

Our last night in Paris was limited, but we packed in quite a bit. After an excellent dinner (surprise, surprise!), we hustled over to the Louvre. Friday nights at 6 are free for those under 26, so my sister and I got in free. Had we had it to do over again, we wouldn't have cut it so close to closing time. It is so much more than just famous paintings, which don't do much for me personally. We saw the Mona Lisa and the other famous works of course, but it was the sculptures we came across at the end of our visit that I feel bad not having had longer to check them out. The one we did get to see was Hammurabi's Code, which was made in 1700 BC! That was very fun to see.



After the Louvre, we just walked around near the Seine and took in Paris at night since we hadn't really done that yet. As great as the city is during the day, it's even more amazing at night. The Eiffel Tower is lit up and even sparkles on the hour after dark and then you have all the lights reflecting off the Seine as well. It's like the Riverwalk in San Antonio times 100.



If you look in the background, you can see Notre Dame in this pic:



Well that's the recap. It was an incredible experience and if you have the money and time to ever do it you must. Hopefully I'll be back overseas sooner rather than later because there are still a ton of places I want to see, but for a first trip to Europe this was pretty amazing.

BBL

Sunday, May 07, 2006

You Suck Larry The Cable Guy



So I get done running the marathon today and sit down to watch some tv and what is on but "Larry the Cable Guy: Git-R-Done." Now I've had a problem with this douche for awhile but it's now time to air out the laundry.

"Larry the Cable Guy" is actually Daniel Whitney, he was born in Natchez, Mississi...........oh wait, he wasn't even born in the South. You're from Pawnee City, Nebraska and you lived there until you were 16 Dan! Well, after he left Pawnee City he headed down south where he lived in a traile.....oh, nevermind he went to Kings Academy, a private school, in the run down, ramshackle town of West Palm Beach, Florida. He says he got his accent in college in Georgia, but who the hell changes their accent in college?

Notice also on the picture above that Dan is wearing a hat with the Confederate Flag waving on the front. He also has the flag on his guitar on stage. I don't know if you had history at your snooty private school Dan, maybe you guys were too busy paddling each others' asses while making fun of minorities and gay people, but you're from Nebraka and Nebraska fought for the Union, otherwise known as the United States. The confederates were fighting against the U.S., they were fighting for slavery, and they lost. Nebraska is not the South. We don't have Southern accents. The state to the south of us, Kansas, is not in the South either.

Now Dan, you've already been eviscerated by a much funnier man than myself, David Cross. I can't do any better than he does. Let's just say I'm very very sad that you are from Nebraska. I know there are a lot of Nebraskans that disagree with me, but they are rednecks who think being stupid means you are a good American.

I don't know what to hope Dan. Maybe you are faking this whole redneck thing to make some big cash. In that case you are a whore who sold your upbringing and heritage out to make some money. Then again maybe you are truly the guy you portray on stage, in that case damn, then it sucks to be you.

JT