I Ain't 'Fraid of No Ghost

Well Ray Parker Jr. I have a ghost in my house. Yep, my water turns on without human hands. There are sounds of things falling down in the lower story when I am upstairs and upon inspection I can find nothing out of place. Laundry detergent, arranged with laserlike precision by the ol' lady, shifts in the space of two hours with no humans descending to the basement. Once we were both upstairs there was a sound that sounded kind of like if one of those swinging doors in the basement, the doors are kind of like cowboy saloon doors that kind of swing a couple times before closing. We went downstairs and found the doors open and nothing amiss.

And now the strangest piece of poltergeistery. I was setting down a stack of papers on a shelf in my tv room. Just before I set the papers down a small handheld game, 20 questions, turned on by itself on the shelf above. The game beeped away without being touched and without any of the buttons touching anything solid. That scared me. Then I leaned over to looked at the small digital screen and a message scrolled across, "I know what you're thinking."

So if anyone knows how to do a seance so we can see our paranormal friend, come on over and have a go. Maybe it's a really hot female ghost (3-way?) or it could be a demon spawn of Satan come to claim my soul for everlasting hell-fire. Well, either way it needs to let me get to my all important task of watching the Mclaughlin Group and eating cottage cheese.

BYE BYE

JT (Hopefully this site is back up. These are really dumb, but the one with Sam Jackson made me laugh for 4:30 minutes straight. Release date on "Snakes on a Plane" is September 2006.