You Suck Larry The Cable Guy
So I get done running the marathon today and sit down to watch some tv and what is on but "Larry the Cable Guy: Git-R-Done." Now I've had a problem with this douche for awhile but it's now time to air out the laundry.
"Larry the Cable Guy" is actually Daniel Whitney, he was born in Natchez, Mississi...........oh wait, he wasn't even born in the South. You're from Pawnee City, Nebraska and you lived there until you were 16 Dan! Well, after he left Pawnee City he headed down south where he lived in a traile.....oh, nevermind he went to Kings Academy, a private school, in the run down, ramshackle town of West Palm Beach, Florida. He says he got his accent in college in Georgia, but who the hell changes their accent in college?
Notice also on the picture above that Dan is wearing a hat with the Confederate Flag waving on the front. He also has the flag on his guitar on stage. I don't know if you had history at your snooty private school Dan, maybe you guys were too busy paddling each others' asses while making fun of minorities and gay people, but you're from Nebraka and Nebraska fought for the Union, otherwise known as the United States. The confederates were fighting against the U.S., they were fighting for slavery, and they lost. Nebraska is not the South. We don't have Southern accents. The state to the south of us, Kansas, is not in the South either.
Now Dan, you've already been eviscerated by a much funnier man than myself, David Cross. I can't do any better than he does. Let's just say I'm very very sad that you are from Nebraska. I know there are a lot of Nebraskans that disagree with me, but they are rednecks who think being stupid means you are a good American.
I don't know what to hope Dan. Maybe you are faking this whole redneck thing to make some big cash. In that case you are a whore who sold your upbringing and heritage out to make some money. Then again maybe you are truly the guy you portray on stage, in that case damn, then it sucks to be you.
JT
posted by Awesome Inc. @ 7:10 PM
19 comments
19 Comments:
Amen! How anybody can say they love this guy's comedy is beyond me. It's ridiculous! I, too, am ashamed he's a native Nebraskan.
BBL
I think he's funny. Any time I set out to accomplish a task, whether monumental or menial, I always say my "Git-R-Done" mantra.
Just kidding. Larry the Cable guys fucking sucks.
J.H. Naners
Dont knock what you dont understand, if you like him or not he is still making over 20 million a year so somebody besides your shit talkin ass must like him. Don't be jealous if you can't GIT-R-DONE!!!!
I think I understand him just fine. He's pretty good at acting like pond scum. I'm just saying that when it comes to creativity, he's lacking, severely. Look at both of his shitty movies. Delta FARCE and WitLESS Protection?! All you gotta do is throw some hot co-star in the mix and you've got at least a minimum audience. His "art" doesn't expand anyone's mind, much less does it make you use your brain. He's responsible for making being a fat, beer guzzling, queer bashing, wife beating redneck a good thing.
I think people need to stop taking entertainer so seriously. He is an entertainer who is cashing in being a redneck.
Heck, if I could fake something that good that does no harm and make people laugh, I'll do it too.
Wow...everything you said in your little rant just proves that your much more of a dumbass than what you think Dan is for doing his JOB! Get a fucking life! Grow up people dont bash your asses for the shitty life you have!!!
So yeah Larry the cable guy is Daniel whitey's stage name, who hasn't used a stage name before...but seriously to all you losers bitching about it how many of you can say you have at least a million dollars in your bank account? Who sucks now? I rest my case..... Git-R-Done
You are a fuckin' retard. Larry the Cable Guy is an ACT. It is a character he plays. That's all. He is not my favorite comedian by any means. Your post just shows how fuckin' stupid you are to take his act so personally. Jackass!
So yeah Larry the cable guy is Daniel whitey's stage name, who hasn't used a stage name before...but seriously to all you losers bitching about it how many of you can say you have at least a million dollars in your bank account? Who sucks now? I rest my case..... Git-R-Done
so by your definition, people with money are bettert han people without? you, sir, are the one who sucks. go fuck yourself
You people are just jealous... shame on you, have you got nothing better to do... larry at least is gettin r done...
how the fuck can people laugh at this shit, it is pathetic, it is so stupid and juvenile, he makes poo and fart jokes, jokes about balls, this guy is a fucking joke, he is not funny.
he may be cashing in on being a poser and acting like the shittest kind of people in the world but how the fuck is he making money, he is not funny, at all, i feel ashamed even watching his 'comedy' bits.
its just stupid and not even the funny kind, just shit.
WHO THE FUCK SINGS SONGS ABOUT BUMS AND GETTING A JOB is he in fucking pre school or is everybody just fucking immature and stupid.
Seriously if your gonna make a fake identity to make people laugh it should at least be sort of funny. I can't even explain how frustrated it makes me that people defend this pathetic piece of shit. Have you seen his audience? It is filled with redneck inbred douchebags with half a brain that disgrace the world with their intolerable annoying over confident presence. That can relate to the grossly unfunny or are just too immature to know what most adults think are funny not fucking fart jokes. GFY
"anon" (the cynical one)
just shut the hell up
I saw Larry the cable guy Monday night, the worst show I ever saw. The show was given by the sheriff association. I guess he did it for free, because he was terrible. I will never go see him again.
the otiginal is obviously a complete retard if he or she actually believes that the confederacy only fought for slavery....pick up a history book moron slavery was a very minor issue only rich people owned slaves and in the south not many were rich basically the 1% had them it was not about slavery hahaha what a fuckin retard
Good one -- I agree -- he totally sucks. As for the people that measure his success by how much money he makes? Hey, Russian mobsters pimping out teenage chicks to fat slobs in Turkey make lots of money too -- so what the hell does money mean?
I never really thought he was funny and kinda knew he was a "fake" redneck.Didn't really care one way or the other until I saw him on his show the other night trying to drive a tank and the female enlisted person trying to show him how to operate it stuck her head down the hatch to crank it and he acted like she was blowing him.That is just rude and insane.That young girls family will have to see that and I'm sure she get's harrassed all the time anyway being a pretty female in the military.What a dick "larry" is for doing that.I wish he had to go out and get a real job.
dan sucks donkey dicks. his jokes are designed for comprehension lacking m'fers; you know, retarded people.
and by the way, if the m'fer is making 20 mil a year, what the fuck is he doing prilosec commercials with a stunt double (since he's too stupid and too fat to manage a jet ski)??
I think he's an ass and A T-Rump supporter to boot - or is that just another
act to impress his constituency ? If not he's ad stupid as they are.
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